feels like there's another one she's "supposed" to have, even though she's tired, old, lacks funds, and doesn't handle pregnancy well.

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a31602845/having_another_baby_when_you_thought_you_were_done..

Honestly, I have never heard of this phenomenon outside of Mormonism. I guess it has to do with the whole spirit baby thing.

My coworker just did a triple-take and asked me what was wrong. Apparently the look on my face while reading that thread was quite disturbing...

That is so horrible. Everything in her life is saying 'be done' but her 'feelings' and she has spent her whole life trusting feelings over facts. I guess the anti-depressant makers will be happy.

well I can definately testify that when this baby gets here I am going to have my tubes tied. I even told him to put them in a double knot! She was the surprize of our life. We hadn't used birth control for 7 years. We decided that it was probably time to make it permanent just in case something did happen while I started perimenopause. Surprize! Already pregnant. :)

pamarnold Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> well I can definately testify that when this baby
> gets here I am going to have my tubes tied. I
> even told him to put them in a double knot! She
> was the surprize of our life. We hadn't used
> birth control for 7 years. We decided that it was
> probably time to make it permanent just in case
> something did happen while I started
> perimenopause. Surprize! Already pregnant. :)


Wow, WHAT a surprise that was!! For some it might be more like a horror show. Talk about a change in how you had projected your life. What is the age difference with the youngest?

My youngest is almost 7. Believe me sometimes it feels like a horror show. It is so much harder to be pregnant in your 40's. Just found out today that she is breach and I will need a c-section.

I think I'll write a mini-drama for TV called "Left Behind." It takes place in the spirit world. All the spirits left behind because their mothers didn't have enough faith to have one more.

It'll focus on what those valiant spirits go through, how they try to communicate to that dense-headed woman on earth who can't hear the whispers of the spirit, the uncertainty they live with about whether they will get to have a body and come to earth, the tragic news when they find out she's in menopause. The valiant ones who would have hastened the second coming if they were here on earth. Then the less valiant who get reassigned to be born in Africa and China. Oh, the humanity.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2012 04:22PM by holistic.

That is a great idea, do you work for fox?? you should!! It could come on right after Desperate Housewives! So funny! I love that! somehow maybe you could incorporate the 1/3 that went with Jesus' brother, Satan in the big war in Heaven...give some good background for the first couple of episodes.

We could uncover which of Satan's followers which baby spirit defeated before the plan was brought forth. And maybe that fallen angel is personally persecuting a particular family because they know that if the spirit is born it would again do battle with him and defeat him; but if tired old mama doesn't let herself be pregnant again, this evil son of perdition will have free reign to take revenge on the family in the absence of the unborn mighty one.

*giggle* That's hilarious! I'd watch it!

God, just tell this woman to borrow a newborn from a friend for a few hours a week!

+1

OK...are these women for real? Pre-mortal existence? It's like reading the plot of a Twilight Zone episode

From that post:

"No, I am not baby hungry. I absolutely dread the thought of being pregnant again. I am sick 24/7 the whole 9 months. I do not sleep well when I am prego, so I am constantly tired. I just dont do pregnancy well. That first yr is always difficult for me. I am often overwhelmed with the kids we have. Finanically things are still rough."

WTF?? Is she trying to justify not having another kid because SOMENE ELSE is telling her that she's "leaving a child behind"??

I mean really, such a mental struggle for this woman especially with "all the signs from HF" telling her she's done with kids...
Her husband doesn't want anymore.
Her body doesn't want anymore.
Her checkbook doesn't want anymore..


HF IS trying to tell her something...She's just not listening.

So to "ask the question that SHOULD be asked"......
Who is telling her she should have another kid????

Went to the temple for answer. Didn't get one.
When will they learn?

EXACTLY....

Mormons are told that all the answers are in the temple. You just have to be "worthy" enough to receive the answers.

So...are they not worthy enough to receive the answer to a really important question?? If that's the case, then does that mean that they are not worthy enough to have more children????

well that is pretty much what one person who commented said.... what a bizarre thing to say you "KNOW" WILL happen... wtf

This has to be the ultimate in Mormon reproductive STUPIDITY! >:-(

she'll have another kid. It'll be ok. She'll get up and testify that she knew the lord wanted her to have another and what a blessing this child has been. Or, the child will not be ok and she'll still get up and testify how much a blessing this child has been.

Just seems like there's a severe lack of common sense in the Mormon church. Good thing I was never a member.

knotheadusc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just seems like there's a severe lack of common
> sense in the Mormon church. Good thing I was
> never a member.


LOL. Excellent word choice "severe lack of common sense". Don't that just fit most morgbots to a T?

so? I have 3 sibs who were born because of the church, and 2 know they were 'unwanted'. Just born because my mother was 'obedient' to my father's idea she needed to have more kids. My mother is Not the parenting type- maybe she would have been ok with just the first 3. Number 4, even, as i was 9 and helped, but being raised by an abusive mom who had more kids than she could handle, i vote she leaves the poor spirit where it is and go on enjoying the kids she already has.

It's not like the world needs to be populated any longer!

so? I have 3 sibs who were born because of the church, and 2 know they were 'unwanted'. Just born because my mother was 'obedient' to my father's idea she needed to have more kids. My mother is Not the parenting type- maybe she would have been ok with just the first 3. Number 4, even, as i was 9 and helped and we were all in school, but being raised by an abusive mom who had more kids than she could handle, i vote she leaves the poor spirit where it is and go on enjoying the kids she already has.

It's not like the world needs to be populated any longer!

While in Utah, I had to have surgery. My female doctor was a gynecologist but not an OB. During my visits, she found out I was an exmo. She told me she couldn't believe how many Mormon women came to her for hysterectomies that weren't medically necessary but they insisted on coming up with a reason to have one because they needed that reason to not have anymore children. So, these women used hysterectomies as birth control. She ended up moving her practice elsewhere.

Ugh... that is so sad.

AnonForNow Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> While in Utah, I had to have surgery. My female
> doctor was a gynecologist but not an OB. During
> my visits, she found out I was an exmo. She told
> me she couldn't believe how many Mormon women came
> to her for hysterectomies that weren't medically
> necessary but they insisted on coming up with a
> reason to have one because they needed that reason
> to not have anymore children. So, these women
> used hysterectomies as birth control. She ended
> up moving her practice elsewhere.


Wow! This is horrible!!!

Been there, done that with child #9.

When you ask for a hysterectomy after that many kids, no one even asks why.

Seriously one of the happiest days of my life, right after childbirth.

Only two weeks ago I told my youngest daughter that I waited to divorce her father because I felt there was still one child waiting to be born. She said she thought she was an accident and I told her no, I figured five was not that much more difficult than four.

Unfortunately, I was preoccupied with my divorce during her babyhood and preoccupied with my second son's drug abuse and ultimate death when she was in middle school. She had a really lonely childhood being excluded by the older girls and lacking a decent amount of mother-attention.

She was so angry as an adult that I was a semi-zombie mother that it seemed for a while we would end up totally estranged. Fortunately, I woke up to my delusions in time to participate in her life. I would say she and I are very, very close with lots in common. My life is much enriched by her presence.

Each woman must make this decision herself. It is not really a family decision because the body belongs to the woman and the nursing and hard work of that first couple of years falls on the woman. Pregnancy is not a team event. The nausea is all yours, the varicose veins, the hemorrhoids, all yours. The stretchmarks are yours, the career hold is also your sacrifice.

And it was worth it. Your husband won't necessarily stay your husband, but you will always have your children.

Anagrammy

Ana..so sorry for your loss.
Not the topic of thread, but have an addict child.

You do get lost in the disease with them. But as a mom you have to try.

Ugh. Unfortunately, I know a lot of women like this. TBM wives of some of my former law school classmates. One in particular comes to mind as she recently blogged about feeling guilty not being preggo right now with her 4th. They still get welfare assistance so they are either scamming the system or her DH is making nothing doing DUI work (likely both). And they are living in her parents house while they are serving a mission and they have no idea where they will live when they return.

Omg...it is baffling they would even consider having another baby in those circumstances.

Or another one who is trying to desperately convince herself that she's teaching her 5 kids good life lessons because they have to share everything and wear hand me down clothes, etc. (She was personally offended at some other mommy blogger who said having an only child is better than having a bunch of kids).

Now I believe how many kids one chooses to have is a personal choice but shit, you should be able to provide them with at least the basics necessities.

Wish I had a nickel for every time over the years I've heard about people having another baby because they had a dream and a child "appeared" to them. Just the other day my mom was tellng me about a neice having a dream about a baby so she knows she has to have another one. Godforbid she should use her brain during waking hours to confirm that rationale.

WTF???? It's a dream. We all have them. Or do mormons think they're the only ones who dream? Do all (or any of) our dreams mean those things are supposed to happen in real life? If so, how come no RFM posters are knocking on my door for the sex we're supposed to have?

Seriously. Athreehourbore as yet to show up at my door. Wth?

Maybe because I haven't been to church in a while? I'm surprised how many people have 5+ children on that board. There were 3 kids in my family, and I always felt like that was too many because someone was already left out (either me, because I was the only girl, or my youngest brother because he was too young for something) We did very little as a complete family. My mother apologized to me on my 18th birthday for making me raise myself because she was so busy with my brothers. She wanted 6 kids but luckily stopped at 3. I have a few friends that have 3 kids, but they are all married to men in the military and are stay at home moms so they have the time and the money and the insurance to care for all these kids. I still think they are nuts =)

I saw a study not too long ago (from Harvard Medical School I believe?) that found correlation between having pregnancies too close together and the second child being autistic. They said that the body needs 3-5 years between pregnancies to build up proper nutrients to support the second pregnancy, otherwise the second child had an increased risk of autism. Very interesting study, wish I could find the link. I can't imagine what these women are doing to their bodies and the overall health of their children by having them so close together. I don't think Green Jello and diet Coke have the nutrient content to support all these pregnancies =)

The Mormon God must really hate women.

We have three children. Our girls are 20 and 23, and we have a 9 year old son. He was a "surprise", to say the least! LOL I was almost 40 when I found out I was pregnant with him.

What I find interesting is that I am enjoying my son much more than I enjoyed my daughters. Part of it stems from being a veteran parent...but there are other factors as well.

When I had the girls, I was in my 20's. We were still trying to get through school, and struggling financially.

Now, with my son, hubby and I are in a much better financial place. I have my Masters degree and am teaching at a local college. My husband has a management position with a Fortune 500 company.

We are much more relaxed. I am not a "nervous Mom" because I have been through this before.

I am now 47, almost 48. Although I don't think I would want to have anymore children at this point, I certainly don't regret having my son. There is a lot to be said for waiting a while, and having kids when you're older.

I suppose my advice to the Mom in the link would be to wait a while. How old is old? Let the dust settle financially, and take time to enjoy the kids you have.

If a "surprise" occurs later, then great!