I do not think the guy who shot up his daughter's laptop is abusive. He's guilty of being over-the-top. His fifteen minutes will blow over and that will be that.

Now THIS is child abuse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqcrwcghx4

The man in the video was a judge in Texas. It's truly sickening and not for the squeamish. Lots of filthy language. This is child abuse. The girl in the video was being beaten with a belt for downloading something she wasn't supposed to. To me, there's no question. The girl in the video also has a form of cerebral palsy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 06:03PM by knotheadusc.

They are both abusive. The difference is in the quantity.

A shoplifter and an armed robber are both criminals. The difference is in the degree.

matt Wrote:
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> They are both abusive. The difference is in the
> quantity.

That is your opinion. You are entitled to your opinion. I am entitled to mine.

> A shoplifter and an armed robber are both
> criminals. The difference is in the degree.

I don't think that's an appropriate comparison. But again, that is just my opinion.

The local authorities in North Carolina have investigated the Facebook dad and have evidently decided he is not guilty of abuse.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 06:19PM by knotheadusc.

Matt, Once again.....he owns everything in that house until she is out of it and can buy her own way. That computer was not purchased by her. It was bought by him. Don't say that just because he gave it to her that he cannot take it away. Each of our girls have their own computer. It doesn't mean they will leave the house with it went they are 18. By then they will be outdated anyway....but that is not the point.

Yes....this video.....it is child abuse.

What's sad is that the dad in this video will never be prosecuted because too much time has passed and the statute of limitations has expired. It really disturbs me that this man has been a family court judge.

He owns everything in that house.

Really? He owns everything?

Yes, is that hard to imagine he is the owner of his stuff. well, his wife is included in that. As far as the kids go....they have clothes, personal momentos, etc. Are they entitled to take their furniture in your liberal view. You know....for the greater good?

But if what you say is true, if he owns everything in the house, then that means nobody else in the house owns anything. That his wife or his children have no property rights.

Wait did you read the part about I wrote about the wife?

You said: Matt, Once again.....he owns everything in that house.

Does he or doesn't he?

Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? I made a clearer statement in my last post.

"His wife is included in that"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 07:10PM by pamarnold.

So--I give my kid something for Christmas and it is still mine? My kids don't live here and they still have stuff in their rooms--and that is mine, too?

What a joke! If I buy my kids clothes--they are THEIR CLOTHES. I don't expect them to defer to me at all.

I think you are getting into things like not learning to respect your own possessions, etc. There is some pride in ownership.

I'd hate to live in some of these homes. My dad was STRICT--very STRICT--but he never said he owned everything in the house EVER.

I think you might have a reading comprehension problem as well. Sheesh.

opinion. Maybe you should have spelled it out better.

pamarnold Wrote:
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> I think you might have a reading comprehension
> problem as well. Sheesh.

So it is the fault of all the other people for not agreeing with you?

pamarnold Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? I
> made a clearer statement in my last post.
>
> "His wife is included in that"

No but I DO have an issue with rude people who can't be bothered to engage in civil discourse.

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=88382
does not agree with you, by the way.

The father is opening himself up to problems. If he buys something which he says he is gifting to a child (car, computer, etc.) and then performs an act that tends to indicate that he had not really gifted it to the child (I.E., sells the car, shoots the computer) at all, then would the authorities not be able to count all of the possessions of his children as property to be divided equally in the case of divorce, or auctioned off in the case of a bankruptcy order?

In my country, the U.S.A., no husband or father owned *everything* in the house. And kids had rights.

Ok so lets have a legal discussion here. When a parent has said child......the child is a minor. The family provides for the said child. That would include shelter, stability, food, clothing etc. When the child is 18 he or she leaves. The child can have clothes, personal belongings to take with them. My kids will have the opportunity to work and learn how to provide for themselves or be in college. Then they do the same thing for their children if they choose to have any. When we die....they will get what ever they want from the estate.

whatever...

I'll just leave this here...with special emphasis at :45...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEFj0Pngu_E

LordBritish Wrote:
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> I'll just leave this here...with special emphasis
> at :45...
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEFj0Pngu_E

Yes...

I think it is abusive, but it might not meet the legal definition of abuse. In my state, a parent is allowed to administer corporal punishment with an open palm, a belt, or a paddle, so long as it does not cause long term bruising or other series injury, and is not administered to the face, head, chest, or sexual organs.

Personally, I think that belts and paddles are over the top. A simple quick spanking to a small child, when he refuses to stay in time out is sufficient to make a point. Otherwise, timeouts, groundings, and temporarily taking away toys is more effective in the long run.

My father disciplined mostly with yelling and hitting. He wasn't nearly as bad as the man in this video, but he was terrifying when he was angry and out of control. Afterwards, he always acted like nothing ever happened.

The last time he struck me, I was almost 21 years old. I told him if he ever laid a finger on me again, I would have him arrested.

I think excessive corporal punishment does more harm than good. When my father was hitting me, it did not make me respect him. It made me fear and eventually hate him. To this day we don't have a good relationship, which is sad because he probably won't be around for much longer.

I agree with you, and I think the video was excessive. I only watched part of it though, because I couldn't make myself watch. I was just trying to offer explanation on why he was getting off.

I feel for you. Your father sounds like he should have had the cops called on him.

I understand my dad more now than I did back then. My dad is an alcoholic who was raised by a violent alcoholic. He later made the Air Force a career and went to Vietnam for three tours of duty. He has PTSD pretty bad. When I was growing up, he was always around, because as a retiree he ran his own business out of his home.

The sad thing is, I think if he hadn't been an alcoholic with PTSD dealing with his own childhood issues, he probably would have made a good father. At his core, he's a very decent, sensitive man and he definitely appreciated his children more than my mom ever did. My mom is a great lady with many talents, but she was not really cut out for motherhood. She had four kids that she never really wanted. My mom is better suited to being the parent of independent adults!

So my dad, minus the alcoholism and PTSD was probably the better parent. But add alcohol and all the unexpressed rage he suppressed over the years and you end up with a weird mixture of caring dad, control freak, violent drunk, and neglectful parent. And unfortunately, I was the last kid, so I got to deal with the brunt of his issues. Thank God for therapy!

I do love my dad, but I don't like him very much.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 07:42PM by knotheadusc.

That is such a disturbing video.

Boy that brought back memories. I was regularly spanked with a belt that looked just like that one. The grabbing the arm while hitting me was the same. The difference, however, between this father and my father was that I was spanked on bare skin.

My beatings tended to happen when I was much younger than this girl, however. Mine were rather regularly between the ages of 6 and about 12.

And, yes, my father was a TBM.

I never laid a hand on either of my children and respected the property I provided for them. They are respectful of others property and aren't violent citizens.

I taught them that actions had consequences, like if you break something you won't have it anymore. They never got into my stuff. And as adults they are great human beings.

There were rules just not 1000's of petty ones. And as adults neither fear there father, in fact they love him and show it.

In my opinion you raise by example so if you are short tempered or lazy you lash out. Wonder how kids learn to be bullies.

I have had lots of advice about spare the rod. But like I care what it says about anything in that book.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 07:38PM by beansandbrews.

We are the same beansandbrews, I just see no reason to beat anything into my children. Anything I give them is theirs to keep, it no longer belongs to me. My son broke his DS one day while horsing around with Dad, he left it on the floor and Dad stepped on the screen. They were both in the wrong and they split the cost to buy a new one. No spanking or whipping required, it was punishment enough to lose your favorite toy.

My father would get angry like this and whip us with a belt, I don't remember if it was to this extent, he was more verbally abusive than physically, either that or we just learned if we didn't want hurt worse, we didn't fight back. No one should be raised in fear like that, I didn't respect anything, I acted out of fear and my father and I don't have a close relationship now.

I can't say I've never hit my kids, I have if they've run in the road or gotten out of their carseat, but it was a quick swat and we're done.

They both have and use computers now like the computer crazy shooting dad, we watch what they do online but we act like they are trustworthy and they respond by being trustworthy. I thought the gun toting laptop shooter was over the top, it would have been punishment enough just to take it away. I think he really projects his inadequacy as a parent by throwing the hissy fit and treating his daughter like he owns her until she is 18.