I have been lurking for a while now, this is my first post. I was raised LDS but in a part member home and a pretty liberal family which helped me decide to leave when I was 20 and in college (I also never fit the gung-ho TBM mold and basically only went to Sunday meetings starting at 18). I am still friends with lots of TBMs on facebook and have just been so disgusted recently with the lack of respect for other ways of thinking. First was the post of an "interview" with some GAs that was really published in a church publication about how gay marriage wasn't ok because it was changing the definition of marriage and since it wasn't from God, it wasn't ok (but they needed to push that on the whole country apparently, and also polygamy was ok because it came from god)
There were comments on the post saying how you couldn't argue with that logic and it made me so furious because they couldn't understand how other people have different religious beliefs!

Then recently there have been posts on baptism for the dead. Someone posted an article explaining them, and a comment from a Jewish person tried to say how it was insulting to perform these ordinances on deceased Jews and especially holocaust victims, and a TBM responded by saying that the Jewish person should understand that they have to follow god's laws even if people get upset (and therefore Jews should be ok with it). I mean really??!! They can't even see that such an argument could be used by the other side to not perform ordinances!

Today I snapped and posted that it is totally reasonable to be offended by dead dunking, and I was attacked by a TBM who said I should know better! I specifically said that freedom of religion allows Mormons to do it, but that they cant get upset (or do anything) when people complain, or campaign against the practice if they are going to be incredibly offensive!

I just do not understand why they can't even see the other side of the argument! I understood and accepted that there were other religious beliefs when I was a teenage TBM (maybe this is why I never fit in and was uncomfortable pushing religion on anyone) so how can these adults not understand?

Sorry for the long vent, just getting really annoyed about this and I am very pregnant so that is probably not helping lol!

Fortunely most of my FB friends don't discuss religion.

I keep waiting for some of mine too, in order to start a lively debate. But none of them do, even the TBMs.

I like Facebook too and I don't think there is anything adolescent about staying in touch with your friends. Personally, it can be healing too because you can reject all their Mormon invites to be a fan of Thomas S. Monson or the Book of Mormon. And you can block friends who act like this. Write them a short note that you are uncomfortable with people who behave in such an un-Christlike manner and until they can show more respect for others, you are going to block their posts. If you unfriend them immediately, you will also wipe your comments off their page before they see it so block their posts then unfriend them a few days later. Because even though they feel like good friends, they aren't good examples and aren't helping you become a better person. They are the kind of people who will ultimately bring you down.

between "staying in touch with your friends" and participating in elementary school "drama." Any type of entity that includes the term or phrase "de-friend" is certainly questionable. Personally, I work for the government and I have seen more marriages lost, friendships and career destroyed because of "facebook." Matter of fact, when candidates are going through a background check for government employment, many are disqualified all because of their involvement in "facebook." They go and pop their mouths off about some, racial, political, religious, personal, or other related topic, and.... there ya go, you just got DQ'd from a nice government career! Good job!

Yes lots of people post stupid things to facebook that could come back to haunt them later, but lots of people are smart enough not to do that! I don't have anything embarrassing on facebook, and don't post overly political or religious or any other controversial posts. I also do not friend anyone who I work with (unless we aren't working together anymore such as students who have left(who are my age so its not weird)). I have also had a background check for work (a real government one, I have a badge to get into restricted government facilities, won't say what because that would be bad to post online!) and nothing was a problem. Facebook is really useful when you're friends and family are literally spread all over the country, I just don't think that these people making the posts really understand how they are coming across to non-TBMs. None of them are bad people but I feel like if I point out how it sounds they will act like I'm the evil ex-mo, which basically happened today when I said that people may have a problem with baptism for the dead, and then I feel like I have to explain that I'm not attacking them!

with facebook you are putting your personal life on "blast." The whole world knows who you are, your birthdate, what you look like, where you went on vacation, who your kids are, where they go to school, and what little "Johnny" got for Christmas. Then you run to the cops and wonder why your life has been intruded, your identity stolen, your credit breached, etc. And better yet, why the "TBM's" are being so irrational! Please, pull it together! Stop crying already! You did it to yourself!

I am in the generation that grew up with facebook (I was at one of the first schools to get it when it came out) and I use it to keep in contact with people from college and high school. I would just hide the TBMs but I am genuinely interested in how their lives are going, but the random posts are getting to me!

Glad you got yourself out and your family was on the liberal side. The problem with Mormons is black and white thinking. There is no gray area with them. I think B for the D is a horrible practice/ritual - totally disrespectful and totally crosses boundaries. As a former Mormon, I believe you said, I would keep stating how you feel it is a horrible practice. Tell them how you feel it is so uncaring of the people who hear their loved ones have had this ritual done on them and these people were happy in their own belief system. Mormons don't care about anyone-no one!!!

I know what you're saying. I've only had a Facebook account for a little over a year, and very early on, I realized I was going to have a problem with my worlds colliding. Much of my immediate and extended family are TBM. My gay BIL and I are exmos. He no longer worries about filtering his posts--figuring they can just defriend him if they can't handle it. I, on the other hand, wasn't prepared to out my newly exmo self. So I created another account, took my openminded friends and family members with me, and ditched the rest on my old account. I'll pop onto that old one from time to time, particularly when I need to be "me" to respond to a particular BIL post, but otherwise, I feel like the fake identity is the real me. The fake identity is also where my RfM board name comes from. Fake name is Grace, so I borrowed a line from Amazing Grace...plus it fits. I've found the "real" me since leaving the morg.

It's hard to even be on the old account with all the TBM spewing. It's exhausting. I could not handle another "we're so persecuted and misunderstood" post. I love my safe little Grace bubble where I can say what I want and no one's trying to sell me on TSCC.

Reclusive me. I HATE facebook. It annoys me that my hubby is on it and says anything about our life.

i was on facebook for 3 days, before i deleted it. I don't want to know about my old boyfriends. I already dumped them once, some twice.

See my post above for further detail and explanation! I too HATE facebook! It (along with moronism) will be the death of this society!

I agree with you, but I think Facebook is probably better than Mormonism. Actually, I think Facebook will speed the decline of the church since it has opened Mormons to so much new information.

I had a facebook account for a few years but I recently deleted it and I don't really miss it.

It started to feel like I was attending a grown up version of high school. "Facebook High School".

For example, some people would post the most boring status updates and yet they would get all kinds of praise and attention for those boring updates.

While other people could have some really interesting news to report....and none of their "friends" seemed to care (these were often the same friends who would get excited about someone else's 'what I had for lunch' updates).

Or the way some people could post some really nice photographs of nature they took.....and nobody would have anything to say.

But another person could post a photo of themselves looking like they just rolled out of bed....and everyone starts squealing about how "AMAZING" they look! (I especially noticed this trend with mormon women).

As an adult I just wasn't interested in going back to the world of treating people as either "Popular" or "Unpopular".

I deleted my facebook and do not plan to get on again...I was one of the first to get it too...2005 and I want no more of that. I wrote... "This is an end of an era"...wrote some things about science and how people are too closed minded and there's no rm. for change...in a nutshell. Looking back, it's how I reclaimed me--more...that was back in Oct. soo...not too long ago. I don't care what they are doing...busy being annoyin mormons. When I got off fbook, fbook asked me why in the text box. I wrote.."The Mormon religion is crazy"

it seems like a desperate cry from me to 'let' people know what's going on...it's the lazy man's way to inform...that's just how I see it now. People don't need to know that much about me. For what...to reassure them that I am okay. that was a part of me that I needed to gut...burn with fire to purify and start anew. I feel like I went out with a big enough bang and in actuality I did it then so they would stop talking smack and get it out of their little systems and know if they care to read what drove me over the edge then go for it...but it will all seem riddleish if they don't inform themselves.

Hopefully, and what I aimed for was for some of them to scratch their heads and say wow...she's really lost it but maybe just maybe she has a new age point...cause my Mormon blinders are on! I also don't want those pictures and so called friends haunting me and I couldn't get the heart to delete about 500 of them, so off I went and I like it that way.

I delete or hide people I don't want to see all the time on my wall. If someone takes offense to anything I say I send them a message saying, "I don't comment on your posts if I don't agree, so don't comment on mine. If you don't like what I say, delete or hide me." This goes for family and friends. If someone gets nasty, I tell them "I don't give a shit." Then delete them - and this goes for family or friends. Your Fb page, so you run it how you want.

This demonstrates why religion can be so dangerous, because if someone believes their behaviors are what "god wants" there are no logical explanations for why they shouldn't do it. No amount of reasoning or other people's feelings matter. All that matters is doing that thing that "god wants."

Hope you find your visits here fruitful and happy!

TBMs are raised and conditioned to see ONLY the Mormon side of anything. Any other view is automatically invalidated. How is it possible to stay friends with someone who automatically judges you as WRONG if you dare to leave the teeny Mormon range of acceptable thoughts and ideas?

Welcome to RfM, NewPoster. You will find much more understanding here than with you will with your TBM friends!

Great rant. Enjoyed the examples about the smugness and small mindedness of mormons.

If they want to follow everything their prophet says, fine. But, to treat it like is is well thought out, reasoned, and logical? You have to be kidding. They are like first graders. So stunted.

I hate Facebook.

Good Grief people. USE the FB functions. Don't like a post: CLICK HIDE! Don't care for someone's status updates? Unsubscribe from them.
Keep your FB the way you want it.

If you get upset seeing things you don't like, use the functions.
If you get upset that easily, limit your Friends to just those you agree with. :-) Often those that don't agree will UnFriend you anyhow! It's just like Jr. High School some times! LOL

If you are interested in a large variety of opinions, keep all your functions open and contribute and enjoy it.

I like FB as I can keep in touch with friends and family also.