Had a discussion with a "golden"(hate that word) prospect.I had a new greenhorn that told me before hand would not participate in this discussion.
I Had the flannel board all set up with my paper cuts out of one of the first four visions. :)
I was giving my canned message and asked the family what they thought of this particular topic. I see my companion fidgeting and then he stands up with his arm to the square and commands the family by the power of the Melk p-hood to know that these things were true.
Couldn't pack up my flannel board fast enough- got our ass handed to us by the head of house.
In hindsight I'm glad it happened as one family was not so lucky. This particular family divorced over the church beliefs, moved to Zion, kids got into legal trouble and teen pregnancy, two more LDS marriage that went down the tube.They are all out now but are counted as actives still.

And to think I was peddling the plan of happiness.

thought he was the most spiritual thang since Bednar. We were on our way to go teach an elderly Afrikaans lady, who would have probably said yes to baptism. Anywho, it was in the middle of July, in a Norwich Neighborhood. In the same "flat" apartment complex, a sun bather was bathing in the pathway to the door that we needed to go to. She just had on a swimmin' suit is all, and was laying down on a towel in a grassy area next to the flat. Once he caught a glimpse of the sunbather , he refused to walk within 25 feet of her. I kept insisting, and tried to pull the ol' "I'm the senior comp..just close your eyes as we walk past, we have an appointment, she's expecting us." When suddenly, he through his arm to the square and "in the name of Jesus Christ, I command all demons that surround you, Elder, to disperse, for you are under the unfluence of Satan, who has deceived you and seeketh to bring your soul down by use of a fair maiden." I was so taken back by this, that I was speechless. I finally said, "Really Elder? Really, are using Biblical speech in our exorcisms now Elder?" He was a weirdo.

Well, that wasn't me, but I did things like that.

Well, at least at first.

Then, my senior comp b*tch slapped it out of me.

Not literally, figuratively.

And I stopped.

Serious.

I'm sorry.

Please don't hold it against me.

Now, I'm an RfM'er.

You used to be lulu-looney-tunes!

I'm still lulu looney tunes, only in a different way. And you understand my screen name.

I'd like to know what kind of "discussion" you had with the greenhorn after you left their home. ;-)

I don't recall the conversation but I couldn't hack the guy and told the zone leader it was either me or him leaving that week.

I knew by that time anyway I was offering a product with an expiration date.

Haha.

My 2nd companion was the most zealous one I had. His last name was Whitworth, and whenever people asked us what our last names meant (spanish speaking mish) I would say that his meant "He of little value." That always pissed him off, lol.

Sorry, off topic I know but it reminded me of one of our ward mission leaders named Larry Dick.

It was awsome going to the door with him.

"Hello, I'm Elder Clark. And I'm Larry Dick."

The looks on people's faces was priceless.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 04:27PM by ronas.

U.S. Ambassador to Denmark in 1998: Richard Swett. Pronounced just like it looks. Dick Swett.

A member, also.

Laughing like Muttley.

My fourth companion was trained by the most zealous of my MTC group, and when I came to him, I was only his second companion. We were in an unfamiliar European town, and since I didn't know my way around, we went off of what he and his trainer had been doing for our first week or so. He INSISTED we spend at least an hour a day street contacting on the main walking/shopping street, which I had never liked, and which, to my generally friendly European potential converts, was like social suicide to be seen talking to the two weird Americans dressed in white shirts, ties, and trench coats. I hated contacting people out in the open, just for having watched them bristle and recoil at our approach.

He also insisted that we SYL (speak your language) 24/7, which was good for his language, but really tough on mine. I will grant him this: speaking all the time made it come easier out of my mouth when the opportunity presented itself, but most certainly guaranteed that the language that DID come out of my mouth was grammatically worse off and more vocabulary poor than it had once been (am I right, mothers of young children who only speak to babies all day?).

Our apartment was a basement and the mission said we were spending too much money to heat it, so we'd turn it down as low as we dared in the winter, only to awake in the morning to study our scriptures with our breath steaming from our mouths.

At some later point in my mission, I had a conversation with him over the phone, and he thanked me for helping him loosen up a little bit (and even in English!) and that I had been a good companion, but that he hadn't realized it at the time.

There were others, but they weren't mine. Perhaps another topic for another day.

Had an entire district in the MTC tell me that the KKK was a good organization that protected "relgious freedom" and accused me of terrible things because I didn't suppor the KKK.

Had a companion tell the Latino member that he and I were worse than him in the pre-existence because we both had brown hair and darker skin. He was blonde and blue-eyed.

Knew another missionary that fasted every other day because he hated himself so much. He was probably the hardest working guy ever, but he was convince that he was going to hell. He never told us why. I am sure that he was secretly gay.

Well I had a comp that was fanatical in not 'hurting the members feelings'.
She had problems w/sugar like hypoglycemia or something like that and everytime she ate things with sugar (except for fruits) she became ill a bit later. Well instead of telling them that she had medical problems that made her unable to eat the desserts, she would eat it, then be sick and in pain later during the day or night.
I kept telling her that they would understand, but she would cry and say that she did not want to hurt those poor people's feelings.

He broke into our apartment one day and accused us of sleeping in. We were in our chairs having companionship study, our mouths open. Then he said that we heard him coming and jumped out of bed to appear like we were studying. There were other times in my mission when I had sloughed off, but that area wasn't one of them, so it was a bit frustrating for us not to be believed. Then I got an angry call from the mission president. My companion was so upset, that he left and took the train to Dublin to go home. They brought him back the next day while I waited alone in the flat, and we never heard another word about it. It was really demoralizing.

Another time I was out with that zone leader, and he had us tracting in Belfast several hours after sundown. Of course, nobody answered the door. So, after awhile he began staring off into the distance. He was such a dick, I didn't care what he was looking at, but eventually he drew my attention to it. "See that car out in that field? There are people committing whoredoms in that car." I ignored him. "They think they're happy but they're really not." I replied cheerfully "Not like us -- right Elder?"

Another time he called up and announced that we were going on splits, and I would be going with him starting the next morning. We would also be fasting. My companion was very obedient, so we began our fast that night. The next morning, we went on splits. That night we came back to the flat. The Norwegian elder said "I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry." I said "My fast is over, so I'm ordering a pizza." He acted surprised and said that our fast began that morning, so it would last until the following morning. I said "No. YOUR fast began this morning. Mine began last night. My fast is over." The pizza was delivered, and I ate the whole thing in front of him.

I overlapped with a weird Cletus Spuckler type during Italian training back in the old LTM days in Provo. The guy's first city was also Lugano, and he arrived in my a month after I got there. The other guys in the district could not stand him. He was stupid and exceedingly judgmental. So they used to torture me by sending out the pair of us greenies to do what they still called "dorfing," after the German word for village, Dorf. (The city had been in the German-speaking Swiss Mission, and some of their vernacular was still in the air.) That meant we took the bus out so some stupid little village and tracted among the rural farmers. Thanks, fellas. It was hell, but I hated it.

Anyway, he and I once got in a fight because he saw that I had a picture of my girlfriend and he grabbed it from me while we were on the train and tried to slide the window open and throw it out. Another time we were waiting for the funicular at a little station where there was magazine kiosk nearby. The kiosk had copies of the German weekly "Stern" on the racks, and as usual, the Stern cover had some busty woman on it. He was offended and walked over, grabbed all the magazines at one time, and angrily threw them over the platform onto the tracks. People were outraged and they began calling for the gendarme, but I hopped down onto the tracks and picked them all up and put them back on the rack. The ride up the hill on the funicular was tense, what with all the people scolding us.

Finally, he got transferred to Trieste. He was petrified of getting back on the train and transferring by himself in Milan. One of the elders had just come from there and wrote him all kinds of instructions. The elders' flat in Trieste was only about 500 meters or so down from the train station, and he had the address. He was so petrified that the other elder suggested he just get taxi when he got there, even if it was a very short ride. The guy getting transferred also had the elders' phone number, so we thought there could be no possible problem. So we take him to the station and see him off. Three days later we get a telegram from him (yeah, we still did telegrams in the 60s) that said, "Am in Trieste station. Lost." We just chuckled and ignored it. We called the other elders about a week afterward, and they had seen him hanging out in the station and figured he must be the new guy who never showed, and brought him back.

I had a companion who was promoted to SR level and was trying real hard to be the spit fire example for the president. I was at the beginning of my mission on a visa delay to brazil. I spent 4 months in VA waiting to get on a bird to brazil.

For whatever reason, we were in a trio waiting for the 4th Elder to transfer in. We had time to spare so we knocked doors. My over zealous SR companion had to show his enthusiasm by giving 3 invites at the door even by sticking his foot in the door.

I replied to him coming out of the walk way that we can just plant seeds in the meantime. He yeld at me to the top of his lungs in the middle of the street quoting that chapter in D&C about harvasting souls and NOT planting seeds.

At the end of his bitch session, he and the other dude walked to the next door. I was pist intensly and had now desire to be standing there or doing anything. I stayed in the street and and watched them work the coltasac until they were done. Wow, what a stupid day that was. Next thing I know, we give the 3rd elder to his new companion and he pulls out the missionary guide on my in the apartment. He tried to do the BRT thing with me str8 from the book.

What an insult, however, I appeased the geek. He took me tracking until 9:30 that evening.

If only I knew then what I know now...Damn!

What the hell's a golden prospect?

An easy baptism.

Okay, thanks ronas and Devoted Exmo.

I always thought a golden prospect was anyone who you came accross that would make a really good mormon -- white, rich, nice family, etc. Not necessarily someone who was a slam dunk to get baptized. Did I get that wrong?

It probably has different context in different areas but the context I've always heard is someone very prepared to accept the gospel.

Golden Prospect= sucker

Being 25 when I went on a mission and fluent in Spanish, the MP put me in charge of some of the harder-to-handle sisters. Babysitting really. My trainer was OK but then:

I was in a trio with a sister who read us her letters she wrote home, 90 percent of which were lies. She would grab her breast and wave it at the elders when they questioned what she was doing and said "Elder, if you don't like it, you can suck my left one."

Next companion never stopped talking. Ever. Non-stop from the time she got up til bed. The MP had to transfer her every month. Her last companion went out, bought her some classical music and a Walkman and said "Hermana, I know you are going home in six weeks and even though it's a mission rule you can't use one of these, I think since you've worked so hard and are so close to home, that it's OK for you to listen to the music you love." Finally, Hermana Chatty Pants shut up. Then her companion felt bad because she'd broken the mission rules and confessed to the MP who replied "Good move - I wish I'd thought of that months ago."

Next companion was a native Spaniard who told everyone she had a metal plate in her head from an accident and had to carry a card when she flew because her metal head set off airport metal detectors. She ended up having to go home a month early for gallbladder surgery so instead of going to the mission home, we took her to the airport ourselves. She went through the metal detector just fine - no alarms. Seriously, who tells people they have a plate in their head when they don't?

Next companion would sit on our balcony at night, wearing a bat-shaped silver ring she called her "Friend of Bats" ring. She'd wave her hand around, calling the bats to her. She refused to speak in any discussion - she was too frightened - even though she'd been in Spain about 8 months by this time. She had stomach problems from getting really sick on bad olive oil in her first area and so we ate brownie dough for dinner every night. Believe it or not, I actually liked her. She had a really good heart and didn't belong in the meat grinder of a mission. She'd been goth before her mission so I got her a gargoyle for a wedding present. Plus, she hated our MP and said if he ever became a GA, she'd know without a doubt the church wasn't true. He became a GA about 10 years ago and I keep hoping to bump into her on one of these boards, since we've lost touch. Hermana B, if you read this PLEASE find me on Facebook. You know who I am from the brownie dough story!!!

About the time she went home early (and terrified because she was from Utah and knew she'd be pilloried), the MP confided in me that fully 25 percent of the sisters in our mission were on anti-depressants. A few months later, he went home and the new MP didn't need me to babysit so I my last 3 companions were wonderful.

Those are just my companions. I haven't even told you the story of the gorgeous former model who took off her nametag and flirted relentlessly with the gay guy they were teaching, hoping to turn him, so she could have a baptism. He fell in love with her, got baptized and then she dumped him and went home to her RM. He went back to being gay and hated Mormons ever after.

Best year and a half of my life...or something like that.

mormonisn't Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Had a discussion with a "golden"(hate that word)
> prospect.I had a new greenhorn that told me before
> hand would not participate in this discussion.
> I Had the flannel board all set up with my paper
> cuts out of one of the first four visions. :)
> I was giving my canned message and asked the
> family what they thought of this particular topic.
> I see my companion fidgeting and then he stands up
> with his arm to the square and commands the family
> by the power of the Melk p-hood to know that these
> things were true.
> Couldn't pack up my flannel board fast enough- got
> our ass handed to us by the head of house.
> In hindsight I'm glad it happened as one family
> was not so lucky. This particular family divorced
> over the church beliefs, moved to Zion, kids got
> into legal trouble and teen pregnancy, two more
> LDS marriage that went down the tube.They are all
> out now but are counted as actives still.
>
> And to think I was peddling the plan of happiness.

I laugh every time I hear this! Kinda wished it had happened to me- I might not have joined but in all honesty, we had 2 very decent missionaries and we wanted to believe. Still glad we are gone now, though!

My last companion of my last month was a TBM Nazi who had just been promoted to a ZL. I was a trouble maker so I couldn't even be his ZL companion.....I was sentanced to be a normal junior companion to this dude. He tells me he has been doing 100 hour weeks his whole mission and wants me to do 100 hr weeks with him for my last 4 weeks of my mission. I was like "yeah right....no way." So he decides to take care of everything and do all the companion study and appointments and data entry for the zone statistics all by himself. He's up at 4:00 every day for the first week and not in bed after three hours of scripture study (alone) each night. I was wanting to just chill and going nuts with the guy wanting to work so hard all day and night. He finally flipps out at me on p-day because I wont get in the suit and tie for the second half of the day and do missionary stuff. He was from Boston and loved Led Zepplin and had their stickers all over his notebooks and suitcases........so I contacted my neighboor at the apt who I had become friends with and got all his Zepplin tapes (yeah it was that long ago...no CD's). I bring a boom box into the apt blaring Led Zepplin and tell the guy that I am Korihor and he is going to be treated to some anti-christ music for the next three weeks so he can chill out. After casting me out and accusing me of being possessed and full of a bad spirit and seeing my shoulders shrugged reaction the nazi finally starts playing air guitar all over the apt and danced for hours. It was a missionary Rave Party. By the time I was leaving three weeks later he was hooting at chicks from the mission car as we cruised main on saturday nights.

Good times...bad times you know I've had my share...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2012 02:47AM by upsidedown.

Would love to know what he's doing now.

I had a comp who would pray in every prayer that I would become more humble. I really disliked him, told the MP I couldn't handle much more. One day we were at the ZL house for something... pday maybe...and instead of going back to our area he decided we should sleep there. They had no extra beds, a couch, or even sheets or blanket. I slept on a cement floor so I was already pretty pissed in the morning. He them wanted me to get back into a shirt and tie just to go back to our house. I refused. I was going to wear the pday stuff I already had on. I told him he could wear what he wanted but I wasn't changing. He wouldn't let up, I tried to walk away but he just kept following me around the house. He finally backed me into a corner and demanded that I change. I looked at him and yelled, "Get the fuck away from me before I kick your ass." The ZLs came running, my comp start wagging his finger at me, We weren't comps much longer.

I wonder if I am any of my companions "Fanatical Companions."

Sounds like he was in training to become bishop. The one thing the fanaticals all have in common is they want to impose shame on others by using god, or the false assumption of gods power in them. No boundries.