Posted by:
adamisfree2006 (formerly on_my_way_out_2)
(
)
Date: February 22, 2012 02:55PM
The following is a summary of my families journey out of Mormonism...
Timeline
• March/April 2005 - I found myself wondering about the recent changes to the temple ceremony (initiatory). After doing a Google search on temples etc… I became acquainted with the Mormon-Mason connection. This connection created a crack in my “testimony shell.” Fearful that my personal apostasy could ruin my marriage, I spent the next two months silent. I continued to put on my “game face” for my wife and kids.
• May 2005 – After a couple of months of personal struggles, I gently but abruptly broke the news to my BIC, pioneer stock, ultra-TBM wife. She was upset, hurt, concerned, angry, disappointed. The next few months are spent “discussing” my issues with the church. I begin to realize that my “problems” with the church are growing exponentially as I attempt to resolve my questions. DW wants to continue paying tithing and I say yes.
• July/August 2005 – We (wife and I) announce to our 4 children (18, 15, 14, 12) that “Dad has some issues with the early doctrine and history of the church and will be attending only sacrament meeting.” The kids are upset but are reassured by TBM wife that they will continue to attend with Mom. After reading about the “SLC shopping mall” I tell DW that I no longer want tithing paid out of my income. She however, wants to continue paying on her income.
• September 2005 – Ultra-TBM wife announces to me that “she is going to step back from her church attendance, get released from calling, have no contact from RS or visiting teachers and stop wearing garments.” However, she planned to “continue praying and reading the BoM.” She does not tell me much other than she values our marriage and wanted to work on our relationship without interference from the church stress. A few days later I notify our branch president that my wife and I want no contact whatsoever from the church and that we would continue to support our kids with church activities as they feel they wanted to attend. Branch President attempts to get information from me however, I tell him I am not interested or ready to talk with him. Our kids attend church once or twice without us and stop going also.
• November 2005 – I discuss my lack of belief with my parents. Mother joined LDS church at 16 and Father joined in early 20’s when he was dating Mother. They are disappointed and disagree with me, but support me and reaffirm their love for me and my family.
• December 2005 – I ask DW about the tithing she has written out of her checkbook register but not sent into the church. Told her that if she was going to pay it she would need to before the end of the year for tax purposes. She informs me she has decided not to send it to the church. Instead she will be purchasing Christmas gifts for several needy families and donating to some local charities. I am beginning to see some breaks in her “testimony”. During the past 3-4 months we receive no phone calls or visits from members. We are surprised but very happy with the lack of contact.
• January 2006 – I discussed with my wife my intentions to formally resign from TSCC. She indicates she would like to also resign with me. We decide that we will send the letter in on our 20th wedding anniversary in February. Our 4 children decide to resign also. DW calls her pioneer stock, temple working, Utah living, ULTRA-TBM parents about our no longer attending church. They are very upset. FIL reaffirms his desire for our two boys to serve missions. The next day my brother gets a call from my FIL asking for my parent’s phone number. A week later I learn that FIL has called “my parents” inquiring about “my issues” with the church. DW calls FIL about his calls to my family and he apologizes for his behavior.
• February 15, 2006 – Our family sends a signed, notarized letter to SLC indicating our resignation, waiving all time delays.
• February 23, 2006 – We receive a letter from Gregory Dodge acknowledging receipt of our request. He informs us that this is “an ecclesiastical matter that must be handled by local priesthood leaders.”
• March 28, 2006 – We receive letters from our local stake president. He confirms receipt of our written request and indicates that he will “proceed according to Church policies to complete this process.” He then says he will hold until April 29, 2006 before final processing.
• March 29, 2006 – I send letter to both Stake President and Branch president. I indicate my frustration with the timeliness of this process since he (SP) had this for more than 30 days already. I question why there is no “30 day delay” in new convert baptisms.
• Friday March 31, 2006 – Branch President calls and says he got my letter sent to him and SP. He apologizes for SP confusion and says that the “1st presidency has authorized waiving the 30-day delay.” He tells me he had sent out our records late the previous week so we were no longer members as of probably Monday March 27, 2006. I question why SP sent the letter he sent and BP said it was an oversight. I said “so he uses a form letter or he actually typed a 30-day waiting period?” BP just stated it was a miscommunication. I told him thanks for taking care of it and then there was this awkward moment of silence. It was as if he wanted to say something or was hoping I would say something. I again said thanks and hung up.
• April 7, 2006 – Received final letters from Greg Dodge…WE ARE OUT!