Alarm clock rings:

Wife: Good morning dear, did you sleep well?

Husband: I sure did. Say...what do we believe today?

Wife: Well, let me check the internet. Hmm...we no longer believe that we can become gods—but we should try to become like God.

Husband: Really? I’ll have to remember that. What else?

Wife: Well, we don’t know why blacks were denied the priesthood – it’s all a big mystery.

Husband : And yet it took divine revelation to change it – curious. Anything else? Is God still a man living on a planet?

Wife : It says here that could be folklore, but they’re still working on it. Hey, look at this – it says the church is doing away with temple garments. We don’t have to wear them anymore.

Husband: Really??

Wife: No dear, I’m only kidding. But isn’t Mormonism wonderful? It’s a whole new religion every day. You’d better get off to work.

I laughed out loud. This is great.

"We are at war with Eastasia. We've always been at war with Eastasia."

Then shift to....

"We are at war with Eurasia. We've always been at war with Eurasia."

Mormons sound like they are straight out of the novel 1984.

"We are dreadfully persecuted. We have ALWAYS been dreadfully persecuted."

;)