I finally realized why these past few years have been so difficult. There has been no sunshine because i HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO RECOGNIZE IT. There is NO ONE to tell me what to do. Divorcing husband (still find myself falling into old patterns of HIM ORDERING ME "You call so and so and tell them such and such." Then I get a clue and say, "Call them your self, I'm not your secretary!"

Since not attending church, I don't know what to do with my time. When children's father was in the home, we were so entrenched and poor that we would go to the church even on Saturday mornings and let the kids play ball. Once while nursing, sitting on the stage, I knocked away a basket ball just before it creamed the head of my new-born (now that's multi-tasking) and baby never broke the latch-on but kept right on sucking.

Some of our time is taken up with therapies and school activities but we have no real friends. Don't feel sorry about this (OR SORRY FOR US)...it is a REVELATION. A freedom to know what is hapening because now I can change it!

I'm so used to being told what to do and where to go and how to act (don't forget what underwear to wear) that I forgot how to steer my own ship with my precious children inside of it. So, we've been turning in circles. We need some fun! I'm open to all suggestions. Thanks for reading.

I don't know you, but this sounds difficult.

I hope you don't go hard on yourself, and realize that it is ok not to be busy all the time. The LDS lifestyle has a premium on being busy.

How about the park? How about hiking somewhere in the canyons (if you are near some)? I used to take my kids to Bear Lake during the spring (not many people there then) and have a picnic.

Go to movies! Sunday is the best time to go to movies in Utah.

It is fairly simple--we just all forgot how to actually RELAX and stop and smell the roses.

Besides, if you find that a little quiet and rest isn't what you really want, you'll have had the time to think about what you would find fun. So, there's that.

Do whatever feels good. It's as simple as that and a great way to start!

It's spring! It is the traditional time to pack a picnic and go kite flying! It's cheap, it's fun and kids love it.

Otherwise, my cure for everything is to go fishing. Again, cheap and fun. And if you happen to catch something, it puts dinner on the table.

How old are your kids? That might help with ideas.

It started with a cheap old guitar and some home-made instruments so the initial capital outlay was minimal. Once I quit doing the Mormon Hamster Wheel I actually had time to practice and learn. Sunday nights are now Music nights. We jam and sing and jam some more.

I can't tell you how rewarding it is to have my children asking to spend time playing music with me.

It's true! Same here. Filled my time with learning music, and now jam a lot with friends. Could not have learned it all so well with the interference from the church. Interested in music?

Fellow jammer.

Bowling is always fun! Game nights are free and fun, as long as you have a few board and car games. Movie nights can be cheap, just rent a movie from Redbox or Blockbuster and pop your own popcorn.

With Easter coming up, you could set up an egg hunt for the kids, with change or little candies inside plastic eggs.

If you live in Utah, there are groups of ex-mormons that get together for fun on a regular basis. My wife and I have never been social until we connected to these groups. There are ones for singles and married folks.

Old habits are hard to break, so do whatever you feel comfortable with. Make some new friends who can build you up, and help you "steer your own ship".

If you have a community college close by, start taking classes if you have free time...cooking, art, photography classes. Stuff like that

There is always the library - you can relax there and read or the kids can listen to story times with another person. Check out books, movies, music and experiment with subjects you might find interesting or that your kids get excited about.
Our small library has a puzzle out near the reference desk for everyone to participate in fitting pieces. Puzzles are always good family fun.
We would also take hikes/walks as there are fantastic trails around us. Good exercise with lots to observe.
As spring is now really here, I am busy in my gardens - herb, vegetable and flower gardens.
Find what makes you happy, enjoy your time with your kids an on your own.
Good luck...

Take it from an old hand...enjoy whatever tickles your fancy...coffee, an ice cold beer on a hot afternoon, an R rated movie or whatever...you owe an explanation for you choices to no one!

And if a vibrator tickles your fancy, well then...... ;)

Indeed!

Here, will this help. In my most manly commanding voice.

"I order you to be independent, and to start having and recognizing fun on your own."

I will go down.

And, I will return and report.

Thank you for the permission!