Why are mormons so caught up in appearances? I mean, what is the harm in having long hair or beards with men? Ive also heard some people get criticized for wearing anything but a white shirt to church. Doesnt God look on the heart and not the outward appearances of a man? So why does it matter so much?

IMO it's turned into a system that they use to make instant judgement on others. It has nothing to do with God, and everything to do with status or the clique you are in.

One example from several years ago still makes me mad. I've worn a beard on and off since I was old enough to grow one. One summer was getting kind of hot so I shaved the beard just to be more comfortable. That Sunday in church the little, old, ward busy body lady pulled me asside and thanked me for shaving. She said she just didn't like beards and I looked much better and more righteous clean shaven.

Yeah, I started growing it back that second.

It was the attitude of the lady that really pissed me off. She felt entitled to tell me what was what as far as my personal grooming was concerned. I never did like that old bitch. Even as a TBM we referred to her as Mrs. Cravitz. (bewitched reference for those old enough to remember it)

I wrote this parody a few years ago, and I've been surprised at how many TBMs have reposted it and taken it as real. I've seen threads on Mormon message boards urging people to heed Monson's counsel and get shirts with buttoned collars. This suggests to me that the church fosters an obsession with outward appearance such that it doesn't seem unreasonable for church leaders to dictate what kinds of shirt collars are appropriate.

Don't believe me? Try sending this to a TBM and asking them if they've heard about this. You may be surprised by the response.

Monson Calls for Modesty, Buttoned Collars

Rexburg, Idaho — Speaking to students at Brigham Young University, Idaho, LDS church president Thomas S. Monson emphasized the need for modesty and spiritual cleanliness, two virtues he said had nearly been lost in today’s so-called modern world.

Citing the poet A. Egbert Doggerel, Monson stated, “Truer words were never spoken than these:

“It matters not if I’m hale and keen
If my heart and soul remain unclean!”

The prophet spoke of his dismay at lax dress standards among some members of the church. “I am certain that our dear Heavenly Father looks down upon his children with perhaps a glint of tear in His eye, as He sees so many disregarding the prophetic counsel against slovenly and immodest dress.”

He reminded those in attendance of the inspired counsel of President Gordon B. Hinckley in pleading with the fair daughters of Zion to display only one earring on each ear. “Somwhere in the heavens, President Hinckley is smiling in the knowledge that so many have taken his words to heart.” But, President Monson intoned gravely, “There is much room for improvement, particularly among you priesthood holders. Are you living up to the Oath and Covenant of the priesthood? Are you conducting yourself with the modesty and dignity that befits someone with your holy calling?”

He then spoke of a troubling trend among the brethren of the church. “I have spent many nights on my knees, praying for guidance as to how I can help the brethren overcome a serious problem. I speak, of course, of the unkempt and often askew collars of our dress shirts. Many are the times when I’ve sat on the stand in a priesthood meeting and found my spirit troubled by crooked collars. Often the collar doesn’t even cover the tie wrapped around the neck. And, difficult as it may be to believe, some brethren cannot even be troubled to button the top button of their shirts. Surely the Spirit is grieved when the brethren of the Holy Priesthood take such a casual attitude toward their responsibilities.”

The prophet spoke of the great promise in the Book of Revelation: “He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels” (Rev. 3:5). “Brethren, do you imagine that you will be able to stand in the presence of the Lord with a crooked collar or slovenly tie?”

In His wisdom, the prophet said, the Lord has provided a way for His sons to reach their full potential: buttoned-down collars. “It is but a small thing the Lord requires: merely two buttons, one on each side of the collar. Keeping them buttoned will ensure that you are neat and clean both inwardly and outwardly. My beloved brethren, I plead with all the force of a loving heart that you will return to your homes and make immediate and prayerful changes to your wardrobe.”

President Monson said that he had been inspired by a visit to a ward in McDermott, Nevada. “Here were the brethren arrayed as mighty warriors, all with buttoned-down collars, all neat and inspiring. Hearts were gladdened, spirits were lifted, and collars were straightened.”

Student reaction was immediate. “I went home and threw out all my old, unworthy white shirts,” said Gareth Jensen, a junior from Tempe, Arizona. “I have decided to choose the right, and if that means buying buttoned-collared shirts, I will not shirk.”

Tyler Roarke of Redding, California, expressed his desire to follow the prophet with “exactness”: “The prophet said we should get buttons on either side of the collar, but when I got my new shirts home, I noticed they had a third button in the back of the collar. I’m a little worried that I may be looking beyond the mark.”

Apostle David Bednar hailed the response of the students. “These young men and women know what is important in life, and they are a shining example to the world. One young woman I spoke with broke off her engagement because the young man said he didn’t know what the big deal was about buttoned-down collars. I’m sure she will be glad for the eternities that she saw the true measure of his faithfulness before she became unequally yoked with him.”

I guess what I really want to know is if I walked up to one of them and said,

"Please tell me why modesty and looking clean cut is important if God does not look on outward appearances?" what would they say?

I remember receiving the response "Because people of the world judge you by what you look like. How can we spread the gospel if people are afraid to talk to us if we are scary looking?"

What do you guys think of this response?

It's a control mechanism ... no other reason to force people to wear certain underwear, have the same grooming style, and so forth. In Mormondom you must forgo your individuality to become 'one with God'.

I've been reading "The Rape of the Mind"; the author's description of the "Totalitaria" matches the LDS environment in lots of ways. http://www.whale.to/c/rape_of_the_mind.html

Btw, great post runtu.

runtu, do you have a link where i can find that speech? I would like to add it to my collection.

The word that comes to mind here is "shallow". Judge people by how they look. Fix what shows. Don't think any more deeply than that.

Conformity to the world's image of success is the image they go for. White shirts, ties, short hair, clean cut. It gives a professional persona and probably along with it breeds success and higher tithing payments.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2012 04:44PM by suckafoo.

For people who obsess as much as they do about how they appear, Mormons are SUPREMELY clueless about how they are actually appearing. Look how Mitt Romney has been described as plastic, fake, weird. Someone recently described Mormons in Utah as looking flat, dead, glassy-eyed. Mormon women are not known at all for having any style. Mormon men are often described as effeminate.

In other words, they don't usually create a good impression with their focus on appearing happy and wholesome. The ones who do create a good impression are the ones brave enough to deviate from the programmed image and display a little original personality. Real people have variety, emotion, unique qualities and the Mormon emphasis - not just on appearance but on one true appearance - ends up backfiring on them.

Great post. My husband was talked to by the bishop several times for wearing a colored dress shirt.

-S