Salt Lake City, UT, 4/19/2012

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=960&sid=20063526&s_cid=popular-4

The LDS Conference Center in Salt Lake City suffered from a self-abuse problem earlier this week.

The Conference Center contains a "little factory" to manufacture electrical power if it is needed at the appropriate time. This was put there by the creator of the Conference Center with wisdom in preparing for a possible power outage. This wise design was intended to be used only with a congregation in the center that has been properly invited by those in authority, and only during a power outage. However this "little factory" was stimulated into production BEFORE it was appropriate and it was done in an inappropriate way.

The Conference Center suffered from this inappropriate and unwise stimulation of it's "little factory" when high-energy excitement (that should have been kept in it's place by singing a hymn) was allowed to run rampant through the system.

The excess of energy that resulted by the unwise stimulation triggered fluids to flow in an inappropriate way which was contrary to the design of the creator of the conference center. The damage caused has reached half a million dollars--a stark and somber warning against the dangers of self abuse.

Authorities are considering changes to avoid this problem in the future. One plan calls for excess insulation around the offending electrodes. If that is not sufficient to eliminate the problem, grounding one of the electrodes to a bed post might be necessary.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2012 01:53AM by baura.

But the Phallic symbol (the podium) was spared!

Shameless self topping

If you 'need' some more Shame, spend a few more years with ChurchCo.


Don't report back before at least 2 years has past.
JK

I hope they can overcome their little morality problem. I'm sure they can do it if they pay more tithing and read the scriptures.

That one-liner you were thinking is way too over-the-line for the sub...

What? People wanna know? Think hot-and-bothered and wet...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2012 07:36PM by SL Cabbie.

I think a personal interview with Boyd K. Packer is in order here.