When I was working in the LA temple...I observed an angry wife arguing with her husband exiting the celestrial room

Once when I was in the MTC, we were going up the escalator in the Provo temple, and one of the missionaries got his slipper stuck in the escalator, and it pulled so tight he couldn't get his foot out. So, I knelt down and yanked it out. At the top of the escalator, we handed a shredded, blackened slipper to the old lady and said, "Can we get another slipper?"

One of my friends once texted me from his spot in an endowment. He and his wife were the witness couple. He had gone only because his wife pushed him because her family wanted to all go together, even though he was an apostate by then.

Another friend of mine was in a bishopric when he left the church. A week later the RS president and her husband left the church. They still had their recommends, so my friend met this woman in the temple parking lot, shared a bottle of whiskey, and did a session drunk.

My grandmother, who was a regular temple worker, once told me about those loud-squealing ancient escalators in the Provo Temple. If I'm not mistaken, that temple was built in the 1970's (the exterior sure looks like it!), but her story, which I can only vaguely remember nowadays, made it sound as though those escalators were much older than that.

Now I seem to remember some of the specifics of her story: that the escalators had to be stopped for endowments and such because the noise they were making were too loud and distractive.

Apparently, temple escalators are one thing about the temple that CAN be talked about freely to the outside world.

Was the temple built with inexplicable stair holes with no stairs and a pit at the bottom that later held the newly invented escalator?

Honestly, I have no clue. In fact, I don't even know WHEN the escalator was invented! But like I said, I'm certain the Provo temple (and its twin in Downtown Ogden) was built in the seventies (the decade, not the quorum).

Unfortunately, I cannot ask my grandmother to retell her escalator story to me because she died just over a year ago. Even if she was still alive, I doubt she would even remember that particular conversation, as my Mormon family seems to have selective memory.

If anyone here is familiar with the Provo Temple and its history, I would be interested in more details concerning its antiquated escalators.

Escalators are real old technology. I believe they were common in places like New York and Chicago, before the Second World War. If the story is true, then the church probably bought a second hand escalator to put in its temple.

Charlie Chaplin had tons of fun on an escalator in The Floorwalker around 1916. It was common enough then to be part of the set of a department store.

Thank you. I was basing my assessment on old period movies, and the 1940s is about as far back as I really go on those, though I wasn't born until the tail end of the Carter Administration.

There was the time I had to use the restroom before a baptism session, and got a bit of splash back, that was very noticeable on the white pants. It looked like I wet myself, and the stupid temple worker wouldn't let me trade out jumpsuits.

oh, how funny...makes me want to become TBM just to experience it" off kilter"...and see how much I can get away with

Do you mean besides the fact that my DH and I seemed to always be the last to put our special ceremonial clothing on?!

When I was a missionary there was a really, really sexy sister missionary from Park City...she was perfect in every way.

Our district was given permission to attend the temple one P-Day and the temple workers asked us to do sealings. I knelt across the altar and held this sister's hand while we were married for dead people 30 times (this was in a foreign country. I've never done more than 10 at a time in the States).

I was glad to be wearing the temple robes, because I'm quite sure my pants would not have concealed the erection I was sporting.

I know it's dorky...but give me a break, I hadn't touched a girl like that for over a year.

Omg! You crack me up! Awesome story lol

Gives a whole new meaning to the hymnals, "Gently Raise the Sacred Strain" or "Let Zion in her beauty Rise." Don't feel bad, even Joseph's Myth had a flaming sword. See there is power in the penishood afterall.

I have a whole collection of strange, funny, weird, odd experiences in the temple
It was the oddest place! I never knew what was going to happen next.

The temple is probably the most peculiar of all Mormon experiences and I have had several really strange, funny and horrible experiences while attending. They began the day I was married and never quit.

Just something simple like women stepping on the short train of my wedding gown while going from room to room, stopping me in my tracks, ruining my gown and nearly tearing it off me, and then losing track of my disabled mother were very unsettling and nerve racking the first time I attended the temple.

Then there was a big discussion about the shoes I brought. They had a teeny-tiny heal was accepted, rejected, accepted, rejected and finally accepted! They sent me back and forth finally letting me wear them.

Second time going to the temple, less than a year later.....

No one explained to me that my husband would not be taking me through the "veil" at the end of the session (with the five points of fellowship, which I found totally inappropriate) on subsequent visits. So, when I went to the temple the second time, I waited and waited and wouldn't leave my seat because I was waiting to be taken to my husband! I couldn't figure out what was going on with people getting up and going out in rows. What was I supposed to do? So, I stayed put.

A temple worker approached me an I explained my dilemma to her, she first tried to show me who was behind the veil and assured me it would be okay.

Well... naturally, I assumed it was going to be my husband, instead, it was a huge South Pacific man (Samoan?) standing there grinning.

That did it! I started to cry. I couldn't understand what had happened to my husband and who was that man??? She thought I was prejudiced and tried to assure me that he was okay, lost her patience and fussed at me about not going through the veil.

But, I refused to leave my seat! When I continued to refuse to up to the veil and do the five points of fellowship with that strange man, , another patron chastised me for "making a scene" stomped off in a huff. I sat there and cried.

Finally, when I wouldn't budge and was holding up the session, someone asked me for my husbands name and went and got him so he could do the "officiating" at the veil! That experience left me so shaken that I refused to go for a year. But, then I relented and went again!

It never occurred to anyone that it would be a good idea to let people know they would be acting out death oaths in the temple either. Another example of no full disclosure. I was only 21 years old at the time and would like to have known ahead of time about that little part of the ritual. The only thing that kept me from being terrorized was the HOPE that they were figurative, and I was in such a state of surprise and shock over the whole temple experience, I couldn't remember what it was I was not to divulge anyhow. :-)

SLC Temple:

On one visit to the Salt Lake City Temple, we were waiting in the chapel for the rest of our group of friends when I saw them in another area. I got up and left the chapel to tell them where we were. When I returned, a male temple worker stopped me by put his hands out completely blocking the isle and said I couldn't go through the session because I had left my place and the session was closed. He continued to stand there and block my passage. No amount of explaining that my husband was still there and I left for a minute would budge him from his position.

I saw my bewildered husband at the back of the room, and noticing another door, left and came in the back door and joined my husband and friends. Then I tried to get out without the temple worker seeing me. I was sure he was going to grab me and refuse to let me by again. But, I guess he forgot because he didn't even notice when I walked by him.

Another strange experience:

One of the most disturbing things happened as I came out of the washing and anointing area, clothed in that silly tunic wrapped shut over my long temple garments. I was in a new, unfamiliar new temple (I forget which one), when I had gotten turned around and lost my way. I walked past several temple workers standing at their posts and walked in the wrong direction and opened the door to the big waiting room with people in their street clothes.

Fortunately, one of the workers woke up as I opened the door and stopped me before I walked out there. I can still see the bewildered looks on the faces of that crowd!:-)

LA Temple:

Another time, while waiting for my party to leave, I was approached by a temple worker who, completely out of the blue, grasped my hand in a death grip after the session and asked if I had done the temple work for all of my family. When I mentioned that I did not know who my father was, he told me that I would never be able to enter the Celestial Kingdom, etc., etc., until I "forgave him."

Well, I tried to explain that I didn't even know my father and had nothing to forgive, however, this information fell on deaf ears and he proceeded with his mission of instructing me, all the while continuing to hold fast onto my hand with both of his. Fortunately, a male friend in our party got him to release his grip and got me away from him. That was just too weird! I never did figure out why he grabbed me, a total stranger and went on a tirade. Senile maybe?

Remember the female workers with their little pockets full of emergency supplies? I got a chewable vitamin C one time when I was having an allergy attack.

This one I won't forget!

Sometimes a little humor lightens the mood of a dull, repetitive temple session.

Many years ago, I attended the temple with a group from our Ward. One of the ladies was a very small spry (probably about 80 yr old) widow, who had recently lost her large built 90+ year old husband

She arrived with us at the temple , carrying her matching suitcase with the temple garb. Remember those!?

When she opened it, she realized she had her deceased husbands suitcase!
Laughingly, she remarked that she probably gave them the wrong suitcase for her husband's burial, and she wondered if he was buried in her temple clothes. (Not likely as those are different - but she probably didn't know that.)

Not to be deterred, she put on his one piece men's garments! She didn't have quite enough clothes in her size, so one of the matrons brought some for her.

The three of us women, who knew what happened could barely keep our faces straight through the session knowing she was wearing her deceased husbands, very large, men's garments, which she later remarked were more comfortable than her own!

I remember those sashes and especially how much trouble some of the "old geezers" had keeping them in the right place. When he pulled on it it went whosh... came completely out!

It was not uncommon for the whole temple session to be held up while someone helped the guy re-thread his string into his robe! :-) The solution was so simple. Sew them in!
But NO .... that didn't happen!


Then there was the time the pregnant woman threw up on me in the session! YUP! She did! GAG! It was awful! We were standing up for some part of the session, and she said that she was going to be sick! Well, I should have believed her and moved away. That was the only warning I got. Splat! I got it full force. Why do pregnant women who throw up a lot feel they have to go to the temple in the first place?

She was more upset by my comment of "OH MY GOD" when it happened than the fact that she completely ruined my temple clothes for the rest of the session. I had to stay there and finish. There is NO leaving. Well, I guess she got to leave, but not me! I just got a Kleenex from one of the female temple workers.

Where else can you go to a temple and watch a movie with God and his son/savior--Jesus with white curly hair, bare foot, standing in the air in white robes, dressed and coiffed exactly the same! That is why I like deities! Human beings create the most fascinating, unique deities!

I don't know about anyone else, but I was one surprised temple attendee the first time I saw the Elohiem and Jehovah in the temple movie. I couldn't believe my eyes, or the bold audacity. Actors playing the roles? SAY WHAT? What happened to just the voice of God. Wasn't that good enough? I guess not. We needed a visual!

And we won't go into the lines that are supposed to be too sacred to repeat that sound dirty like " we will go down," uttered by the apostles; Peter, James and John. Gordon Jump, the Maytag Man as an apostle was a little hard to get used to!

Holy Crud! LMAO! You just got a free pass--i'm not going to get upset (for a while) at your normally way too positive posts! ;)

It always used to amuse me at the beginning of a session the lecturer would say "please be alert, attentive & reverent during the presentation of the endowment ......."
Then seconds later as soon as the lights went down you'd hear everybody snorring!

new brides would " dress" completely with garmies and all, then undress and toss the garmies in the trash to dress for pics outside the temple and the wedding night..

temple workers would find them in the trash at the end of the day

My brother needs to urinate frequently, and this led to a phobia of causing a scene by needing to run out of an endowment session to pee. He got something called a "stadium buddy", which basically a condom with a nipple on the end attached to a hose that drains into a bag around you calf. He was getting dressed into his white clothes in a stall in the dressing room. He was totally naked trying to put this thing on, and the condom part dropped and rolled under the door into the aisle. He panicked. By the time he got out there to pick it up who knows how many people saw it. They probably wondered why someone would have a condom in the temple. Just imaging you are going through the temple for your first time and you see a condom drop on the floor: "Oh, my! Those stories about sex in the temple are true!"

TSCC/Temple sure doesn't leave room for " special needs" of any sort...does it?

I feel sorry for your bro, but it is kind of funny too.

Looking at my Superman watch through the endowment and laughing inside!

When I was a young teen in 1960 or '61, I was doing a dead dunking session at the Cardston, AB temple. We kinda got carried away and had a water fight until one of the Poobahs came in and gave us $hit and told us to stick with the program....that was the last time I was in a temple....

This thread jogged a memory that I probably haven’t had since the time it happened. At the time, it didn’t seem odd, now it does.

I was doing washing and anointing’s, and the officiator was BYU great Lakei Heimuli’s father. At the time, I thought something like, “Oh, cool.” But now I’m thinking, how did it come up at all? No other time in the temple did an officiator name drop who they were related to, how did he work that in?

I would totally like to make love using the Temple " talk"...I really like that " we will go down" talk...

Talk dirty to me;)...where is xyz when we need him/her?

"We will go down."

HAHAHA

My friends mom had a horrible experience in the temple. She had just been recently baptized and was going to the temple for the first time. This probably would have been in the 70s before they took out the "Penalties." She was so horrified and shooken up that she fell into a severe depression which apparently she never really recovered from. She spent a large portion of her children's lives confined to her bed. It is pretty obvious that she was already a little off her rocker but the temple is what sent her spiraling.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2012 11:57PM by turnonthelights.

Holy Shi'ite!

Who would have ever thought the Temple could cause PTSD!?

penalties?

I went to do baptisms for the dead when i was about 13. i has started my monthly cycle and asked one of the leaders for protection. she gave me something but then she went to ask someone if i could still to the baptisms. the answer was no. so i had to sit off on the side while all the other girls did the baptisms and everyone knew why

My favourite [humourous] temple moment occurred in the Cardston Alberta Temple in 1966. They still did the live presentation back then, and Satan fell asleep in his little cubicle ... Peter [or James, or John] had to go and wake him up, and he was quite 'out of it' when he recommenced the little play.

My friend attended her first session in a large temple. She knew there was a cafeteria there, as that was where they would eat later. She was in the elevator to go to her endowment and inside was a little old man in a green apron and a chef hat. She was so delighted that the temple chef was in the elevator - wasn't he just the cutest thing! Once she got into her session, she realized that all men are the temple's chef....

goatsgotohell Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My friend attended her first session in a large
> temple. She knew there was a cafeteria there, as
> that was where they would eat later. She was in
> the elevator to go to her endowment and inside was
> a little old man in a green apron and a chef hat.
> She was so delighted that the temple chef was in
> the elevator - wasn't he just the cutest thing!
> Once she got into her session, she realized that
> all men are the temple's chef....


LOL...:)

I was recently divorced, leading the music, in a chapel session before the regular session. The temple pres wanted my husband to sit on the stand with me. When I told him I was single, he went to the microphone and asked if there were any single men to sit with and take me to dinner after.

There were only 2 single guys there; one was the ward gay guy and the other was a bachelor, much younger than I.

Embarrassing for everybody.

I gave the wrong name at the veil once. My helper freaked. The " lord" did not even notice. I had to do it again.

Another time me and another brother had a contest to see who could do more confirmations per Dunkee. We screwed up their numbers for the whole day. ( we did about 150 in 20 minutes)

Never went, but my most memorable temple-related incident dates from my working days.

My trainee & I were dispatched on a family fight call involving a couple just home from the temple.
Whatever it was they were doing there involved them going through separate sessions that had slightly different ending times.
The wife got through hers first, and when the husband finished his she was not where he thought she was supposed to meet him.

When he finally did find her, the spirit of the occasion moved him to begin an on-going cat & dog fight that continued all the way home and for some time at home, and resulted in a phone call to the police.

When we arrived, both were standing outside calmly, we were calmly invited into the house, the husband calmly said "You ain't takin' me", walked into a back bedroom before we could get any closer, and calmly came out at me with a machete in his hand a couple seconds later.

After a little scuffle, on the way to jail he told us "I know you guys carry .45s, I was in the army and I knew you don't survive a .45."

I still have the machete (asked the prosecutor's office to release it to me), along with a deep and abiding respect for the residual effects of the holy ordinances performed in that temple that led the guy to go home and call the cops to come & kill him.

Not really funny or cool, but memorable. :)

wow! nuts!

"What is wanted?"
"I need to go to the toilet now.." (said loudly)
Giggles heard behind the veil.

the mention of a " peter" saying " we will go down"...is too funny...

As a ex temple worker...most of the " mistakes" happen at the veil...

The " Lords" not remembering their lines...showing up at a " closed" veil space...

Wrong " grips"....it is always the " Lords" fault...

This didn't happen inside the temple but is very temple related. During my mission I was at a testimony meeting when one of the (extremely) elderly missionaries got up and started reciting the temple ceremony word for word. He was pretty good at it.

Something more humorous occurred at BYU during one of my English classes. The professor decided to buy the whole class pizza. When the delivery came there was a knock at the door. The prof said, "What is wanted?" I think I was only returned missionary in class so nobody else got the joke.

for cameras. It was in 1976, those juicy cut throat oath times.
It was Swiss Temple. The FatAss bouncer irritated hell out of me.
I started flipping language buttons during the session, Swedish, Norvegian, English, Deutsch.