Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: May 23, 2012 05:23AM
Heard about how only those in the CK will be keeping their sex organs.

Those in the two lower kingdoms of heaven won't need them so their lower bodies will look like they are Barbie or Ken dolls.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,508469,509996#msg-509996

I will be a Smoothie! I promise to wear my Smoothieness with Pride. Maybe some of us exmos can hook up in the Great Hereafter Lounge for Smoothie-3-Ways or even Smoothie-Orgies. :-)

You?

Bonus: Smoothies will not have to be concerned with sexual orientation!

Smoothies will not have to worry about birth control! They/We can bump smoothies with other Smoothies with impunity!

does that mean I finally get to wear those satin wraparounds and sparkly thongs *outside* the house?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2012 05:11AM by EssexExMo.

HAHAHAHAHA Why wait? --- Be a Smoothie now here on Earth

http://www.amazon.com/BodyZone-Apparel-Comfort-V-Thong/dp/B003TJOCOO/ref=pd_sbs_a_4

Celestial Genitalia
No sex parts unless you make it to the celestial kingdom (unless you were black, then you can be a slave with sex parts)

“In both of these kingdoms [i.e., the terrestrial and telestial] there will be changes in the bodies and limitations. They will not have the power of increase, neither the power or nature to live as husbands and wives, for this will be denied them and they cannot increase. Those who receive the exaltation in the celestial kingdom will have the “continuation of the seeds forever.” They will live in the family relationship. In the terrestrial and in the telestial kingdoms there will be no marriage. Those who enter there will remain “separately and singly” forever. Some of the functions in the celestial body will not appear in the terrestrial body, neither in the telestial body, and the power of procreation will be removed. I take it that men and women will, in these kingdoms, be just what the so-called Christian world expects us all to be – neither man nor woman, merely immortal beings having received the resurrection.
(Doctrines of Salvation. vol. 2, pg. 287-288.)”


Please note that this is “Doctrine”. This was written edited and published for the mormon masses and called "Doctrine of Salvation". To me it is an impossibilty that it cannot be "doctrine".

(unless of course, he was writing, editing and publishing, as a man)

Yeah, no, JF Smith's ravings were not considered to be official church doctrine. So yeah, he was just writing as a man.

But this is not to say that his ravings weren't accepted as eternal doctrine by the Mo masses. They were. After all, didn't de Lawd endorse his ravings by making him live long enough to become the holy prophet? :)

'Course, nowadays de Lawd has changed his holy mind about many of the "doctrines" which he inspired JF Smith to record in his sacred scriptural "writings". So this doctrine can go away just as easily.

And besides, it's not essential to our salvation, after all.

Never mind that a 'prophet' proclaimed it from the pulpit of the tabernacle while thumping his fist on the faux-oak podium and ending his utterance with 'thus saith the lard'.....IT IS NOT OFFICIAL....

IT'S NOT

IT'S NOT

IT'S NOT

The whole "not a hair of the head shall be lost" thing apparently doesn't apply below the waist.

Do males have larger smoothies than females? Like a slight smoothie bulge?

oh rfm, thank you for the laughs and the ammunition against the cult. :D Love yall



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2012 12:24AM by southern.

My first exposure to "smoothie" theory was announced by a son-in-law. I thought he had to be joking given his smirky argument that it was true. It appears that he is much dumber than I had thought.

Scriptural basis for the doctrine?

"And the rough places shall be made smooth "

Lawlz!

I'd like to be the Capo di tutti capi of the dildo mafia in Mo smoothie kingdom. Big money Vern, know wut ah mean? ;)

Funny, but Joe Smith once said that the telestial kingdom is so wonderful, that if his followers could simply see it, they would kill themselves to get there faster. So, how does that fit, exactly, with the smooth genitalia theory of JF Smith?

I doubt very much if I would kill myself to get to a place where I was neutered. No matter how amazing the rainbows might be!

ROTFLMFAO!!!

Only a man would think that no more menstrual periods is some sort of punishment. lol

Will those terrestrial and telestial folks be able to tell whether a male smoothie is cut or uncut?

Joshua 24:15: "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Me: "Well, as Elohim himself seems pretty evil, and his fanatic servants pompous arrogant *sses: as for me and my house, we shall choose, in the hereafter, to become fine obsidian pieces which some troglodyte on that planet shall pick up and make useful tools for himself."

Is a primitive hammer or knife smooth enough? Seems it would be something very desirable, instead of this human construction with such horrible defects. With or without genitals.