Its been 2 years since i left the church and i am still struggling with anger and a lot of guilt. Things like wearing sleeveless dresses and drinking tea make me feel like a harlot and a sinner, and i shoudln't feel like this. For those of you who have been out longer than me, does it get better with time?

I saw a therapist for a few years, though my issues were not related to the church. It was a lifesaver, especially when combined with appropriate psychoactive drugs. I was very depressed and anxious at the time and had trouble functioning.

If you think you need someone objective to talk to, therapy can be very helpful... as long as you find the right therapist.

I've been out 17 years. I honestly don't even think about things like sleeveless dresses or drinking tea. There was a while when I thought about it a lot, when having a glass of wine or sleeping in on a Sunday gave me kind of a rebel thrill. I still thought those things mattered, back then. And that I was dooming myself to hell. I didn't really care.

Now I don't believe in hell. I try to live a good life and be a good person. I don't think a glass of wine makes me a bad person.

You may benefit from therepy, you may not. It wouldn't hurt to try.

I've seen two different therapists -- one helped one didn't. The one that helped had me work through a book on adult children of dysfunctional families. At first, I resisted because I didn't consider my family of origin to be dysfunctional. As I was driving to an appointment one day, I had an epiphany --

My dysfunctional family is the LDS Church.

I spent most of that appointment explaining to the therapist (a lapsed Catholic) how each of the points defining a dysfunctional family applied to the LDS Church.

That helped me more than anything else.

What book is that?

almostThere Wrote:
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> What book is that?

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-The-Child-Within-Dysfunctional/dp/0932194400/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1338395732&sr=8-5

Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families by Whitfield.

The right therapist can do wonders. Or maybe asking yourself why you feel guilty and why to that answer and so on. You might get to the source of the problem. Depending on your Mormon experience, there is a lot unwinding that needs to occur in your mind. The concept of jurisdiction was my problem. Things like baptism, temple experience, all the little things and notions that got in my head growing up caused me to feel under the jurisdiction of the lds executive power, legislative rule, and court or judicial structures. It took a lot for me to understand or conceptualize that I am my own human being. And the lds entity is just a 503(c) organization. This is painful to write, because it is so obvious now.

I hope you can find what you need to alleviate and over come the anger and guilt. My therapist told me when I was describing this jurisdiction problem was that I was still in a place of fear with the church. Conscientiously recognizing there is no reason to fear it, helped me get beyond it as much as I can recognize now. I hope it will continue to improve, and in years to come, it all fades more and more.

Sometimes you need an objective opinion and an empathetic ear.

Think of hiring a therapist as an interview; You're trying to find the right person who can help you out.

But yes, therapy has been VERY helpful for me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 12:57PM by Raptor Jesus.

It sounds to me like you need some non-mo friends. If one is a therapist, all the better. Being around people who don't see anything wrong with these behaviors goes a long way in helping you not feel they're wrong.

I am in the salt lake area, who is the therapist?

Chris Robertson, LCSW

http://www.cttslc.com/

Please do tell. I'm looking for a good therapist right now who is NOT LDS.

I had hypnotherapy and it helped to diffuse the anger and emotions.
The hypnotherapist had a treatment for trauma.
He had me name my traumatic emotion. Then name an emotion I'd like to feel.
When he brought up my subconscious he connected with the anger and he replaced the anger with my other desired emotion. I still have a sense of the entire problem behind my anger, but it's not as overwhelming and I've stopped going to food as an outlet for escape from my anger.

I have found that both counseling and medication has helped me a lot. I see a counselor once a month and I am lucky to have a psychiatrist who was gentile born and raised in Salt Lake so she really understands where I am coming from in regard to my disaffection with correlation.

I love that I am receiving therapy on my med insurance, and I love my therapist.

At our sessions, I get to say anything I want. The therapist just asks me enough questions to keep me talking. As a silent sufferer of Asperger's all my life, this time to talk to someone without conditions are fear of consequences is precious to me. I can say ANYTHING AT ALL without worrying that the other person will take it the wrong way or get pissed at me. This is very cool for me.

I have grown tremendously because of this therapy. I've figured out so much that has heretofore eluded me. And the understanding has brought much peace to my heart.

Furthur!

For me, therapy along with medication temporarily was a life saver as it helped me escape an abusive marriage. I actually continued the therapy after I was able to get off the antidepressant, and in the end, it's been 9 years since I needed any medication. One thing with therapy is that it helped me see what led me to get involved with someone who was emotionally abusive, and to avoid making that mistake again.

It was a good thing that my therapist wasn't LDS at all, as what was said in her office stayed there since there was nothing that had to be reported under mandatory reporting laws.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 9 and it caused a great deal of confusion in my life. Therapy fixed a lot of that for me. I'm a firm believer it can help ANYONE, no matter what the situation, if they find the right person and feel they can open up, be honest with themselves, and take control of it.

I really hope you can find what you're looking for there! Good luck! :)

It all depends on the therapist. It all depends on the therapist. Oh, did I already say that?

It's like anything else. A few are brilliant. Quite a few are good and quite a few don't know what they are doing.

I have way too much first hand experience, but have a friend who had his life turned around after finally finding the right one on the third try.

Therapy was helpful. I was leaving the church and leaving my husband and coming out gay. A lot to deal with all at once. Eight sessions was all it took. A non mo therapist... Totally objective. I probably could have used a few more follow up sessions, but I'm a pretty stable person so it worked very well.

YES! Therapy rocks. My first therapist (just retired) was a lesbian ex-nun, so she knew just how to help me deal with my coming out *and* separation issues. My new therapist has been great at helping me through my second adolescence... really helping me regain confidence and learn to love things about myself (sex, affection for men, etc.) that I was taught to fear and hate my whole life. Do it!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 07:45PM by Inverso.

Therapy has been very good for me. I would recommend it, definitely.