http://community.babycenter.com/post/a33885997/support_only_say_you_go_to_church...

Interesting Babycenter thread. This lady has had issues with her ward and apparently someone called CPS on her. CPS came and determined there was a minor problem that needed to be fixed. Now she doesn't feel comfortable going to church because she feels awkward and people are gossiping. I can't say I blame her for how she feels. I wouldn't want to go to church either under those circumstances.

I did think it was interesting, though, that someone pointed out that if there was a "minor problem" that needed fixing, the call to CPS wasn't unwarranted. And that true and logical response was considered "rude".

I have an MSW and was once offered a job working for CPS. I turned it down for many reasons. I don't have kids and always wanted them, but I can only imagine how scary it must be to have CPS come calling, even when there is a problem that needs to be fixed. Talk about feeling intruded upon. I wouldn't feel comfortable being around someone who called CPS on me, even though I understand logically that our society does need CPS to protect those kids who are in abusive situations.

I understand why the woman would be reluctant to go back to church. I am a bit confused about the "minor problem." CPS is usually so overworked they don't bother with problems unless they have the potential to cause some real harm. Perhaps what was reported was more serious than what was actually found.

From what I have seen, working for CPS is highly stressful, particularly for those workers who have to remove kids from the home. I have interacted with them over the years in the course of my work and I wouldn't want their jobs. Nor would I want to be the recipient of their services. It usually means you've gotten into a pretty bad place.

I was offered a job working for CPS in Washington, DC right after I got my MSW. I chose not to take the job because I knew it would be extraordinarily stressful, dangerous, and depressing. No one looks at a CPS worker as a hero, even if a child really needs to be removed from a home. The child wants to stay with the people they know. The parents don't see a CPS worker as helpful when they stop by to check up on them, even if the abuse allegations are unfounded. Society doesn't appreciate CPS workers. They either complain that they are too heavy handed, or they complain when a child slips through the cracks and ends up injured or dead.

At the time the job offer was extended, DC Child and Family Services had only just gotten their autonomy back. Apparently, there were so many problems that the local government temporarily took over the agency. My husband also didn't want me to work for CPS because besides the fact that the job was potentially dangerous, we also lived far away and I would have had an extremely long commute.

Anyway, back to the original premise of the thread... The call probably had to do with neglect...

I think CPS responds to all calls, just in case there is some validity to them. I imagine in some cases, there isn't - but in many, there is.

Davey Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think CPS responds to all calls, just in case
> there is some validity to them. I imagine in some
> cases, there isn't - but in many, there is.

No they don't. I had to call CPS once because of the nature of a potential problem with a student and another students parent. Involving "love."

I called and the lady told me to call back when I had something important. I had not thought of pedophelia as being unimportant.

CPS response or lack thereof has a lot to do with where you live and how overworked/understaffed they are. Also, not all CPS workers are necessarily social workers. "Social worker" is not a catch all term for those who do child welfare work. I think CPS quality varies widely...Sometimes, they are super responsive and sometimes they're not.

A few years ago, a well-regarded retired social worker/child welfare worker from a county close to where I grew up turned out to be a pedophile with murderous impulses. Thankfully, he didn't end up killing anyone, but he did commit arson and rape. He'll be in prison until he dies.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2012 09:51PM by knotheadusc.

Ward members (a.k.a. other snakes in the snake-pit) have no problem pointing their forked tongues in the direction of others and hissing and spitting at whatever little thing is out of the ordinary. Problems arise when the behavior is turned back on one of those who usually points and hisses. They like to dish it out, but they can't take it.

What goes around comes around. Especially in a Mormon Ward.

I've seen more than one Mormon family whose children should have been removed, but when everyone else in the neighborhood is Mormon and in the same boat, to where should they be removed? Mormons are historically anti-government-interference, and historically more apt to reject professional advice in lieu of "priesthood leadership," so how are things supposed to change? Hence, I think, the OP's observation that the babycenter woman considered CPS interference to be "rude."

Most young mothers are not equipped with the organizational skills to handle more than a couple of kids at the ouside most, and that number seems to be the low average for some of these TBM families. When you factor in things like the profound long-term depression and low self-esteem often found in Mormon women, and a patriarchal hierarchy that supports forcing everyone into playing a two-dimensional role and it is a recipe for functional disaster in the home.

Regarding CPS, I don't know anyone in that profession, but can't imagine it is a pleasant job trying to deal with people who vainly think (or, more accurately, don't) that their capacity for breeding is the only qualification they need for managing all that comes afterward. It says more for the biological resilience of the human race than it does for the ability to get it right.

thinking about the Children? Doesn't sound like it.

Mormons are GREAT at saying One Thing, Doing the opposite.

Impossible for us to know, 'the Devil is in the Details'.

I have heard people who talk as if they should call CPS on somebody who lets their children miss church activities. I don't know if that's actually happened but just the thought is scary.

Every agency gets calls from cranks about unfounded claims.

As to what can be a minor problem, its most likely related to neglect and the fact that Mormon families have lots of children, and due to an oversight one of the children is not getting all the care they might need.

Once it was a neighbor who was horrified that I put my daughter in "towels" for diapers instead of buying proper, disposable diapers.

That time I explained to the worker that she was born in England, where they have "terry nappies" or cloth diapers made from terry cloth. It's very absorbent (which is why we use them for towels) and my daughter had extremely sensitive skin and would get a rash from ammonia if I used plastic in any way. (So I only used plastic pants when she slept.) And I showed the worker her bottom, and I pointed out that even if I DID use towels, what would the problem be as long they were clean, dry towels? :)

She left satisfied.

The second time, a neighbor misunderstood something my son said and was afraid he was being sexually abused. I was actually very grateful that person called. I'd rather know if anything like that was going on. (Fortunately, it wasn't.)

Even though I didn't hate or fear the social workers who came to my home, I can still see why people wouldn't want to be social workers. I'm pretty sure I was the exception to the rule.

I think raising kids today must be especially tough. Seems like everybody is watching to see what you do with your kids.

Same thing happened to us, but CPS found nothing that needed to be fixed. Junior spun a wild cinderella story for her friends at school. Should have won an Oscar. Wife couldn't go back to church after that because the accuser was always there.