Recently, I have seperated from my wife. Not by choice, not mine anyway. You see, I am bi-polar and my problems finnaly became too much for her.

I used to come here and participate some 7 or so years ago, so it is a good place to come now.

My family (Siblings, Parents) are all TBM, and in my opinion blinded by the church. They have been advising me to come back to search for another Companion amungst the single sisters.

Problem: I am lonely enough that I am considering it.

There are many other options. On the other hand, maybe you could "corrupt" a few of the "chosen" daughters!

I am too old~ 45. Not only that but corrupting people aint my thing. I just bring out the best in people. Usually that is not in accordance with Church Teachings...

there are single chicks other places

Ok, I have heard that before but... Being raised mormon, I have never developed true social skills nor dating skills. My ex-partner and I were married at like 18 and 22, in the temple and have never known anything else.

I am really at a loss! It is my belief that being a member of the church has done little in preparing me for the world. in fact, it has made the transition almost impossible.

Then go develop some. Quit using the church as a crutch and go make some friends.

Quit using the church as a crutch? I have not been, do not and have not believed for the past 7-8 years. I do agree that it would be a good idea to develop skills but... I am bi-polar, also on the aspergers scale. developing friends is difficult. so tell be bc, what would it take for us to be friends?

Well I already like you. So we're halfway there. Seriously if you live in Utah County let's get together. I've got a brother with aspergers.

"Crutch" was the wrong word. I meant to say "don't use the church as an excuse". I don't buy that your past involvement in the church precludes you having any social success out of the church.

I agree you've got some high hurdles to jump.

And by "hook up" I'm showing my age. Not in the college get together for sex meaning, I'm a married guy...

hook up with a chick on the board, you'll at least startout with something in common...

"I'm bipolar and so desperate I'm thinking of cruising Mormon singles wards" may not be the best way to attract someone...

yeah thats not the greatest pick up line.....

Sounds like maybe another girl is exactly what you DON'T need at this point. Try taking some time to focus on you. When will you ever be able to get the skills you need to feel confident in this world if another end result is foisted into your lap?

If you know the church is a fraud, you don't want to go find some girl there... you KNOW it will just be a problem later.

That's a rough one, man. I'm sorry. But inside, I know you don't want to compound how crappy you feel right now with digging a deeper hole for the future.

Maybe a puppy would be a good idea. There are a lot of rescue dogs that don't care if you're bipolar and divorced. They will love you anyway.

I love this idea! I'm serious. Nothing like real unconditional love to help a person with real heartache. Take your time! 45 isn't so ancient, ya know. ;)

I was divorced at 52 after a long term marriage. I agree that it is really hard to adjust to a dating scene at mid-life or later. I had one long term relationship afterwards, then a handful of dates over the next 3 years. But taking that break was the best thing I could have done, even though it was not all my choice - I was trying to find someone. Loneliness is a terrible feeling, no doubt about it, but better than jumping into a relationship too soon that is doomed to failure.

I finally found out that "trying to date" was not working. Match.com and those places were mostly useless. What did work was being involved in life and things that interested me. I focused very seriously on a lifelong hobby, which led me to being selected by an art gallery for a one-man show, which led to meeting several interesting women, then I got the phone call. The phone call from someone I had dated for 2 years in college before going on a mission 37 years before. She saw the advertisement for my show on the gallery's website, called them and got my phone number. We were married 4 months later.

I understand the challenges you face with being bi-polar; I have a grandson with aspergers. But you can certainly get involved with something that interests you; a book club, photography club, gardening, etc. This lets people get to know each other who have similar interests and THEN there is a natural path to something more if there is an attraction.

I found that working at dating was the worst thing to do; it makes one look desperate and that will drive away all prospects, except the equally desperate single women in that ward.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2012 05:15PM by my2cents.