I mean, if it is the true order, then wouldn't that mean all of our other prayers were by the false order? If we can only say the true order while in the temple, then why have prayer outside of it at all?

This isn't my original thought, I remember seeing it questioned someplace else, a long time back. However, it is still one of the funniest insights of Mormonism I have ever heard.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2012 05:06PM by forbiddencokedrinker.

It's "Oh God, hear the words of my mouth." If you don't get it right, your odds that he answers your prayer are the same as if you hadn't prayed at all.

Wait, on further thought, I guess the odds are the same either way...

Thanks, just fixed it.

Pssst...it's not completely fixed.

Sorry, it has been a really long time since I saw the loony show.

No biggie. I never had the 'pleasure' of seeing the loony show.

Every good one knows to demand Pay first, then comes the Lay, after which one needs Ale to try and wash that funky taste out of the mouth and mind.

So often it seems like Brother Joseph was mocking the saints to their faces without them realizing it!

Pay: Gimme all your money
Lay: Gimme all your women
Ale: Now I'm gonna get drunk but you are forbidden!!

Xyz hahaha I love it!

And why is it so stupid?

bc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And why is it so stupid?


Lets see...
Dressing up in robes
Chanting around an altar
Speaking in Adamic Language

And all of that is after giving super special fraternity handshakes and passwords

What was the question again?

Don't forget the:

veils over the faces for the women,

the connected circle doing as many signs & tokens as physically possible,

the raising & lowering the hands 3 times,

only men can pray,

the several minutes of figuring out how to get an even number of guys and girls up in the circle,

the white bag full of names,

and the times when the circle is ridiculously small with a few people (middle of the day) or ridiculously huge with a large group (multiple live endowments).

"If there is anyone in the company here today in need of a SPECIAL blessing, please grant them that blessing."

"Oh he prayed just for me - how did he know???"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2012 11:56AM by bc.

Oops I forgot the content of the "true" prayer...

"And please bless our super awesome TEMPLE PRESIDENCY. They are just SO WONDERFUL! Don't mind too much about all the real things you could be doing Elohimie, but please, please, let everyone in this room know how much I kiss up to my leaders..."

Ah, yes, the "true" order of prayer.

There has to be a false order for Mormonism to be relevant. There has to be something wrong and unacceptable about everything we've been doing so they can confide their meaty right-ness at the right time, when our milk mustaches are dry.

I'm wondering if maybe the veiled faces of the women are actually for the purpose of muffling their pleas for help living the hell that is polygamy.

For the curious, the true "order" is the circle with male and female alternating, everyone wearing a ghost costume with an apron on top, women veiled and men with what looks like a baker's hat...chanting in a foreign language God knows what. What? Oh, they changed that true part back to a false part?

Perhaps they should return the whole mess back to what it was at the time of Joseph Smith. A circle of intertwined arms man, woman, woman, woman, woman, MAN, woman, woman, woman...

After all, the whole temple ceremony was designed to scare the Relief Society ladies from spilling the beans that they had been chosen as sacred vessels for the prophet's precious body fluids.

The original garments, made by Emma, included red thread around the marks to represent the blood that stained the garments of the Masons who were the initial recipients of the scars which were the original "sign of the nail," etc.

Yep, the Masons cut them into their breasts, navel, knees. Emma said the 18th century version of, "Oh, HELL, no... you are not carving on me you sicko," and said instead, "I know, we'll use red thread to shut your mistresses' mouths."

Welcome to Rfm, lurkers. This ain't Sunday School.


Anagrammy

Outside the temple there are less formal more flexible prayers. Some like the sacrament prayers and the baptismal prayer must be said perfectly, but the ones by the bed at night or before tests and interviews can be off the cuff as long as they end with the traditional Jesus Christ reference.

I'm sure you know all of that but some nevermos might be reading here today as sometimes happens.

Currently, to make the temple a speshul place to be, and worthy of people's tithing and obedience. A place worthy enough for worthy people to worthily converse with God. Our other prayers are just the commoner's version.

And... (as Ana pointed out), the TRUE order of prayer has women's faces veiled. That's a point I like to bring out to those TBM women preaching to me...

Hey, it isn't "hear the SOUND OF MY VOICE" That is the title of a movie about a cult. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1748207/

It should be "Hear the words of my mouth." Which translated into the pure Adamic, (as everyone knows) is "Pay Lay Ale". Rinse and repeated three times.

See? This just shows how missundertood mormons are and how satan tries to twist things. "hear the sound of my voice." Duh! How do people get these things so wrong?! They are totally different and mormonism has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with cults. How many times do I have to say that?

I once had this overwelming feeling, while in the prayer circle, to pull out the spinner from the game "Twister" and give it a hardy twirl and then see who would follow those instructions.

Greek Baker Temple Twister!

The photo was taken in the late 1800s, I believe somewhere in Sanpete County (central Utah). I don't know how much the "true order of prayer" arm raising was done, but Mormonism clearly used to be a lot weirder than it is now. And that's saying something!

I just had this weird thought that this is starting to sound like the description of a KKK meeting...

at least not in the true order. Think of this as cell phone plan for the few chosen. The divine bat phone as it were. God can't be bothered by just anyone....???

I heard that it was once a habit that e.g. stake high councils used to pray according to the "true order" outside the temple.

Although deriving in all instances from temple worship, some prayer circles were formally organized apart from the Endowment ceremony. Membership in these special prayer circles, which began in 1851 and continued until 1929, did not depend upon Church position. Other prayer circles were formed for priesthood groups: stake presidencies and high councils, priesthood quorums, ward bishoprics-all of them formed under the authority of the First Presidency and generally in response to specific requests. On May 3, 1978, the First Presidency announced that all prayer circles outside the temple were to be discontinued. Apart from the Endowment ceremony, the only prayer circles still held are part of the weekly meeting of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve and the monthly meeting of all General Authorities in the Salt Lake Temple.


http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Prayer_Circle

"Sure sign of the nail" as opposed to the "Iffy sign of the nail."

for the home, in the Journal of Discourses? Does anyone know where that is found?

If Bushman and Quinn are correct, JS and circles go way back. Drawing magic circles on the ground, making a sacrifice and doing incantations were ways to find treasure and appease the treasure guardian. The earliest descriptions of Moroni were more of a giant guardian than a nice nephite prophet with a naked bosom.