I recently had a one month break from exmormonism while on holidays and I am struggling to reengage. Like many of you, exmormonism has been taking up too much time that could otherwise be spent pursuing other interests. It is probably time to disengage.

Hearing John Dehlin’s Sunstone address did it for me. John and I see eye to eye on essentially every problem with Mormonism. But John needs to be accepted in Mormon culture and so feels drawn to Sunstone. For me the thought of getting Sunstoned gives me the creeps, and I know several Aussie friends who feel exactly the same way.

The church is insignificant in Australia and it is getter more so every year. Many are leaving but I don’t sense there is much demand for something resembling Sunstone. Most Aussies seem to just move into the real world and leave it behind. I know Sunstone is a broad tent but being around people intellectualizing about Mormonism has almost no appeal to me now. I don't crave the company of Mormons enough and it is so obvious the whole thing is a fraud.

I am going to try out post exmormonism, take up a few more hobbies and work on my wine collection. I hope I don't need to come back but it is good to know that there are many good people here should I choose to.

Wishing you all the best.

Hooroo

Simon

Wish you the best on your walkabout. You are right about becoming too consumed with it all.

If all goes well you won't be back I guess. But if you pop in for a visit no one will mind!

I too would be done with it if my parents were out. I feel the need to save them and still fel anger towards the cult.

I agree that it's best to disengage when your recovery period is over but please don't disappear altogether. Come and say hello every now and again and weigh in on some of the larger topics whenever they happen.

Simon, you are a great help to many of us with the DNA science. If you have any new info about the advances in genetic sciences and population studies, maybe you might drop us a note about them, or send to someone who can post them.

Have a great time up bush, mate. Enjoy yer walkabout!

I get it

If staying in UT, exmormonism creates a place of sanity and provides a much needed community while you navigate through the journey out of Mormonism. This is essential to undoing the crazy. We bounce ideas and experiences back and forth and come together to share our stories, experiences, and struggles.

Outside of Utah, this world already exists. No need to stay on the dark side if the moon. We can learn from those who have journeyed ahead before us and then not be afraid of the dark. We poke our heads out of the sand and realize it's really not so bad out there. In fact it's truly exciting and a better place to be. Your in Australia dude. Dehlin is in Utah. He has to stay engaged. It's his identity.

I wish you well Simon. You don't know me nor have we ever met yet your insight and posts all of these years have helped me in so many ways. I thank you for that and wish you well post Mormonism.

Good luck with those hobbies, Simon - and may the LDS empire continue to decline, in Australia and elsewhere.

Your exit story here on RfM was very influential to me and one of the reasons I left the Church. I also own your book, which is a valuable part of my ex-Mormon collection.

I felt the same way you did about Dehlin's Sunstone talk. Maybe that type of thinking reflects life as an ex-Mormon in Utah, but it seems like a holding pattern to me. I live far away from Utah.

In any case, it sounds like you have a fulfilling life ahead of you, and I wish you the best and thank you.

I wish you the best for your post Mormon life.

Like hello said above, please keep us in mind if there are updates to DNA information. You have quite a legacy there.

Simon, you were one of the first people I contacted as I was leaving many years back. Thank you so much for responding to my email and for writing your book!

Peace,

Robin

Simon emailed me also. That was so instrumental for me I can't begin to tell you how freeing and supportive to have a scientist respond who knew what the hell he was talking about.

Simon your book was like reading Carl Sagan. You put it all in laymans terms and the info was so straightforward and issues so plainly and simply laid out that as I compared the apologists rebuttals it was easy to spot the apologists pleathora of fallacies.

I have been thinking the same thing about moving on. May be time for me to move on and let others (WOW are there a lot of others now!) carry the torch to stop the rape of informed consent.

For exmormons (or non, never Mormons, like me) living in Utah is isolating and crazy-making.

Outside Utah, it's the genuine world we are interacting with. I mean, no one even bothers to look for garment lines!

Good Luck, Simon!

"For exmormons (or non, never Mormons, like me) living in Utah is isolating and crazy-making."

That's an understatement. Mormons drive you crazy then they treat you like you were crazy to begin with.

Good for you, mate. I'd like to take a hiatus some time, but fascination holds my feet to the fire. Behind all my anger issues is a probing eye of curiousity. I can't look away from the runaway train of LDS corporate destiny.

Best wishes.

Your presence here was invaluable to me when I left. Your book, research, insights had a huge impact on me and were a part of the reason I left. You once made an excellent post here about the difference between “wanting to believe” and “wanting to know the truth.” It helped me understand and make peace with my family.

I hope that you will check in once in awhile for our sake.

And by the way, I consider ex-Mormonism one of my hobbies, sailing, cooking, hiking and exposing the fraud of Mormonism. Some weeks I think nothing of it then others I feel really engaged by what is going on in the ex-Mormon world. I guess I am trying to say that I hope it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. I really hope that you will stop by now and again.

Good luck.

I'm glad you stayed with the ex-Mormon community as long as you did. You didn't mention how much you have HELPED OTHERS! I appreciate your notes to hand out to Mormons who are questioning. My children and I benefitted from your good advice, and we thank you!

Please keep in touch, from time to time. We understand that, ideally, complete recovery is being able to put everything behind you, and move on. I hope to do that someday, though I remain in Utah, and one of my daughters married a Mormon, and my grandchildren will probably be raised in the cult. What a sticky wicket!

Just don't let the dingo eat your bay-bay.

Abrazos y besos!

So how much has COJCOLDS paid you off to keep silent?

Dont know where you are, but have a nice bludge and drink a stubbie of Castlemaine XXXX Bitter Ale for me.

Hopefully reclining on a beach on The Whitsunday Coast.

(I love Queensland)

Fair Dinkum! (do you still say that? It's been awhile since I left.)

I've always had a secret admiration for the Aussie lifestyle, so I totally get why you want to just enjoy it.

Pop back every now and then and let us know how you're doing. You don't have to discuss Mormonism. You can tell us about your wine collection!

Best wishes.

That may not mean much to outsiders. But to us, your research and writings have been life-altering. Please know that.

Best to you,
Shannon ;o)

Since I have been on exmormon forums for a considerable amount of time for 5 years or so, I wonder how much is now a holding pattern I have conditioned myself to be stuck in and reinforced over the years through repetition.

When does support end and you-could-move-on-but-are-stuck-in-an-endless-loop begin?

I am eternally indebted to you! Thank you! Your leaving reminds me of an analogy from Alan Watts: Religion is like the boat that takes you across a lake, from one shore to the other. Some people get out of that boat and continue their journey. Others remain in the boat, sailing from one shore to another, back and forth, never stepping foot on land to continue the journey.

RfM can be like that.

Minwamon! - "it is a good road" in Ojibwe (one of those pesky lost tribes;)!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2012 10:51AM by gnosticguru.

Few can leave as great a legacy as yours for humanity.

Responding to a few posters above, disengaging from a world view is a far bigger transition than just leaving a religion. If you leave the Methodists, for example, you have left an idea about God and your place in the universe which may be mostly identical with your new church, the Lutherans.

Even becoming a Jew still involves the Old Testament and Abraham, Noah and the lot.

Many people don't understand that Mormonism is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD VIEW of who God is/was and who we are/were. When you leave Mormonism, you leave an identity -- remember how many times they said, "Remember who you are"

Identifying as an exmormon gives you an instant identity and belonging that allows you to express your anger, grief, loneliness and betrayal. With other exmormons you have someone who instantly understands why it would be necessary and painful to leave a church you love--even at the risk of your marriage.

Over time, you work out your living situation as an exmormon, your work, you start using your free time to discover and expand on who you are now that you are no longer a unit in a collective mind. The discovery of your talents, which never had time to bloom, is so refreshing and exciting. Who knew I could draw? Write? Golf? Ski? Train dogs for the blind? Teach the illiterate to read?

Every one of us has undiscovered talents and interests--and we are all to a degree creatures of habit. Once you have come to RfM and laughed, found inspiration, made some friends who seem to always be awake, it is just too easy to curl up with your computer and boom! Two hours is gone...

There comes a day for each of us when we are reading here and we are bored. We have heard that post before, and the next, and the next. Only the current event posts have any interest. What crazy sh*t has been going on in the wards or in the place where you served your mission, or with the GA's. You yourself have no real on-topic Mormon-related drama to post and you don't really understand any more why you can't resist coming to RfM.

It is the drama that attracts and distracts. It is entertainment. It's something you know about and can make an instant contribution. And here's the clincher--it makes you feel better by comparison. At least you are not stuck with a MIL like that guy, or struggling with a TBM family like that poster--they are so mean!

When I leave RfM, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, I feel luckier and happier.... until I didn't need anything to make me feel that way. I just pretty much always felt happier and appreciative, with the world open to me without limitation to explore everything I have missed while being Mormon.

I've been out of the church for decades now and there are a few of us old timers who take the time to post for newcomers. It is helpful to know that life after Mormonism can end up being better, yes BETTER, for having been Mormon. I'm going to post more about that another day.

Meanwhile, I have my sketch-walk to do and The Biography of Hedy Lamarr and Steve Jobs waiting on my kindle.

Namaste Simon

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