Quick update on me renouncing the church:
A few days ago, I gave up the Masonic garments and covenants
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,641687

My wife had a relapse and was spiraling into depression. I was all panicky until a good non-LDS friend of mine suggested that I re-avow my marriage vows.

That struck me with lightening! So, I quickly ran to the jewelers and got a nice little band with 12 small diamonds on it. This was perfect to recognize our 12 years of marriage. Plus it was 50% off too, haha ($150, great deal). It was the thought that was to matter.

I organised a mini treasure hunt that night with the kids, and persuaded my gloomy wife to participate. At the end of it, I re-proposed to her. She didn't say much, but we both had tears in our eyes. This was what I said:
"
My vow, reaffirmed
I have always loved you. Please take this ring as my pledge of affection and commitment to you. Despite all the confusions and changes going on now, with God as my witness, may we be saved together and forever. I will always love you, and will marry you over and over if needed.
"

Things got a lot better the next day. She is here to stay by my side! My oldest daughter(11 years old) continues to understand and even prodded my wife to accept the ring and be happy.
My wife loves the ring now. We will have it re-sized today. It will join her other wedding bands, and serve as a permanent reminder of our love journey in this life.

I'm sure our children will remember this occasion too. We will teach them to true meaning of the search for happiness, peace and goodwill.

My other non-LDS friend asked today how our new honeymoon was going! lol.

I starting to feel a bond with all you people here. I hope we can meet up someday in person, in safety from being trailed and persecuted by the cult. I'm in cache valley, and yesterday I wondered if a lady walking past me might have been one of you. It's just a wonderment feeling that we are all out there, and have recovered or are recovering from similar struggles.

I'm feeling a sense of peace bursting out from within now. This must be some sort of enlightenment surfacing.

May we enjoy our lives with much goodness!
It's great to leave the negative episode behind and start with a good note.

Brilliant idea and absolutely beautiful. Your wife is a lucky woman. Thanks for sharing!

Wowza! You're quite the romantic fellow! Your wife is lucky. I wish you two all the happiness in the world!

This is completely different from my Marriage class at LD$ Inc. The EQ President stated that to have a happy relationship with my wife, I need to pray with her, read the scriptures with her, and pay tithing!

Who would have thought that I could make my wife happy by treating her like she is the only person in my life? Congratulations on your vows. I may do the same thing. I've been married 6 years!

I love this story so much I've got tears in my eyes.

After leaving TSCC I questioned everything I had done in my life (I was BIC). I hurt so much and I just needed to know - to feel - that though I had based lots of decisions in my life on the "gospel" as taught by the mormon cult, given the choice, I would freely choose for my husband as a life-partner and I would freely choose to have my kids. I needed to feel that our love for each other was good and strong and not connected to the cult - even though we met at church, had we met anywhere else, we'd still have loved each other.

Your story seems so very pure and honest and say exactly that: I would and I do choose you over and over again. What a great way to re-assure your wife!

That's actually a really good idea. Those who got cheated out of a real wedding by the cult should consider having a vow renewal followed by a second honeymoon.

Think how much more fun a honeymoon would be without having the church sleeping between you two! :D

So sweet.

Such a great idea. A brilliant thing to do. That was so touching. I, too, got tears in my eyes.

Boys get their own kind of brainwashing in YM every week, but the YW are (or, at least in my day, were) programmed that temple marriage to a righteous priesthood holder was IT--the end-all, be-all. Nothing else that a woman could do--no success, no accomplishment, no accolade--was as important as an eternal companion and family.

Mormon women are screwed (npi) in eternity without a righteous husband. Who will call her (temple) name so she can be resurrected? Who will she create worlds with? The choice for such failures of Mormon womanhood is to be *assigned* to some righteous priesthood holder as wife number 14,042, if she doesn't find and keep one on her own. TSCC knows how to play on fears of safety and security, and those fears can erupt when a wife hears her husband no longer believes.

You just short-circuited some of that programming. Best wishes to you and your family, and I hope you keep posting your experiences.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2012 03:41PM by Surrender Dorothy.

What a great idea! This was really beautiful and touching. I wish you and your wife all the best.

A second honeymoon is not a bad idea either.

This was very romantic and wonderful of you to do. She is lucky.
And your children will also never forget it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2012 04:32PM by suckafoo.

And that is how to win a woman's heart forever.

And it really wasn't all that difficult to do, was it? Why don't more of us men puzzle this one out?

What, your non-lds friend had such a great inspiration and he never received the gift of the holy-ghost???
(winks)

That is such a great story. I wish you happyness! ;)

That's so good to hear. I'm convinced it's our love and our respect for each other that will get us through if we can just not let the church overwhelm those two things.

Of course, it's a first step, and there will be a lot more steps to take. But it's a great first step.

Congratulations!

Just Genius! What a great story.

That's awesome! My hubby and I plan to renew our vows someplace really awesome, like the beach in Tahiti. We want a gorgeous renewal, not like the stuffy temple ceremony we started out with. We are aiming for our 25th anniversary in a couple of years.

That will be cool to renew your vows. How fun and what a wonderful day it will be.

One never knows where genius will raise its head.

Sweet!

Such a beautiful story! I'm so happy for your family. Keep us posted on how things are going. :)

Oh my gosh... that brought tears to my eyes. Love the words you used in this vow. You are a romantic. Your kids are seeing what can happen even when something you once thought was right and good is given up. Things just get better with all your new understanding. Congrats on all that is happening in your life. Keep us informed of how much better it gets each wk.

Thanks for making the valley a little more tolerable. Now... If you could just do a little something about the air.


Well done!

HH. =)

Where everyone was invited?

Perfect idea - I'm so glad you were able to do this. :)

You made me tear up. What a lovely thing to do. Also, you owe your friend a big favor!

What, inspired by a nevermo?!

Seriously, love it. Your vow was truly lovely. Your children will never forget what you've done for their mom and for them. Much luck to you!

My spouse and I renewed our wedding vows until death do you part in front of our children close friends parent and brother \ brother in law at the close of our Mormon community experience in which he committed to me the rest of his life

And it helped heal the changes and his disloyalty to section re celestial marriage of the d and c which formerly comforted me when I ignored the part about polygamy. I still have a photo of that day and gathering honoring our love.

That was so beautiful and romantic. Like others in this thread, I had tears in my eyes reading it. I hope your wife appreciates what a loving and wonderful gem she has in you.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes!

I'm glad I can spare the agony of the cult to my children and future generations. It is certainly better to start life on the right direction.

We will lay low and stay away from other churches for the moment. Better not to step into yet another set of layer of illusions.