I've got a cold. :-(

My head feels like a cannonball, my eyes are itchy and my nasal passages are like two little factories.

Do exmos have any magical powers anymore? Some you stashed away for later? Surely there must be some leftovers.

If so, are proxy e-blessings possible?

Should I await for my cold to be cured by resting my head on my laptop or should I drag my sorry ass to the drugstore for some decongestant?

( I have a class in three hours so get a move on any miracles, eh? ;-) )

Demon of the cold virus, I cast thee out and go forth from wince thee art formeth!

Nope. Nothing. :-(

But now on top of a cold I have a toothache. Gee, thanks, rise... It could have been from drinking ice-cold water but I the timing was perfect... beware of exmo powers!

FYI...for me, a bad sinus infection will migrate to my teeth nerves, also giving me a toothache feel. When the sinus infection is gone...so is my toothache

Spaghetti Oh, by authority of the holy monkeydick priesthood, I hereby give you this blessing. I ask thee to take counsel in the lord and go to the store and get some nyquil. Maybe some sudafed. If you do these things you will be blessed with the possibility of feeling better.

Amen!

Damnit I forgot...In the name of Jesus Christ Amen!

Oh that's probably why I'm still in my jammies sitting here on my ass then. ;-)

http://www.e-water.net/viewflash.php?flash=irishblessing_en

Although nearly all the Irish blessings I know involve Jamison's whisky, and I can think of a few Irish who don't even know what water tastes like. <jk)

That was beautiful, thanks!

...although I was expecting Father Ted to pop up somewhere in it. ;-)

The priesthood holders are onto something with the olive oil but it is much more effective to put the olive oil up your nose than on your scalp. The blessing is optional.

Up my nose?!

Maybe it's just me but I associate olive oil with food and I'd like to keep that association strictly intact! lol!

Its just that whenever I have had tastings of the really good olive oils I have noticed besides being delicious that they are soothing on the throat. I just thought it might feel nice up the nose too, and you don't have to wash your hair after.

I still have all the priesthood power I ever had...

Spaghetti oh, in the name of Cheese and Rice I bless you that if it be the Flying Spaghetti Monster's will, you will be healed in It's own due time, and if you are not healed you will serve a great mission for pastafarians everywhere in the hereafter. However, whatever happens, just know that RFM loves you. Ramen!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2012 01:08PM by kimball.

Ramen! Of course! I shall go eat of bowl of steamy noodles! I feel better already! Thank you, kimball. :-)

+99

I ODIN'S name and by THOR's Hammer, I cast out the demon cold and say be filled with the COLD of the NORTH!!

By Grapthar's Hammer, I command you....


(Too obscure, I know... Galaxy Quest)

By the power of Grayskull!!!

The power of the dentist, Excedrin and Nyquil will prove to be a bit more dependable than a PH blessing, I think. The guy blessing you may have masturbated with that hand somewhere in his past and thus become totally ineffective.

Hahaha +112

I was about ready to cast the demonic bacteria out of your body, having some magic still left in these hands, but then I read your post. You compared you nasal passages to two little factories, and I couldn't get the image out of my mind (i.e. BKP qoute and all). To give a blessing I must be perfectly in tune, and that picture unfortunately will not leave my mind right now.

Never one time since I received the priesthood did I feel like I had the power to do anything. Was I supposed to feel something special?

Ron Burr

The only effective use of PP was in giving blessings to those who were soon to depart this world. The other blessings had little effect.

I was asked to stand in the circle at both of my parents death beds while they were given blessings. In the case of my Mom, Dad initiated it but when he was near death one of his friends asked if he could offer a blessing. More out of respect for this man, our former bishop who I love dearly to this day and the fact I loved my father dearly, I agreed. I felt nothing during or after each ceremony, and would not have asked for a blessing for Dad on my own. Waste of time....

Ron Burr



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2012 05:46PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Spaghetti, Hi!

This is Joe Smith. God's busy right now, so I am picking up the slack...

Take two shots of Nyquil, followed by an 8 oz. glass of scotch laced with honey and Rock Star Energy drink...

That will either cure you or kill you.

Gotta go... You can't imagine how busy it is being a god...

As a female, I don't have any priesthood power...except if we were in the temple, and I was still a worker, then I could perform an initiatory on you, but that's not going to heal your cold and might freak both of us out a little bit...anyhoo, I'm chiming in to say that I hope you can get some rest and that you feel better very, very soon.

Well I bless you that in a few days your cold will depart your body and you will be healed.

all the kings, presidents, and popes of all the earth combined. And even then I couldn't cure anyone. Sorry!

My recipe: make yourself a hot camomile infusion, a tablespoon of honey, and a shot of Drambuie. It might not cure you, but you'll feel soothed.

Get well soon!

to expose my hairy armpit and say

"And it came to pass that thou hast been infiltrated by the anti-lehi-nephi-rhyno virus of zarahelma. I do utterly cast it off as if slinging a booger in your general direction. With the fur of a curelom, I say Pay Lay El and health in the navel to thee....may the spirit of Fanny Alger attack the demon virus as if it were the genitals of JS....in the name of cheese and rice....Amen"