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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 01:28PM

I wish they had just flat out banned "ex-gay" therapy. Banning it just for minors will likely come across to many as interfering with parental rights.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 01:31PM

Some will see it as a parental rights issue.
Do parents have the right to abuse their children ?

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 02:15PM

At least, not if they just flat out banned the practice.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 10:39AM

just as a minor (incarcerated people, mentally impaired) Can't give consent to having sex (intercourse), we should look at that 'therapy' in the same light: No Consent is possible (in a general way, some exceptions).

In these cases, the difficulty of measuring individual maturity, because the criteria aren't reliable.
Compounding that is the leverage that parents have over their children, and the unreliability of the 'therapy'.

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Posted by: gentlestrength ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 01:49PM

This is great! California does have a track record of leading US culture. He has been a pleasant surprise on many concerns as our governor.

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 02:20PM

Agreed, generally.

Except for that little Prop. 8 fiasco ...and a couple of tiny anti-immigration initiatives that still make AZ look tame in comparison...

But yes! This is a great day for LGBT kids in California. Especially the ones growing up in Mormon, Catholic, and Fundamentalist homes.

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Posted by: popeyes ( )
Date: September 30, 2012 06:13PM

No electrodes for me!

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Posted by: bibyuguy ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 02:17AM

I participated in this "reparative" therapy for 8 months in the last year and I think prohibiting it for minors is a good idea. However, in the case of adults, I believe it should be left to local and national Psychological Associations to decide if they will grant or revoke licenses to those who offer those "services" to their clients.

In my case, I went to three of the most-famous here in the Provo area. In all of them, there was never really a huge pressure on me to become straight -- all they said was, if you want to live a straight life, I can help you. All of them said that I should consider the alternative of living a gay life, and none of them said that I could be "cured".

Plus, as a pretty smart guy who doesn't know much of psychology but can read any research paper with sound regression analysis, I asked them and they provided me with both research that showed "reparative" therapy was "possible" and that it was just BS. I read all those papers carefully, and, as most research in social sciences, the models were not perfect and the results were inconclusive. So if Ph.D.s can't decide what's what, who is Mr. Governor to do so?

I have a good friend who decided to stick with the church and he has been in this kind of therapy for years -- and without it, he would be dead by now. There are just some people who DON'T WANT TO BE GAY -- and who am I to judge them? If they are willing to sacrifice so much, good for them. We should not pass laws that will prohibit adult men from doing something that will not cause harm to others.

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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 08:29AM

Has the thought ever entered your head that there is something fundamentally wrong about someone having to receive intense therapy to change a basic, and otherwise harmless aspect of their personality in order to avoid suicide because of the guilt they feel from their church?

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 10:28AM

Do you carry that 50-gallon drum of Self-Hate-flavored Mormon Kool-Aid around with you everywhere you go?

I've heard that a sip every five minutes will keep one feeling stupid in love with Mormonism all day long, but this is the first time I ever actually saw someone commit the results of such foolishness to words on a page and defend it.

p.s.: Double-ditto what forbiddencokedrinker wrote.

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Posted by: apatheist ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 12:42PM

You're not one of those guys I see constantly posting in the m4m section of craigslist looking for a "discrete" manly man to come spank them whilst they're still wearing garmies, are you?

Oh, btw, PhDs shouldn't be making medical decisions.. I think that should best be left to MDs. Just IMNSHO.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2012 12:45PM by apatheist.

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Posted by: elee ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 01:55PM

What happens if these gay men marry women? Being someone's unwitting beard just screams "harm" and "damage" to me. Even if the woman knows she's marrying a homosexual, she is still signing on for a life of potential sexual frustration and difficulty.

On the other hand, if one of these men you speak of decides to remain celibate their entire life, the potential of harm there is huge. Think about it: no physical contact of any kind. No hand holding. No kissing. No hugging. No dating period. No sex period. That also just screams "harm" and "damage" to me.

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Posted by: Timothy ( )
Date: October 01, 2012 01:58PM


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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 09:53AM

But, but, but, if they hold hands, that might possibly make some immature religious fu**tard feel uncomfortable for a few seconds, or worse yet, have a mature and responsible conversation with his kids about how not everyone's feelings follow a universal path.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2012 09:54AM by forbiddencokedrinker.

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Posted by: Lois Lane ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 07:45AM

The idea of a gay man choosing to live a straight life makes sense to me. Whatever his inner feelings may be, a straight life might be his life of choice. Not all of us express every inner feeling we have, for which I thank God.

If therapy helps such men, and if this is the choice of an adult, I don't see what the problem is. In today's world, (thank God) he can always change his mind. A good therapist can help him make up his mind.

People DO change their sexual orientation.

Sonia Johnson, after years of being a married woman who never questioned her sexual orientation subsequently "decided" she was gay.

So (apparently) did Martha Beck.

So (apparently) did the actress Meredith Baxter, after first marrying and divorcing three men.

So have thousands of other women who have decided that just about anything is preferable to being some man's wife.

So if a straight woman can choose to be gay, why can't a gay man choose to be straight? Or at least ACT straight. How much of a person's life is "acting" anyway?

We all ought to be able to choose how we live, with a few rules thrown in to protect everyone else.

Lois

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 09:40AM

Lois Lane Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whatever his inner
> feelings may be, a straight life might be his life
> of choice. Not all of us express every inner
> feeling we have, for which I thank God.

Sexuality is way more than just an inner feeling. I doubt you could make it a week without expressing your sexuality in some way.

>
> If therapy helps such men,

It does not.

Here is an article with an impressive list of respected medical/psychological professional organizations that state that such therapy does not work.

http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

So, go tell them about your "proof" that people can change their sexual orientation.

>
> People DO change their sexual orientation.
>

No, they do not. Even Exodus isn't making that claim any more.

> Sonia Johnson, after years of being a married
> woman who never questioned her sexual orientation
> subsequently "decided" she was gay.
>
> So (apparently) did Martha Beck.
>
> So (apparently) did the actress Meredith Baxter,
> after first marrying and divorcing three men.
>
> So have thousands of other women who have decided
> that just about anything is preferable to being
> some man's wife.

Did their sexually "CHANGE" or did they finally discover who they really are. You are basing your views on a lot of "apparently" statements, meaning lacking of FACT.

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 09:57AM

What drug am I supposed to be on today that all these other people here are smoking?

"People DO change their sexual orientation."

No, they categorically do not. People DO change their sexual behavior. They NEVER change their sexual orientation. Go read a fucking MODERN science book, Lois Lane.

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Posted by: Lois Lane ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 10:14AM

>>>No, they categorically do not. People DO change their sexual behavior. They NEVER change their sexual orientation. Go read a fucking MODERN science book, Lois Lane.<<<

Am I showing my sexual orientation by being offended by your language?

I used the word "apparently" because I chose for my examples, people who have publicly revealed their sexual behavior I haven't grilled anyone in minute detail about this, and I have no plans on doing so.

Although, in the case of Martha Beck, I don't think she has ever made a public statement, so I withdraw that example.

In her book "From Housewife to Heretic" Sonia Johnson describes herself as "Hopelessly heterosexual."

Later, she was involved in a number of same-sex relationships. She never again was involved in a heterosexual relationship. In fact, she wants nothing to do with men. Gee, I wonder why?

So, YEAH, she changed her orientation. She explained how it all happened in her books.

I am all in favor of tolerating just about anything between consenting adults.

But there are some forms of sexual behavior that this society will not tolerate under any circumstances. Pedophilia comes to mind. Even if you just ARE "that way" and can't help it and will never change, the society we live in will insist that you not act on those urges, and there are severe punishments in place if you do.

ON THE OTHER HAND, in ancient Greek society the most celebrated form of love was between an older man and a younger boy. The idea of giving the best love you had to give to a mere woman was laughable. Why would anyone love an inferior creature like a woman? In the minds of the ancient Greeks, most women were good for housework and producing children but that was about it.

Do you see why even today some woman don't want to be wives?

I think I am about done with what I have to say.

THis seems to be a topic people can't discuss rationally.

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 10:17AM

I have indeed discussed this rationally with you, so your claim "This seems to be a topic people can't discuss rationally." is irrational bull shit, as is the rest of your post.

Oh, and thanks for admitting that you used the word "apparently" because you really didn't have a clue what you were talking about. If you do not have a very deep understanding if what those people went through, you have no business assuming that they are "apparently" one way or another. It is quite rude to do so.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2012 10:22AM by MJ.

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Posted by: Lois Lane ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 11:24AM

>>>>Oh, and thanks for admitting that you used the word "apparently" because you really didn't have a clue what you were talking about. If you do not have a very deep understanding if what those people went through, you have no business assuming that they are "apparently" one way or another. It is quite rude to do so.<<<

Yes, I do have a very deep understanding of what I am talking about. My own experiences, of which I happen to be an expert. Plus the heartfelt memoirs of people like Sonia Johnson. I will take the candid revelations of people who have chosen to share their personal views and how they have changed over the years over all the scientific studies in the world.

Forgive me for not going into more detail about my own experiences. APPARENTLY this is not a forum where it is safe to be candid.

I would rather open up my heart and reveal my inner self in a Mormon Testimony Meeting.

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 12:52PM

MY point was not about your personal experiences, my point was about your claims about other peoples experiences. RATIONAL people would understand the difference.

Also, rational people know that "heart felt memoirs" often do not tell the full story. They most often tell a story they want the public to believe, and not all the dirt.

You have your personal experiences and "heart felt memoirs" (whatever that really means).

I have my personal experiences (and I bet that I have far more experience when it comes to gay issues than you), I found this place quite a safe place to share my experiances. I also have the support of professionals and professional organizations such as:

American Academy of Pediatrics
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American School Counselor Association
National Association of Social Workers
Pan American Health Organization (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization

Now who really has the credible claim when it comes to RATIONAL discussion? You know, backed up with evidence and not just some person's idealized version of their story?

Oh, yes, I have the heart felt testimonies of dozens of people that once were as you are now, but have figured out that they were deluding themselves.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2012 12:55PM by MJ.

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 10:32AM

Not when you insist on trying to race horses that were born in the 19th century and died in the mid-20th century.

Why are you beating dead horses and pretending like I should even act like you're being rational?

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Posted by: Inverso ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 10:09AM

Read Dean Hamer's work on the genetics of sexual orientation. The examples you gave are all women, and research shows that females have more fluid sexual identities than males and move up and down the Kinsey scale over the course of their life. Bi men exist (middle of the Kinsey scale), but most are at either end of the scale -- gay or straight--for their whole adult life.

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Posted by: bibyuguy ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 02:24AM

forbiddencokedrinker, life would be perfect if the mormon church and misunderstandings against homosexuals had never existed, huh? But unfortunately, that's not the case. We (or you) have to come back to reality and realize that, for my friend, he can't just erase all the 25 years of experiencies he had in his life. The transition out of the church is simply something he can't go through, and there are many others like him out there. His family and all the conservative Christian churches won't simply evaporate in thin air, even if psychologists in the entire world are prohibited from practicing "reparative" therapy.

XYZ, your post doesn't indicate you have 10% of the experience on the topic I have. Self hate? No. Mormon kool aid? Nah. My post didn't say I am favorable of this type of therapy, now did it? If I was, or if I even believed in it, I would be back at my "counselors" office by now. For personal experience (and not from preconceived opinions I formed after memorizing a Wikipedia article), I don't believe it is effective. I think it is a waste of money. But you know what else I think is a waste of money? The new Iphone. Do you know what I think is a psycological abuse? The Mormon church. But go from there to say that the government should ban people from buying Iphone 5s or close the mormon church is of a ditactorial taste that impresses me.

I have dozens of friends who are gay, half of them went through "reparative" therapy and I did too. Like I said, one of my friends is happily married and the therapy helps him in what he needs -- to stay active in the church, being faithful to his wife etc. He is genuinely happy and he couldn't be there without therapy. He does it because he wants to -- because he is an adult and made his own decisions. He tried leaving the church, but simply couldn't.

I find it hilarious that so many here in this forum left seem to have left the mental cage of the morg to enter the mental cage of anti-mormonism. If anything dissonates from the standard opinions an ex-mormon should have, it is because you are still drunk with the mormon cool aid.

Yes, there you go: I am gay, I have been through "reparative" therapy, I think it is pure BS, I think parents should not be allowed to force that on their childen, but I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE THAT GOVERNMENTS SHOULD HAVE THE POWER TO FORCE PEOPLE NOT TO GO THROUGH THOSE "TREATMENTS" IF THEY WISH.

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Posted by: sonoma ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 02:38AM

Your friends who claim that it has worked for them are liars.

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 07:18AM

I'm torn between ROTFLMFAO at how pathetic your defense of the indefensible is, and not even bothering to respond to such a deluded position.

"...your post doesn't indicate you have 10% of the experience on the topic I have."

You would be dead wrong on that score, boyo.

For your mental-emotional survival (or that of your buddy) you pretend something that IS is also something that OUGHT TO BE, and attempt to defend its sustained existence. Now why should that be the case here, considering how illegitimate the sponsoring institution is in the first place?

You somehow imagine that reparative therapy is the product of a functional and healthy society and should be allowed to continue.

You try to convince us that people who undergo that sort of life-jarring, soul-crushing abuse WANT to do it because they DECIDED they could be something they are not. As if none of them were on the receiving end of massive amounts of family, church, and localized social pressure to not be who they are.

Really? Did you read your post for logic before you posted it? Because what it sounds most like, to someone who has been in the thick of it and repudiated it all, is that you are trying to convince everyone else that being fucked-up beyond belief is a normal state of being.

Don't try to convince me that becoming a Jewish Nazi was ever a healthy life-choice for anybody. You people are fooling nobody but yourselves.

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Posted by: The other Sofia ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 08:08AM

Bibyuguy, I wasn't even going to reply to this, but I see so many people piling on that I just want to give you a thumbs up. I hear what you are saying. I don't think you are saying you agree with the Mormon Church's (or other fundamentalist's) positions on gays, nor their brainwashing/guilt tactics. I hear you saying that adults should be free to choose, including choices that we may think are bad ones. If we start using the force of law to force people into certain choices that we think are right, how are we different than religious fundamentalist who use the same tactics? Persuasion not force.

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Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 09:51AM

Before this whole page goes off on a bizarre tangent: try to remember that the point of this thread was about passing a piece of legislation PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM THEIR OWN PARENTS, many of whom belong to twisted fundamentalist religions. Like Mormonism, for example.

http://whatstheharm.net/religiousfundamentalism.html

You people really need to stop and think about whether committing a hate crime against your own child should be A) socially acceptable; B) sheltered under the First Amendment.

bibyuguy sneers at the exMormon who doesn't stop thinking like a Mormon. I would submit that people like him, sofia, and others are still suffering from that peculiar Mormon cultural hatred of the rule of Constitutional law in America - something Mormons have sought to defy or circumvent ever since the cult was organized.

The government steps in when it has a compelling interest in protecting those parts of society who otherwise are unable to protect themselves, as the State of California has done with this legislation. Children are unable to protect themselves. This is why child labor laws were enacted in the 19th and 20th centuries. This is why Seventh-Day Adventists and other freaky-ass cults have to take their children to get inoculations and medical treatment from qualified medical practitioners.

Moving on to adults, nobody is contesting their right to do any old STUPID-ASS thing they want to. But the government still steps in to protect society. Do you remember the drug Thalidomide? It was a sleeping pill and helped women get through morning sickness. Great, huh? Yes, and it did what it was supposed to do. The problem with Thalidomide was it did other things. Bad $#!t. Stuff nobody wanted or intended it to do. Perhaps bibyuguy and sofia feel that the U.S. government should not have stepped in and banned the sale and use of Thalidomide?

"Reparative therapy" is EXACTLY like Thalidomide.

Have either of you considered the future ramifications of allowing these so-called religions to practice mental and emotional torture on human beings? For people as deluded as bibyuguy's "friend" those ramifications are many and dire. Who do you think ends up committing adultery and incest more? Who do you think more often ends up the subject of those police department mug shots for child molestation? People who are out of the closet and proud of themselves and their sexuality, or people who capitulated to the unbelievably harsh pressure and demands of their family, peers, and church associates and force themselves to live a sham life pretending to be everything they are not?

There is nothing healthy, sane, or socially acceptable about a so-called "therapy" that pretends to "repair" what isn't broken. It should be banned by law for everyone, not just children.

But of course you can't convince someone who still thinks like a Mormon that a cult might be a toxic environment to expose a child to. Or that the cult's hatred of LGBT people might lead to a total life-long mind-fuck for any LGBT child unfortunate enough to have grown up in such a deadly environment. Or that a government needs to step in when a cult gets too murderous with regard to those of its own that it deems “unfit.”

I can't believe I'm even having to try and explain Civics 101 to adults.

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 09:54AM

People can not change their sexuality, period.

It is likely that you have far, far less experience on gays and changing who they are than I.

I do not know how many people I have met that talked just like you do only to become the biggest flamers on the gay disco dance bar a couple of years later.

This board is full of stories where people have been "happily married" only to have their life torn apart when on partner can no longer delude themselves. Whole families have been ruined.

But don't argue with me, argue with these people that all say the same thing, preparative therapy is bad:

American Academy of Pediatrics

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

American Counseling Association

American Medical Association

American Psychiatric Association

American Psychoanalytic Association

American Psychological Association

American School Counselor Association

National Association of Social Workers

Pan American Health Organization (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization

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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: October 02, 2012 10:04AM

How does throwing gasoline on a fire make it better? People with homosexual feelings should be taught how to accept those feelings, and how to handle the pressures and guilt from the conservative religions, not cave in to their irrational demands.

It's like if we outlawed baldness, and forced everyone who was bald to wear a wig. It wouldn't change the fact that they were bald, it would just try to cover the fact up. Now let's say that we discovered that wig glue caused depression and suicidal thoughts. You are saying that the bald men should continue to wear the wigs and wig glue, while the obvious answer is for them to go without, and if they feel guilty to receive therapy on how it is OK for them to show their domes to the sun, and they shouldn't feel guilt for doing so.

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