What is it about Mormon men that has never appealed to me?
I guess it's the kind of smarminess of the ones who are the so-called successful Mormons aka wealthy and educated. They act somewhat narcissistic, which is what the mormon religion does to them--teaching them that they are "special," "chosen," "royal" etc. But there is kind of a mild creepyness to them and how they act.
In reality, they are usually kind of boring, cookie-cutter in their thinking (due to the formulaic lives they are requested to live by their church) and usually only interested in having a gaggle of kids. Nothing wrong with being a Dad but they are mostly procreating like rabbits because they were told bc is bad... regardless of what it did to their wives.
Were it not that their church requires them to go on missions and accept leadership positions, Mormon men who become politicians would likely not be able to stand up in front of groups .... at least not in any spontaneous way.
Both Mitt and Jon have experience standing in front of congregations as missionaries and church leaders, and later, in their corporate roles. Although some Mormon politicians are better than others at working a crowd, most come off as either smug or conceited. Mitt seems to be a little stiff and stilted, mixed in with conceited whenever he tries to assert himself.
Some women have always been attracted to the bad boy. That has been me. I've always liked them a little naughty. Sometimes men can trick you because 10 years after marrying my jackmo all of a sudden he's such a good little Mormon boy and I will confess I am finding it a bit annoying so I make sure I lead him astray by making coffee in the morning. Just keepin' it real.
Wow - exmogal - you nailed it. A lot of Mormon boys come across as nerdy yet arrogant and condescending. I always thought their egos were WAY out of proportion to what they had to offer. People talk about someone thinking they are god's gift to women but Mormon guys literally do. With a few exceptions. And they are all cut from a similar cloth, much like Mormon women and for the same reason. Because they've been trained to fit into the Mormon mold. This mold requires a combination of spirituality/effeminate behavior combined with arrogant priesthood leadership entitlement all in a guy who most likely dresses badly. Again, there are exceptions but they are few.
I definitely was more into the long-haired hippie type myself. But having been raised to fear all but the most wholesome Mormon boys, I was always too shy of any other classification of men to follow my heart. Nowadays, like I've said many times, if I had my choice between a Mormon boy or a cigarette and a firing squad, I'd choose the firing squad. And I just noticed how many times I referred to Mormon men as boys rather than men...interesting.
I went on dates with a few mormon guys. Usually because someone else wanted me to. I couldn't stand their air of superiority. They acted like they were doing me a favor to take me out. Problem was I had plenty of guys in the real world to go out with. The mo's were not doing me any favors. They were a pain. Like a rock in my shoe. My family wanted me to have one, but they were so unappealing. I would call them snotty. I felt sorry for the women who married the mo guys I knew. years later....I was so right on. I have seen how some of these guys lives have played out. It makes me feel so grateful I didn't hook up with any of them.
Personally, I think if a Mormon boy has enough courage and integrity to become an ex-Mormon, they automatically become a man. They may still have Mormon issues but hey, so do I. But that's why I put in my post that "not all Mormon guys are like this". Because some aren't and they tend to be the ones who, sooner or later, become ex-Mormons. They may have been Peter Priesthoods once but the arrogance didn't win. The integrity did.
OK, it's getting late here and I'm rambling but I hope you get what I'm trying to say :)
It takes tremendous courage to leave the Mormon cult and forge a new identity and a new life. It is a growing and maturing experience for both men and women.
Once we recover, we no longer can feel attracted to an obedient Mormon sheeple!
They have developed talents in music/art, cooking, education, niceness, etc. Most of them come from gorgeous Scandanavian lineage
The only general fault I have seen with mormon women is their passive aggressive manipulative characters as taught them in LDS classes. Well, that, and that they're believing mormons.
more often than not are stuck emotionally at a Junior High level. That has to get old for their husbands, dealing with an overgrown, overemotional 13 year old. Especially the ones that didn't get an education or any life experience before they married. I know that when I realized I was married and not allowed to hang out with the guys any more - that I was relegated to the Relief Society crowd, I was really bummed out. Those women can be crazy-making. Of course, I lived in Salt Lake City the first five years or so after I married so it might have been Utah Mormon women that are the problem...They are a little more normal outside the Morridor.
CA girl Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > more often than not are stuck emotionally at a > Junior High level. That has to get old for their > husbands, dealing with an overgrown, overemotional > 13 year old. Especially the ones that didn't get > an education or any life experience before they > married. I know that when I realized I was > married and not allowed to hang out with the guys > any more - that I was relegated to the Relief > Society crowd, I was really bummed out. Those > women can be crazy-making. Of course, I lived in > Salt Lake City the first five years or so after I > married so it might have been Utah Mormon women > that are the problem...They are a little more > normal outside the Morridor.
They are A LOT more normal outside the Morridor! :)
I lived in "Happy Valley" for 8 years after I was first married. It was some of the worst times of my life! The women in my ward were very petty and judgemental. I grew up in Northern California, and when we moved to Utah, I felt like I had fallen into the Twilight Zone, and belonged to a different Church!
The best thing we ever did was relocate to North Carolina. The people here are great!
I did base my opinion on mission field mo women. I haven't lived in Utah since I was a kid.
I agree, tho, that both men and women in the church are often emotionally stunted and judgmental. And I am still judging them, so what does that tell you? haha
as I've said before--and I know part of that reason is because I refused to worship them.
I was raised by a man's man--COMPLETELY. My father so did not fit into the mormon male role. My boyfriend is like that--and I've also always been attracted to bad boys. My TBM daughter also is attracted to REAL MEN. Right now she wants a guy like Mike Low(e) on "Dirty Jobs"--and House was her last crush.
I fear that she'll never find a mormon guy she can tolerate--and feel like a failure because she didn't get married.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2012 10:41AM by cl2.
And I wasn't thrilled with them either. Like CAgirl said, they are boys not men. And yes, most are boring, arrogant, naive, and childish. Like suckafoo, I have a thing for bad boys and always have. I don't want to be tainted by some Peter's gigantic spiritual smarmy attitude.
After my bad experience with a Mormon boy as my ex-husband really was, the thing that led me to ultimately resign from the church was getting an invitation to a singles dance right before my divorce was even final.
Even if my divorce had been final, that invitation would have caused me to resign, since I prefer a real man who treats women as his equal. Eventually, I got together with my S/O who was a friend at first, and he's treated me far better than any Mormon would.
A fat, bald (couldn't help that) worthless feeling soul, filled with a mix of arrogance, and lots of pent up anger. He has always been striving to prove that he's worthy by the amount of money he could accumulate. When we married he would brag that he was going to be a millionaire by the time he was 35. Now, in our 60's I am actually doing better financially, and he is SO jealous, acting like I don't deserve it, as I was a SAHM, like they told me to be. I'm not rich, by any means, but have a good savings, no mortgage, and a steady income. He has a house with a huge mortgage ( his 2nd wife wanted a brand new one), in a state where property values are plummeting. He is in very poor health, and constantly stressed with too many Morg demands.
He has become a rabid defender of the faith. I always hated it when he would speak with that low gutteral voice that the GAs sometimes use.
His wardrobe was so bad after our divorce that several Nomo women at work took it on themselves to help him revamp it. He was still wearing the same suits from 20 or more years prior.
Writing this makes me glad I have my own life, despite having have to start completely over in my mid-fifties in 2001.
I met him when I was in nursing school. Initially he was a fun date. We went on riverboat rides and to museums and shows. But he started talking marriage and getting proprietary. One time he told me that women were daughters of Eve and deserved to suffer in childbirth on account of what Eve did to pore old blameless Adam. Well, I gave him an argument, based on the Bible (I'll spare you the details), and he did not like it a bit.
Another time he told me that I WOULD quit working and stay home and start having kids right away once we got married. Well, hell's bells, I said, I'm still in school! I'm not gonna finish and then stay home and waste my education. He said I might as well quit school. "The HELL you say!!" was my response.
I felt like such a loser growing up (especially at 16 when it is FINALLY OK to date) My best friend in my ward was short and blonde and the sweetest girl you could ever hope to meet. All the boys loved her. They all asked her out, and she said yes to every one of them because she didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying no (she even confided to me that she didn't want to date all of these boys, but she gave every boy that asked at least one date.) Meanwhile, I was sitting there dateless. I didn't feel like I could date non mormon boys (even though some perfectly nice ones asked me out) because of all the brainwashing in YW. I thought I was a freak and a loser and I was never going to get married (because of course in YW that's all they tell you to look forward to).
Then I got to college and stopped being Mormon. Bought a house, had a good job, did things on my own. I didn't need a man--never did! One bad marriage (we all do stupid things in our 20s) was a learning experience, marriage #2 is much better! DH is a nevermo, and my parents almost had a stroke when I told them I was getting married to a "non member" and *gasp!* at his dad's house and not in a church (in fact my dad tried to talk me out of it). And *gasp!* we lived together for an entire week before we got married! I'm a sinner =)
I can't picture being married to a mormon boy. Having no money, stressed out all the time, a pile of kids I don't want and can't afford...the mormon's in my town never look happy. They look tired and stressed. They don't appear to enjoy their kids. Heck they can't even have a margarita when the kids just won't stop screaming.
I dated my mormon boyfriend in high school for 4 years before he left on his mission. He was the best boyfriend. We had a wonderful relationship!
He came back from his mission and after he stopped being a robot, he acted like he was just so high and mighty. I could not hardly stand his arrogant attitude. Going on a mission ruined my high school sweetheart. If he would have never gone on a mission we would be married today, no doubt. I didn't like him anymore once he got back.