My TBM biz partner & his wife don't have kids, and don't plan on ever having kids. They are healthy, wealthy, & able... they just don't want kids.
A lot of people look down on them, but the church/leaders haven't given them any grief about it (if that's what you're asking)
My TBM BIL & his wife haven't had kids, but plan to in the future. They are still in school, and not financially secure, so the church/leaders seem fine with them waiting (despite that the "prophetic" doctrine is don't wait no matter what)
So- my answer is that you'll be fine, as long as you are ok with a little gossip/judgement from other members. Not having kids wont prematurely out you as an exmo.
I got married shortly after I turned 18. It wasn't even 1 week later when members started asking when the baby was going to be born.
I was stunned. I was also on the pill. There were NO babies in that marriage. If i'm going to thank God for anything it would be that i'm not related to that guy or his family for eternity. That would be pure hell.
I told our TBM newlywed son and his wife that while we are looking forward to the grandkid phase in our life, it's their business and only their business as to when they decide to have them. We did mention that waiting is not such a terrible idea.
When the Provo Temple opened way back in the 1970s, our ward's Elders Quorum was called upon to be ushers for the pre-dedication open house.
One of the guys in the ward, whose name I knew (but that was about all) was standing next to me as we waited for the next group of 'tourists' to go through the open house. He started up a conversation to pass the time. The topic of his conversation with me was his very VERY low sperm count. I was wondering why he was telling me this until it dawned on me that he was trying to point out that the reason he and his wife hadn't had any kids yet wasn't "selfishness," and that they really were good Mormons.
I felt sorry for him that he was in a culture where he felt he had to do such things to appear a good person.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/10/2012 01:27AM by baura.
My SIL and her husband were unable to have children for a long time. I don't think there was ever any "official" chastising for not having children, but I do know of at least a few instances of members telling them they needed to repent and have children. Image the heartache this poor woman went through...just sick.
There was also one newly baptised couple on my mission that weren't even dirt poor as I think dirt had more money than them. They had one kid (not even 1 year old at the time) and that was plenty for them to handle in their situation. The bishop of the ward came by and told them that they needed to have another kid and not be so selfish.
So, most people won't say anything, but you'll have plenty of assholes telling you what to do.
tell you to pay your tithing before your mortgage and keep having babies instead of getting an education...
and then if you lose your minimum wage job and can't pay your tithing, well don't ask for help during the recession because the church has to use that money for the multi-billion dollar mall they SELFISHLY chose to build instead of helping the young couples they encouraged to breed but now can't feed.
That reminds me of the idiot who married my parents. That guy made them a promise if they would not limit the number of children they had. My brother, the 5th child was married 3 days after I (oldest) turned 6! They had 6 more after that as well. I love all of my siblings, but we never had enough of anything. We lacked in love, parenting, attention, clothing, running water, electricity, beds, and many other basic needs. How's that for an Mormon dream family?
I knew a woman in one ward I was in, who tried to have children but was unable to.
The guilt trip that church members put her under was so great that finally, she submitted to major surgery (5 inch abdominal incision with 8 weeks of healing time) to have an ovarian wedge resection -- an operation that only has at best a 30% chance of helping an infertile woman get pregnant.
Major pain, major dehabilitation, major suffering -- she did it for only one reason: to PROVE to the folks in her ward that she was doing everything possible in order to have a child.
And even with all of that, there were still those dodos who, in loud whisper, suggested that if she and her husband just PRAY HARDER...