A Mormon ward is much worse than a fraternity.


A fraternity or sorority is much better because college students are beginning their adult lives, but they are still young and inexperienced. In fraternities, young people band together with other young people and make their own rules. No older adults are involved. Fraternity brothers feel a sense of equality. They are all at the same stage of live. They are setting sail into the great unknown together. In contrast, in a student ward students are expected to act as if they know everything already. They must behave as if there is no great unknown to explore. They can't experiment with alternate ways of living. The future is set in stone: go on a mission, marry, serve in the Church. They must please their elders, who obviously know everything.

Fraternity brothers still interact with adults, but these adults are not their "masters". Many adults like to interact with young people so they can "show them the ropes." Fraternity brothers learn a lot when they talk with adults. They learn a lot about college majors, a lot about careers, a lot about graduate school. They learn how to please women and how to establish a satisfying life. Mormon bishops are not the same kind of adults. Mormon bishops rarely talk about college majors, careers, or pleasing women. They don't have much to say about establishing a satisfying life. Instead, they scare, annoy, and frustrate college students with lectures about how premarital sex is bad. They conduct personal interviews in which they listen to the sexual lives of students. They dish out bad advice in these interviews. They often wish they weren't bishops because their task of controlling students' sexual lives is such a chore and such a failure. They don't bond with students like an adult would bond with a fraternity brother. Instead of being a genuine mentor and friend, they are a guilt inducing religious leader.

Fraternity brothers can go to church, but they can pick where, when, and if they go. Those who go to non-Mormon churches freely mingle with a great many adults who love to help them out in life. In contrast, BYU college students have no choice; they must go to one particular Mormon church every week. They don't get to mingle with many adults. They have to attend a singles ward which stunts their growth; they cannot connect with adults who would genuinely help them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2012 09:48PM by behindcurtain.

At BYU I bought into the idea that you were selfish if you avoided a mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. College students need ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET, AND THEN SOME just to learn how to survive in the middle class world. Life is very, very, very complicated. The college years are so critical. LIFE IS HARD!!! So many crucial things are not taught in classrooms.

A man who avoids a mission is not selfish. He is just trying to SURVIVE!!!

The Mormon wards make it even harder to survive in the middle class world.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2012 10:12PM by behindcurtain.

One word: hazing. Also heavy drinking. Fraternities are not very healthy either but they can hook people up with jobs at least.

My sons were in a fraternity, and they formed strong bonds there, and these friendships have lasted throughout their marriages, and their children play together. One son's business partner is a fraternity brother. The fraternity brothers who choose to do so, with their wives and children rent house boats on Lake Powell every year, meet in a beautiful lodge in the winter for snowmobiling, just met in Park City for a weekend of golf in the fall colors, and are going to the U game in Seattle together. They are closer than I ever was with my Mormon extended family.

At BYU, we were told that the wards were in charge of our social life, and fraternities and sororities were not needed. The girls in the dorms and apartments changed from year to year, as they got married and/or dropped out of school. Less than half graduated. They left at the end of the year to go back to their home singles wards. I left BYU with the same friends I came there with, from my home stake, high school, and YW camp--and we are still friends to this day.

My children were talking with their Mormon cousins, who live in our neighborhood. The cousins say that their friends were "whoever was in their ward at the moment." They moved around a lot, and went to BYU, before they settled here, and as a result they have very few close friends. They are great people, but very Mormon.

Decades later, my brother is still close friends with a number of his fraternity brothers. They travel together and socialize frequently. My brother has also served on the house board for his collegiate chapter.

If I had to do it over again, I would have pursued sorority membership in college.

When I was in college, one of my roommates joined a sorority. It looked to me just like a big bunch of ready-made fake friends, very similar to the church friends so many people have described here on this board. They hang out with you because you are in the same organization and that's it.

My brother joined a fraternity and is still friends with some of those guys nearly 20 years later. However, I think some of them were his friends before he joined and were his roommates, so the fact that they were in the fraternity together might not mean much.

I hate fraternities. While I am not as offended by them today, as I was as a TBM working for the campus police (one of my first jobs) as a student employee, I am still disgusted by how they operate.

Actually, if you look at what is really bad about fraternities, what is wrong with them is also an issue with the church. Most frat members are probably OK guys, but when one of them gets turns out to not be so good, the frat throws up this whole wall in order to shield the Piece of... in order to protect the image of their house.

Most frat members are not rapist, but most frats will protect a rapist from time to time, in order to preserve their image. This is the same thing that churches do, and it is evil. The dignity of living humans should always come before the reputation of soulless institutions.

Fraternity/sorority membership can be hit or miss depending on the individual chapter, and the circumstances when you're an active member.

I didn't have a particularly great time with my sorority because I just didn't gel with most of the other active members during my college years. So in that regard, I definitely agree with the "they hung out because we were all in the same org" idea. I keep in contact with a lot of them. I don't know that I'd consider them close friends - but definitely acquaintances on good terms.

However, as an alumni I've since found very good friends through my chapter who are years younger than me, and we have much more in common than I did with the people in my age group. We hang out a lot.

So in that way, the sorority was a great networking tool for me to meet others that became friends after school ended. For that, it was definitely worth it to me to join.

What I didn't realize at the time that I rushed is that a sorority affiliation can continue long after school ends. I had one chapter that I was uncertain about at the time (but was interested in me) that in retrospect would have been a great fit for me. As I said, I wish I had pursued it further. I just didn't know enough about it back in the pre-internet days.

If young people are interested, I would encourage them to check it out. It's a shame that the Mormon church appears to discourage such affiliations at the present time.

A long, long time ago, TSCC allowed a (church-affiliated) frat while I was at Ricks, 'Lamda Delta Sigma'. I remember it as being very shallow, with no Frat House, no ties to any meaningful Natl org, no goals, no Mission stmnt... it seems TSCC is 'a jealous mistress' who can't stand its members to have any other, even tenuous 'outside' loyalties/affiliations.
IDK if there's anything left of it, but I'll google it to find out.