...Mormons Inc. would pull a Joe Smith and jump into your marriage bed right between you and your TBM spouse?

Did you ever think you would have to test the strength of your marriage against the full onslaught of the cult's demands for individual loyalty?

As TBM as I was--my dad raised free-thinking children (and then wondered what happened!). My dad didn't suffer fools and he listened when I went inactive (especially given what had happened to my life). I was the one they never worried would leave, but then my dad wasn't all that active.

BUT I actually never even thought of my marriage that way--which is probably why I could choose loyalty to my ex (and myself) over the lds church. It was my ex and I. I was actually very shocked to read the actual sealing that SusieQ posts now and then. I had no idea what I had covenanted to.

**Wait just a minute--they were in my marriage or at least what led up to it. It was ONE of the many reasons we got married--to get the voyeurs out of our lives. The damage they did to both of us is extensive--and one of the reasons I do come here (like fidget was talking about). I guess my ex had been through a lot of this all his life, but me? I had made sure I never did anything I would have to confess to a bishop for. I lived in FEAR of it. Then my ex comes out to me as gay and they wanted me to help "save" him. My first French kiss was assigned by a bishop and my ex wasn't supposed to tell me, just take me out and French kiss me. I had purposely never French kissed and my ex knew it. Thought I might have to confess. So my ex did warn me. They put me through more than they put him through. And the story is much uglier than that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2012 09:39AM by cl2.

What a life you have had! Have you ever written it all down in one place?

And yeah, I think your story is one of those where the cult inserted itself into your marriage before you were even married. So many times here the poster talks about the spouse doing this or that in toe-the-line response to their decision to leave the cult, and the poster finds themself battling the presence of a shadow figure that dominates their marriage relationship...

I find the whole concept creepy as hell.

Back in the days of the wise prophet, Spencer W. Kimball, the
inspired wisdom was that the thing to do with gay guys was to
marry them off to unsuspecting girls. A bit of the good old
nookie with a girl will cure them of their bad habit.

Because, the inspired prophets, seers, and revelators knew
that the reason people were gay was because they just wanted
to sin, or that they had been "recruited" by someone and were
too weak to resist at the time. In hearing confessions of gay
guys they would concentrate on acts, actions and lurid details
rather than asking anything about yearnings, or feelings.
That last thing Mormon leaders care about is your feelings.

So the leaders hooked up thousands of gay guys with
unsuspecting "daughters of the Lord" who were going to (by
virtue of having breasts and vaginas) "cure"
them.

This had the effect of doubling the damage. Not only was the
gay guy made miserable but the poor girl was also.

It took a lot of failures of this policy coupled with a lot of
scientific research to make the Brethren change their
obviously flawed policy. When Gordon B. Hinckley announced
that marrying a gay guy off to a girl is not the way to deal
with the "problem," many TBMs smiled at the inspired wisdom of
their leader. But this was definitely a case where good
judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad
judgment. Like the time my father-in-law came in from working
on a house with a huge bump at the top of his forehead. His
first words were, "never put a hammer on top of a ladder."



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2012 05:40PM by baura.