Credit to D of this board for the alternative letter quoted below.

Some of you may disagree with replying at such length, but I did what I did and so it goes.

I am deleting him from my contacts forthwith.

[MP's first name],

Your initial reply to me was unexpectedly denigrating.

I have been vulnerable with you to a degree that bespeaks tremendous humility and sincere desire on my part vis-a-vis pursuing the truth (both as a missionary and now). To think that you misapprehended my intentions as a missionary in the way that you claim you have is disappointing. Are you sure that you didn't mean that email for someone else? You have described someone who is very unfamiliar to me.

You have impugned the foundations of my marriage and in doing so you have insulted my wife. This betrayal was totally unanticipated. You don't know anything about our courtship, engagement, and marriage. I will not let you insult her honor further.

While I appreciate that your message was not exclusive of compliments, they were rendered meaningless by the abuse you heaped upon me. Your original response has the form of love, but denies the power thereof. I originally thought not to dignify it with a response, but I believe in forgiveness and I had enormous respect for you at one time.

To think that you judged me so harshly for so long without raising a voice of warning is unfortunate and telling. It seems that you think you have a gift of discernment superior to that endowed upon others of my former priesthood leaders (such that I was only unable to "fool" you, or "pull the wool" over your eyes). You failed, then, to discern the motivations of my heart, which were to serve faithfully. How you confused this reality with the fallacious, slanderous intentions you have ascribed to me is inconceivable I thought that we were friends. I looked upon you as a friend, role model, and mentor and you have rendered me no uncertain wounds with your insensitive, invalidating remarks.

The following is an example of the kind of constructive message that you could have delivered in response to my respectful inquiry (it was composed by a non-member friend with whom I anonymously shared some of the content of your original email--I emphasize that when I shared it I redacted all our names and any other identifying details):

"David O. McKay once said that "[n]ext to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man." The Apostle Paul wrote, "But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good." (1 Thes. 5:21 NASV). I congratulate you on examining your life, your beliefs, and the sacred narratives (and places and times) within Mormonism as you understand them. And I admire you for taking into account your wife's feelings, and honoring me by sharing some of your innermost private thoughts.
I cannot decide for you. All of us see "through a glass darkly" (1 Cor. 13:12 KJV) (See Plato's allegory of the cave in the Republic). How we see things depends upon where we sit. I am satisfied that Deity is pleased when we do our best with what we have, making the best decisions we can based upon the best information we can find.

Those decisions, of course, include what we decide to accept by way of beliefs, which values and which faith or nonfaith community(ies), if any.

I can tell your questions, concerns and wrestling with truth claims and with the value of the LDS faith community are sincere and legitimate. In all honesty, my life has never been free from questions or doubts. I think such struggles can be part of an authentic discipleship of God as we understand God to be.

As you know, I do subscribe to the essential truth teachings of my LDS community and I personally find satisfaction in living that lifestyle as best I can. But each person's conception of reality and what is true and good will differ, as will our paths to reaching that conception. I am very happy that you and I have walked much of that road together as fellows in the mission, and that you continue to feel safe sharing your feelings and findings.

Please know that I am your friend, and you are in my thoughts and prayers and you have my support as you strive to discern God's will (or even whether there is a Higher Power of some sort).

I understand you have not set an internal deadline for formally resigning from the church. I am glad you are giving yourself time. It is a significant decision. And there is a lot to weigh.

If you would like to call me, or even meet with me some time to discuss this or anything else, I will make time."

Such a message would have left me with a very positive feeling (possibly even that warm feeling of light and truth of which the Church so often speaks). Sadly, your message left me feeling enormous betrayal and it reveals so much about our relationship that I did not understand formerly. Imagine what kind of conversation be could be having now if this had been your response.

I will not even address the content of your second email yesterday (except this: if you had truly believed this, why didn't you raise a voice of warning at the time?). It is insulting in the extreme. I have learned a valuable lesson: do not cast pearls, so to speak.

I will not accept further communication from you and I hope that you will treat this conversation with the confidentiality that it deserves. Do not attempt to contact me or my wife. I sincerely forgive you and wish you and yours the very best, sir (in contrast to the complete ruin with which you have threatened me!).

Regretfully,

[Me]

lesson learned.

Well, I hope this causes a little introspection, but I doubt it. He sees himself as the ultimate righteous priesthood holder. With him, the fault lies elsewhere, no doubt. Good riddance.

Proof read it again before you send it.

It's a great letter. Make sure you stick by it. He may try and apologize. Don't give a reply. He'll just make you feel bad if you engage. Good riddance.

Good for you. Don't let a bully like that get the better of you. Take your power back. He has only imaginary power. And make good on your promise to cut him off and don't reply again, no matter what he says. That letter is more for you, than for his benefit, because as was said, it'll probably just roll right off of his arrogant back.

true, greyfort. thanks for all the support, RFMers. you guys are awesome.

i have made good. blocked his email, deleted him from my contacts, etc. etc. if i get any phone calls with his area code i will have my game face on :)

in any case, this has actually been a very constructive and instructive process.

Now you need to challenge him to a duel.

if only, Dave.

i am a little... traditional?

but not so traditional that i dress up in armour and go jousting.

not that there is anything wrong with that :)

No need for armor and jousting.

Just throw a glove in MP's face and tell him you'll be glad to shoot his dick off his crotch any time, as you are a crack shot and are confident you could hit a tiny mark like that at 1,000 paces.

I would hit him where it hurts. I would say that you turned to him when you were in spiritual crisis and he effed up royally. It's quite clear that he has zero missionary ability, and this explains his own personal failure as a mission president and why the mission was never able to perform as it should. Then never speak to him again.