A youthful 43 Well-educated, with four degrees Smart (especially when wired on megadoses of caffeine) A philosopher Introverted Playful Entrepreneurial Geeky (a tech nerd) Loves world literature Loves writing Makes lots of money but isn't a materialist Kind Loyal Supportive Committed Intense Passionate Semi-handsome Prudishly monogamous Loves manual things: automatic watches, manual transmission cars, bicycles Enjoys foreign films and 80's Brit-pop Has a weakness for watching airplanes take off and land Loves tea and used bookstores Wants to make a difference in healthcare Worships academic scholars (PhD's) in the humanities Adores gifted writers and thinkers Likes to help people, where he can
Way deep down inside, still harbors that teenage fantasy of becoming a rock 'n' roll star. :)
Warning - politically incorrect rant ahead. Do not read if easily offended.
Have to take a pass on this one. The poster Glibberish has a good point - humility is not one of his strong points.
Neither, for that matter, is making much of a connection with others. His post yesterday was so full of stereotypes and generalizations about our community as to make me ill. Yeah, he may be a competent writer, but I believe there's a definite reason he's still single at age 43 - not that anything per se is wrong with being single and over 40. But he seems to have the maturity, ego and attitude of an arrogant 23-year-old "pretty boy."
I've dated self-important narcissists like this one before. You know, the type who you date, and then they eloquently blog all about it on an internet bulletin board the day after while simultaneously prattling on and on about how inadequate you were.
Hint: It's not about how handsome you are on the outside, especially as time continues to pass and a life partnership continues to elude you. It's more about how handsome you become on the inside as you learn and move on and connect with others on a human level, and toss your own superficial stereotypes. The way he posted yesterday, I'd honestly expect him to come to a first date wearing a level A containment suit.
Were I the guy he dated and blogged about, I'd be livid. If I were lucky enough myself to get a date like the one he described with the guy he just dated and trashed, I'd be as close to in heaven as my ex-mormon atheist self would allow.
and full of your own stereotypes of who the OP is, based on a few posts, and of who you think he should be. I get a lot of wanting to share and be understood. Where do you get that he trashed the guy?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2012 01:49AM by munchybotaz.
How is he "trashing??" Try blogging all about the gory details of his previous date on an internet forum for starters. Did he get permission from "Jake" to air this out here beforehand? A true "introvert" wouldn't be doing this. Again I say, if I were his date and I ever caught him posting all about our short time together in the agonizingly microscopic level of over-analytical judgmental detail he just did on a public forum, I'd feel a combination of being an unwitting science experiment subject, violated and livid. And now he posts the equivalent of a personal ad on here and is asking for further dates from guys who frequent this board?? HELLO!!!!!!! Who wants to stand in line to be his next subject of in-depth analysis??? Indeed!
I get what he's doing... Trying to gain support from all his online "fans." But color this particular gay ex-mo who prefers real life to an internet board any day both unimpressed and disgusted with his level of maturity, his conduct, and his superior, condescending attitude on here. I stand with Sonoma on this particular point. He may be able to write flowing long-winded posts, but he has the emotional maturity of a twenty-something prude who still doesn't really like who he is. And this comes from somebody who doesn't do sex on the third date himself, who is hiv and hep negative, and does not automatically consign those who happen to be positive to the trash heap.
OP's problem is not that he's lonely and wants more out of life. His problem is that he's so full of internalized self-hatred and smug pseudo-intellectual superiority that he effectively repels any and every self-respecting gay man he meets.
In truth, there would be precious little room left for anyone else but GP in GP's life, and what little there is would be taken up with the time-consuming task of worshiping the monolith of GPs self-inflatedly immense ego. In his own mind, which feeds healthily on the buzz of his own mind, he is a worthy Gay and he is a Philosopher. The truth is he is not a worthy gay: worthy gay men run for the exits when people like GP show up. The truth is he is not a philosopher: his philosophical maunderings are dull unrigorous pseudo-intellectual masturbatory exercises. GP's so-called "philosophy" is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets its hour upon the RfM stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (yes, other people actually do write better - and with deeper meaning - than GP does).
GP doesn't want a self-respecting gay man to date: he wants a straight-acting, straight-appearing self-hating other-hating gold-buttoned-navy-blazered Rolex-watched loafer-wearing conservative-voting 43-year-old virgin same-sex-attracted jerk to date, someone with whom he can share his deep sense of alienation from the community that he himself claims a part of but over which he holds himself morally, intellectually, and in all other ways superior and all of which he roundly rejects, and which community itself has roundly pushed such individuals as himself to the whackjob fringes because he is quite literally THE most bizarre anomaly in the entire world: the Straight Homosexual (NOT "gay" - "homosexual").
What need has the world for a Straight Homosexual who claims his incoherent ravings as "philosophy"? That is only a reflection of what all of us in the real world have rejected, just as roundly as he has rejected us in petty retaliation for our mockery and eye-rolling. He fails to consider that his biggest problem and greatest enemy is...
Every time GP writes about being gay, he gets attacked by other gay men on the board. For a bunch of guys who probably grew up being told to be something else, some of you seem pretty comfortable doing it to others. And the way you do it is just vicious. Yikes! It goes way beyond correcting stereotypes and pointing out self-defeating behavior.
before you continue on your high horse telling gay men how they should behave, you should understand something (i think it's a simple enough concept for you to grasp, too!)
healthy gay men have for centuries had to do battle with self loathing, anti-gay, closet cases! it does no good to try to love them into the fold. they have done untold damage to untold millions of gay men throughout history. and we will continue to fight their lies and oppression at every chance we get.
you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
then forget the apology and give me a response to this...
healthy gay men have for centuries had to do battle with self loathing, anti-gay, closet cases! it does no good to try to love them into the fold. they have done untold damage to untold millions of gay men throughout history. and we will continue to fight their lies and oppression at every chance we get.
First of all, I didn't suggest that you try to love GP into the fold. And I understand about doing battle with the closet cases. I just think some of the criticism is too personal, mind-reading, and cutting.
i think that if you re-read a few of his earlier diatribes against gay men, and inserted the word women every time he said gay man, you would really understand where we are coming from.
If you don't think you're fabulous, who else will?
GP, I think you're fabulous. We could probably be great friends in real life. However, no sexual love match. I'm too old, female, and hetero.
I don't know why, but gay people have always been attracted to me. Both male and female. My husband thinks that's funny. He likes to tease me about gay women hitting on me. They've done right in front of him.
I'm confident you'll find someone who overthinks everything as much as you do, and then you'll wish you were single again. In the meantime, I doubt the whole conservative thing is doing your love life any favors. :)
We would not be a good match. I like sex; lots of dirty, rough, wake-up-the-neighbors sex. I'll cuddle when I am old.
Seriously, if you are truly looking for someone you need to tone it down and stop overthinking everything. Also, you need to stop being so judgemental of people. I did not appreciate your judgement of other gay people and those infected with STDs.
It sounds like you are looking for someone without faults. They don't exist. If half of what you said about yourself it true, you are good catch and you will find the right person if you don't expect perfection. In the meantime, ENJOY LIFE!
Do you sleep on twenty mattresses every night and still get bruised by peas?
While you were making that list life was passing you by. This is your last chance. Go roll in the mud. Forget who you are. Forget what you deserve and go roll in the mud.
Educated (2 degrees + professional certification) Established (good career in public service) Mature (no games, monogamy-minded, want to settle down) Open & Honest in everything Healthy Like hiking, cooking, sports, and the symphony Devoted single parent of 11yo daughter who lives with mom on weekends