that one of the reasons I'm glad to be an exmo is because I'm free to think how and what I want. I read many things on this site and anywhere else in general and I can choose to agree, disagree, decide if it doesn't matter to me, or anything in between. I don't have to first think about what some guy in SLC says is the correct answer.

My beliefs can evolve over time and I don't have to wonder if that's because I'm being influenced by imaginary beings. But I can allow myself to listen to anyone I want and decide how they will influence me. All this without feeling guilt.

I honestly do not understand how I could've ever believed that I would be unhappy if I left TSCC. But I did believe that at one time, and that's one of the things that angers me when I look back at my time as a TBM.

Great thought.

I wonder, did anyone else find, that after leaving the church, they had a hard time;

1) Assessing their own emotions
2) Making up their own mind
3) Forming and sticking by their opinions


Or ever generally feel that intellectually they had been so surpressed that they now feel "behind?"

intjsegry: yes to all three questions; and over time here at RfM, many have expressed the same thing. You're not alone, not by a long shot. Trust the experience of this board: things will get better.

justanotherjoe: exactly, and well said.

Raptor Jesus: ambiguity is complex because it is rich with life ;)

intjsegry: I've been out for almost 8 years and I still find myself evolving in the areas that you mentioned. I feel more comfortable with who I am now than when I first woke up from mo'ism. But I find myself learning everyday and I love it.

Mormonism gives you limited questions - and spoon feeds you the answers. Even when they are clearly wrong. And you are not allowed to disagree.

Life is much richer for its complexity and ambiguity.

The problem with Mormonism is its highest value is to not be found out to be wrong or mistaken. Pretty lousy way to live.

I frequently get e-mails from brand new ex-Mormons, who have spent their lives not worrying about what they should believe - they just had to check what the answer was from the church.

These e-mails ask, quite plaintively, "But what should I believe NOW?" They still need someone to tell them what to believe.

Fortunately, most of them figure it out: they are now responsible THEMSELVES for deciding what to believe.