Anon For This does not know how to be romantic. Throw out ideas on this thread.

Read a ladies novel to her at bedtime.

Make a top ten list of things you love about her.

Walk up and kiss her, don't explain just walk away.

keep it going ladies.

I'm a dude, but:

How often do you send her flowers/edible arrangements at work, just because?

Do you buy cards or do you make cards? There's a huge difference.

When was the last time you surprised her with candlelight dinner?

Do you massage her back when you go to sleep or do you just drift off to dreamland?

Do you talk at her or to her? Do you ask her questions about her interests and really listen?

Do you pay attention to remarks she makes at the store about something being "cute" and then surprising her with it a week later?

Just a start..

Thanks kolobian,

yes guys pipe in too.

Do the dishes.

Say "thank you" for dinner.

When you go out to the hardware store, ask if she needs you to pick up anything at the grocery store.

Hold hands when you watch tv.

Hug and kiss hello and good-bye every day.

Notice when she gets her hair done.

Play board games.

Leave little notes for her on post-its on the kitchen counter, with short messages--love you, have a great day, will miss you, etc.

Ask her about her day and listen.

Dance with her to a song in the kitchen or anywhere else in the house one evening without any other expectations.

Tell her the things you love about her or the reasons why you fell in love with her in the first place.

Surprise her with lunch at work or home.

Watch a damn chick lit movie. Trying to get a body count in Braveheart is not romantic.

Take her to a planetarium. Sexy stuff, those stars.

Hold hands with her in public or when you're watching a movie or tv.

Tell her what colors make her look loveliest.

Make her silly little coupon books for backrubs, kisses, doing dishes, etc.

Surprise her with breakfast in bed.

Give her a foot massage or backrub with no expectations.

If you're out of town, send her notes or postcards. Or leave notes behind in a drawer you know she'll open while you're gone.

Play cards or games with her.

One day, send her a text an hour with a sweet message.

Make a top ten list of anything you want to, funny, sexy or sweet, but all about her.

Cuddle with her at night and talk to her.

Tell her what your favorite scent is on her: her shampoo, her body lotion, her perfume, etc. Or buy her some body lotion from Bath and Body Works in a new scent. Better yet, take her there and let her try several scents on and see which ones you like.

If you're in school, go to the library together to study, but pass her pre-prepared notes while you do so.

Go horseback riding or on a slow rafting trip.

Go to a museum together, meander around looking, but sneak a kiss in somewhere where no one's around.

See if she'd like to watch a sports show with you (bball, football, golf, etc.) and she doesn't know what something means, explain it to her. Or take her to a game--if, in winter, with hot chocolate and blankets. In warmer weather, have a tailgate party. A lotta women dig sports and want to share the fun with guys.

Get your courage up, walk into Victoria's Secret, and buy her some new panties, a silky little robe, or some of their body creams or lotions.

Take her for Sunday (or other day) drives and both of you turn off your cell phones.

Write down all the funny, quirky, best memories you have with her, esp. little phrases or sayings only the two of you understand.

Ride bikes together.

Walk on the beach, the boardwalk, the nature trail, or in the park.

Run through the rain together (not a thunderstorm, mind you).

Burn a CD of favorite songs you both love or add them to her ipod.

Make a big deal of it when she goes out of her way to do something to please you.

Plan a picnic and surprise her with it (in warm weather, do it outside. If cold, inside).

Play in the snow together (yes, do the snow angel thing).

Tell her thank you for all the things she does for you. It really is the little things that count.

"Trying to get a body count in Braveheart is not romantic." that depends entirely on the woman ;-). I'm the type that loves the blood and gore especially in historical dramas as much as the romantic tales while most romantic movies makes me want to hurl sharp objects at the screen. know your audience. otherwise excellent list.

I would add:

Offer to babysit the kids at least one or two nights a week so she can pursue an interest/hobby of her own. example: mine is ballet. Hubby come and supports me at performances even though he is NOT a ballet fan. Knowing he's in the audience is sexy as hell.

pillow talk at night as you two are settling in for sleep

listen - i.e. don't become mr fixit when she complains about something. just listen. sometimes all we women want is an ear to chew while we work things out ourselves.

Honestly all these ideas are great advice, but first you have to love and accept yourself for who you are warts and all BEFORE you can love and accept someone else for who they are warts and all. If you can't do that then no matter who you're married to it will never work. you can't give away something you can't do for yourself.

Hey, I want this stuff to.

This is great, keep it coming!

The most romantic thing I ever heard of was my daughter's Valentine's Day gift: a treasure hunt to every significant place in their relationship.

The first clue she left on his care with a single rose--it lead to where they met, which note lead to where their first date was, first kiss, etc.

Her boyfriend was very impressed.

Anagrammy

PS - the clues even were in rhyme!

I love this one. The best present birthday I ever had was when my honey dis a scavenger hunt for all my presents. All the presents were along the way, beautiful Opal jewelry, movies I like, and the very last one was a stereo. <3 <3

The lists so far are all good. For me, the most romantic thing my husband does is treat me as his best friend and lover. When I've had a crapy day at work I know that he will really listen to me. He also notices the things I like and remembers them. Another really romantic thing you can do (if you live with your partner) is equal shares in housework and childcare if you both work. If your partner works at home, make sure they have time each week to get away and do something fun. If you are single and courting, learn what the person you are interested in likes (hiking, swimming, movies, going out to dinner, reading, etc) and do those things together. Learn to appreciate what the person you love is all about and treat their interests with respect.

If you have small kids and little money. When dinner is done do the dishes. Then send her off to the tub with a good book,drink of her choice and time. Don't let anyone interupt her. And don't make it about sex just about giving her time to herself because you love her. Cook the family dinner,vacum the house do the laundry. Nothing is more romantic than have your partner feel that you are worth it and not doing it because they want sex. Little notes are always a help but they must come from the heart. Call her up at work or home just to say I love you. Say it often and for no reason. Nothing is better than when I find my hubby looking at me and when I ask What he says "you know what I love you". Being romantic doesn't have to cost money it is a state of mind the grand gestures are great don't get me wrong but too many men/woman feel that they can't afford the flowers and jewerly so they do nothing. Love is a feeling that to express can cost very little when it comes from the heart.

Skyfall, you're so right about the money thing. That's why I hesitated to add several things. I also left out thinks that involve the kids because I didn't know if whoever this person is is married or has kids. I listed the things I did because I never got even one of them when I was hitched. Woulda been nice, though, LOL.

But I do know several women who don't like getting flowers or chocolates. And, for me, flowers were either for when I gave birth, for only one anniversary, or for when he'd done something wrong (he actually told our sons that men should always give flowers to get their women off their backs. Nice).



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2012 02:16PM by ducky333.

eta oops wrong place



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2012 02:24PM by ducky333.

I like to be outside in nature. Renting a cabin, yurt, taking the tent to a lake, or by the beach for two nights with time to play outside all day would be wonderful.

I actualy went on a date this summer where he invited me (unlike previous husbands who would not date after marriage), we went to a regular lunch type diner, we had wonderful pie in the afternoon, he paid for it, (unlike husband who asked me to pull the money out of my purse because it was "our" money after all), and while waiting for our friend to come out of the restroom, he stood next to me and hugged me and snuck a kiss or two! :D!

I think it is helpful to know a person's love language, do they like presents? or being listened to? or told I love you? or having things fixed? (wife barely mentions squeak in kitchen cupboard door and hubby oils it that afternoon)

I like a gift of flowers occasionally, especially if I know we can afford it. Someone who would put out something for beauty that would last a while and put fragrance and color in my home is just Wow! Also you can take a photo to remember it by.

Something to indicate you are being thought of; your favorite magazine you don't buy very often, candybar,music cd, etc.

When I do something you don't like much, and it's just a 'quirk' of mine, smile, laugh, and know that it's just me being me, and be glad of everything else I am to you.....after all, that's what I've been doing for you all along.

The biggest 'love killer' for me was the constant unhappy barrage of talk that came my way. The talk was all about what I could 'do' for him. If I asked for anything, a back rub, wash that last load of dishes, wipe off the table, put the towels away in the bathroom, he'd grump and grouse at me and do a half as* job. Then it would be back to why don't you learn how to change the oil in the car? Would you make sure you pick up my list of things I want when you're in town? (a list of five different stops and I have the kids with me that day and my own shopping involves five stops, and he didn't provide money for what he wanted me to pick up)
I remember getting up in the morning greeting him pleasently and not getting so much as a smile before 2 pm.! I like to be told thank you. Good manners mean you are not being taken for granted and you are appreciated!

clean my damn kitchen! That's the sort of thing that's "romantic" to me :)

Give her something stupid like a vacuum sweeper or a dishwasher for a gift! That's a Hafta-Have Thing and NO kind of Present at all! That makes it look like all you think of her is as the maid!

Give her something personal. Something HER. Something that looks like you know her.

It appears that all a person needs to be romantic does not cost large amounts of money but selfless thought and time.

It cannot be a one time thing or on special occasions but on a weekly unexpected basis.

Hope all the ladies get mileage from this post.

I had someone do this for me once, and I turned to instant goo:

This person took a big shoebox, covered both pieces it in white paper with ribbons all around it, and then when I opened it, it was filled with cut-out construction paper hearts. Dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of them. They almost filled up the box. And there were little words or notes or our funny sayings on them. It was THE sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.

We also used to play this game where we'd email or text the lines of favorite movies or tv shows to each other and make each other guess. This was when we were away from each other. You can find quotes on imdb, easy peasy.

I once made a video of ex-hubby's mission pictures put to music. He seemed to like that. It took forever. But people can do those things now a lot easier. Nothing would make a gal happier than to see that someone's taken the time to make a scrapbook, make a little video--anything that makes that person know they're valued. Big things don't always count. It's those little unexpected things that do.

I can't say my ex never did anything romantic, cause he did. He once got surprise tickets for us to go see the MoTabs at Christmas (when I was a TBM)--he hates that kind of music--and it was the best present he ever gave me. He also took me to the theatre once to see a play, also not his thing, but he did. And once, when a little tiny article of mine was picked up by a big newspaper, he went all over town finding every copy he could. Those things were sweet and romantic cuz they were out of his comfort zone.. He wasn't always clear on what romance was, but he wasn't a total deadhead either. So had to clear that up lest he sound like a total loser.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2012 03:29PM by ducky333.

When something I did positively or liked was mentioned long after it happened, rather than a negative mistake I made that I regretted and had apologized for, wow, that was cool.

Honest communication.

In addition, sprinkle some fun stuff here and there, like unexpected little notes or whatever, and yeah, you got me.

I have friends who want things, things, and more things. For me, a healthy communicative relationship with simple gestures added would be awesome.

Something that will make me happier than anything and I find it romantic is not having to ask for things. When my husband does things that need to be done rather than I have to ask. Take a look around and do it. Doesn't have to be big thing either replace the soap/paper/towel/garbage. Nothing is worse than seeing a grown person see a full garbage can and try and stuff more in it rather than change it. I have heard the I don't know what needs to be done well open your eyes you never have to ask for dinner/lunch. Know one has to ask me to get food from the store, do the laundry. Imagine if everytime you wanted dinner you had to ask your spouse and they said well I would have but I didn't know what to do? Romace can be a simple as treating your spouse like you would a stranger you have invited into your home. You wouldn't go get a drink for yourself and not offer them one. Think of all the things your spouse does for you and return the favor. Mind you if you have money bring home their fav desert or some perfume for no reason would be nice. If you can't remember things then write them down put them in your wallet things like clothing sizes watch the things she looks at to find out her style buy what she likes and remember to tell her how she looks even if she disagrees with you inside nothing is better than a parter telling you that you look sexier now than the day we married and mean it. If you think she has changed in looks then take a look in the mirror bet you aren't the same as you were either. I have been married for 30 years and my hubby tells me at lest 10 times a day he loves me. Wakes me up with a kiss and a love you and always the same thing at bedtime or when he leaves the house and it has never gotten old but when he calls from work and I say did you want me to do something and he says no just call to remind you that I love you. When you have kids they tend to always come first but it takes so little time to kiss your spouse first it also teaches your children that their parent is important and should be valued. But if everytime you do a romantic gesture you think of it as a prelude to sex then even if that isn't what you intend that is how they will see it (payment) . I guess what I am trying to say long winded is honest effort to do something nice is romantic anyone can call and order flowers or stop and buy chocolate but if you are going to buy something make it something she likes(that candy she use to buy when you were dating and just had to have) not what you like that piece of sleepware if she wouldn't buy it for herself even if it was free don't do it. Also make sure you know her sizes nothing kills a clothing gift then to find out it is 4 sizes too small even if you plead "that is how you look to me" she hears you are not important enough for me to look in the closet to see what size I wear and no she is most likely not the same size as the sales girl who is 20 bet she know your sizes off the top of her head. Real and long lasting romance is the little things over time not just for holidays and those are the things she will tell her girlfriends about and they will be wanting that kind of spouse too. Grand gestures are great but are hard to keep up a loving hug a whispered word can be worth gold. Look at those who are married happily for 50 years they never talk about the big gifts it is the little things.

For me, it's the little things every day, more than the monumental gestures.

~ Holding my hand
~ A touch at the small of my back when we pass each other
~ A smile with adoration in his eyes
~ Saying "I love you" sincerely, and in different ways
~ Catching my eye across the room at a party, and winking
~ Stroking my hair
~ Cuddling
~ Back rubs
~ Foot rubs
~ Small gifts, even a single chocolate, or a handpicked flower
~ Thoughtful email or text
~ Surprise notes left for me to find

Be, like, the only dude on the planet who is honest (like, ALL the time), who listens (like, all the time), and with enough self-confidence to not be all needy, clingy, and pushy (like, all the time) and watch how your little acts get magnified tenfold.

Pitching in with dinner clean up

Running her a bubble bath in a candle lit bathroom

Bringing a yummy lunch (made by you) to her work

A single rose or a spring bouquet is always lovely

A light tender kiss that makes her head spin and wanting more

Surprising her with a favorite drink (coffee, latté, hot chocolate)

Using window markers to write messages on the bathroom mirror

Starting her car to be toasty warm on winter mornings

IMO it's the little things that are the biggest things...

Flowers, kisses, foot rubs... pah!

Never underestimate a good animalistic romp on the dining room floor.

;-)

Hahahahaha Spaghetti Oh wins!!!

Also, listen to Flyboy...he knows what he's talking about:):)

learn how to banter with her ;)

DH is a great example of romantic...

he cleans off my car when it snows, scrapes the ice off if it freezes

he clears the front path and driveway before work during the winter

he builds a fire when we are settled in to relax in the evening, asking me if he should put another log on or if I am tired and we should let it burn down. In the warmer weather this fire is in the fire pit outside, during winter, it is in the fireplace.

he stops for me to shop for alternative foods (due to food allergies) when we travel as I can't get them at home.

when I have been away from home he greets me at the door with a smile and kisses and hugs.

he takes care of his health and eats well so we have the best chance of enjoying our lives together with minimal illness (I do the same for him).

Romance is as others have said, simply being present in your relationship and communicating it with your partner in ways that make sense to them.

When there are projects to do, tackle them together and compliment strengths, especially if they are complimentary to yours. Whether traveling and one is the pilot and the other navigator or building something and one stabilizes while the other saws or secures there can be romance in anything if you want there to be.