I hate TSCC. I switched meds for a day, and the new one helped in some ways, but eventually made me extremely depressed, so I took the old meds. When talking to TBM’s they do not empathize, or ask why I am depressed, because they already know the answer! They have ceased trying to verbally tell me their answer, because when they do I find the need to remind them why certain events in my life actually occurred. People chose to do bad things, and these things did not occur from imaginary sin, lack of prayer or tithing on my part, etc. I was a sincere TBM when the hell started. They have the habit of rewriting history to fit their gawd delusion. Although these tbm's can be nice on the surface, they are still thinking what they have said in the past: they think I should return to the cult, because everyone knows the lack of the one true cult in one's life, is the cause of all pain, and suffering. An imaginary sky daddy is required to pretend all your difficulties away, and become as dysfunctional, and deluded as them. Sometimes I think that is why they allowed me to go through hell they could have helped me out of - so my “trials” would bring me back to the cult. Too many ld$ minimize the suffering of others as a part of a grand plan. Words cannot express how much I hate the brainwashing, and how they treat me, because of their deluded script.



Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2011 05:39PM by atheist&happy:-).

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2011 05:43PM by atheist&happy:-).

I wish I had some magic words for you beyond what I would say if you were one of my own children. What I would say to them is, "You know better than to believe what they say, so why would you bother listening to them?" If you want support, mormons are clearly a terrible choice.

As for the TBM's, I do not believe what they say, but they are the last few people who do help me when I have an emergency. I do not listen to them, as I said, I am quick to remind them what really happened, and do not let them give me the lard's BS. I gladly give them reality checks when this happens.

Severe depression or suicidal feelings are both effects of TLE seizures, and certain meds. I know how to identify, and correct the hell, which is a gross understatement of how it feels.

Actually, the old meds work well for me, but my neurologist wanted me to try the new ones, because supposedly the side effects are always improving. If they could combine the good effects of both, my life would greatly improve.

I didn't say that and no, I don't mean that. Maybe my response didn't sound supportive, but I felt every word you wrote. I don't think I express myself well.

and may not know another way to react. I was wondering out loud how some threads rise to the top, while people who need support are sometimes ignored. You said mormons are a terrible choice for support, so it is not unreasonable to think some exmos would likewise be terrible.

I have learned to keep to myself. TBM's make it worse, because so many lack true empathy, and understanding. However, sometimes they ask me questions, and their lack of understanding, while I do not expect it, is painfully obvious. This dredges up issues from the past, because I know where they stand on TSCC.

If a problem happens to a Mormon, it's because God loves them and wants to test and try them so they will grow and return to him some day.

If the exact same, to the letter problem happens to an inactive or apostate, it's because God is punishing them for their wickedness and trying to get them to return to the one "true" fold.

What's really, really creepy as far as I'm concerned is that they are so sure that what they have is happiness, that they refuse to consider any other alternatives, any better choices, any differing opinion. It's pride and hard-heartedness in it's most extreme form.

Please don't let it get to you. They are absolutely wrong so their opinion is invalid. Aggravating, but invalid.

I do not think they see that I am much happier free from the cult. More traumatized, but happier. If they did notice, they would rationalize it away, i.e. my happiness would not be "real", because "wickedness was never happiness". They do not look at the reality, and facts of suffering or joy, but instead go into judgment mode or follow the programming. For a people who claim we are gawd's children, and who want to save everyone, they sure know how to effectively deny people their humanity, and invalidate their suffering by their close mindedness. Their claims of concern contradict their behavior, which sets up barriers to actual concern, and minimizes the real pain, and suffering of others.

If I need help I ask, but we do not discuss religion any more. They used to talk down to me like a 2 year old when I told them I did not believe in gawd. Now they just don't say it.

The passive-aggressive things really bother me, and that they never ask the question why? Their minds cannot even comprehend that my suffering is legitimate, whether unfair or simply from the wrong meds. Their minds only allow for divine punishment or "trials". They cannot acknowledge that I did not deserve what happened to me (no one deserves it), but at the same time they excuse the "priesthood" for causing it.

I agree about the illusion of happiness. The cult is so destructive, because all the set opinions, and instructions on how to think come from the top. It is incredibly narrow-minded, and not the way I grew up. They have no clue how to choose happiness for themselves.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2011 07:14PM by atheist&happy:-).

what is tscc?? don't mean to sound crazy, but i was just curious. (almost a member here)(just days when scheduled baptism was to take effect)

deb 49 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> what is tscc?? don't mean to sound crazy, but i
> was just curious. (almost a member here)(just days
> when scheduled baptism was to take effect)


The So-Called 'Church'. It's in reference to how the cult views others & refers to them as 'so-called'; ie 'so-called' gays etc.

Until the past few years, my relationship with my mother has been a rather strained one. Somewhere inside, we feel that our loved ones are supposed to, well, love us, and support us.

I had to come to terms with the fact that my mother is simply not good at empathy. Her needs always come first. I don't particularly like that about her, but I've finally come to accept that it's just who she is.

She's a good woman. She just isn't good at empathy. If I'm sick, she'll get me a bowl of soup. But, if I try to talk to her about a problem, she'll always manage to tell me that it's my own fault. Her view of me and my view of myself are rather different. She gives no credit for growth. She'll be like, "You've always been like this," and I'll say, "Mom, I haven't been like that in 20 years." Stuff like that.

But for some reason, I guess because she's my mother and I had the idea that you're supposed to go to your mother for emotional support, I did the insanity thing. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

As CA girl pointed out, life for a TBM completely revolves around the Church. You're supposed to be happy in the Church, and if you're not, then there's something wrong with you. You can't change how they think.

Sometimes I still test my Mom out and try to share something with her. I don't know if it's some sort of perverse thing inside of me which is just daring her to say something critical or what, but somewhere along the line I managed to take away her power to hurt me with it. Maybe it's simply because I managed to accept her as she is and concentrate on her good qualities. But things have been pretty great between us for a few years now and I never thought I'd see that day.

It's nice, because she just turned 83 and now when I eventually lose her, I'll just miss my Mom. Before, it would have caused quite an emotional firestorm in me because of all the unresolved issues.

Maybe she has recognized that I've taken that burden off of her shoulders for being responsible for my emotional well-being, and she has relaxed a little too. I'm not sure.

I guess my point in all of this is that I can't change my Mom. She's pretty darn set in her ways. I had to begin reacting differently to her, and somehow, somewhere along the line, we managed to make peace with each other. She's actually even complimented me a few times now too, which is something she'd never done before. I about fell over. LOL

Even though it sucks, you're the one who needs to adjust how you relate to the TBMs, because they're stuck in a cult and they're not likely to adjust their thinking or their rigid ways.

You'll find that once you adjust your expectations - lower what you expect from them - that it will actually help you to find peace, and it will take away the sting from their judgmental attitudes.

It takes a little time, but for myself, I found that it was worth the effort. I finally, for the first time in my life, have a pretty nice relationship with my Mom.

A few years ago, when I was talking about my Mom, my sister said to me, "Man, you're one angry woman." At some point in time, I suddenly realized that the anger was just gone. I don't know when it happened, but it did.

I think I'm the one who ended up doing the adjusting, but for me, it was worth it.

In a way that is how I dealt with my dad; I essentially gave up the expectation that he could or would be a "normal", caring parent.

I am glad I have good memories of my mother to cancel out my dad. My mom was great, but she died before I was a teenager. Had she lived I would have known her even better, and we probably would have fought more, but I know we would have been friends. My mother defended me, let me be my own person, and I admired, and respected her. She worked as city clerk before she died.

I agree that I cannot change how they think, and agree about adjusting. I just wish I was not surrounded by so many of them, and dependent on them at times.

I do need to be on guard for the questions, and conversations - they have concern, but it usually carries the price of being filtered through dogma, even if not meant to deliberately hurt me.

For me, hormone changes can trigger seizures. I avoid a lot of foods that increase estrogen levels.

I reached a point where the benefits of meds outweighed the side effects, but at that time I was also misdiagnosed. Nevertheless, AED's are notorious for their side effects, but there are times when they are a miracle, and a huge relief. I do best when I take as little as possible, because I am sensitive to chemicals. When I do take it, and the AED's effect wears off, and it is like a small withdrawal I suppose. I cannot imagine a larger withdrawal.

TBM's do have a great ability to overlook the obvious in favor of their pet dogmatic excuses. It is great you can identify the real causes of your emotional pain, not the ld$ set-in-stone excuses, because it makes recovery better.

I may not switch meds, because the one I have is fine most of the time, but I definitely find benefits with the new one. They can be taken together.