http://www.npr.org/2013/01/14/169066917/retired-bishop-gene-robinson-on-being-gay-and-loving-god

Excerpt:

I don't care whether any couple, gay or straight, has sexual intimacy or not. That's not my business. That's their business. But to require someone to give up this piece of one's life, which is so central to who each of us is as a human being, just seems cruel ...

I'm gay all the time. I'm gay right this minute, talking to you. It affects how I relate to the world, how I relate to people.

... this notion that it's okay to be gay as long as you don't act on it. First of all, I think that statement is disingenuous. The people who make that statement don't act at all as if it's okay to be gay ... taking them at their word, when do you become gay?

I laughingly will say to a more conservative audience, "Okay, if it's okay to be gay and not act on it, could two men live together? Could we sleep in the same bedroom if we slept in twin beds? Could we sleep in the same bed if we didn't touch each other? Could we touch each other as long as we only held hands?

At what point is it gay? ... It just doesn't make any sense. It comes out of what I think is a very male understanding of sexuality, which is that you are only being sexual when you are making love.

The fact of the matter is, we are sexual all the time, and this bifurcation of being gay versus acting just seems to me ludicrous at best and cruel at worst. ...

I'd like to see just one heterosexual who suggests this as a solution put his/her money where his/her mouth is and completely abstain from heterosexual sex.

Exactly, bc. I agree.

I'd also like to point out that the continuum of one's sexuality is exactly that, a continuum. There is no point at which you can say, "In this act I am gay or straight, and in this act I am not."

I posted the excerpt here because Gene Robinson's comments so plainly apply to the mormon idiocy of trying to separate being gay from acting gay. Talk about a recipe for psychological disaster.

Furthermore, there's no description of "acting gay while living," for example, that can be cleanly separated from "not acting gay while living." If a straight man sensuously fingers the cloth of suit he is thinking of buying, is he acting gay? If he is enthusiastic about the performance of a male chorus, is he acting gay? If Middle Eastern men hold hands in public, are they acting gay?

The whole thing is a big muddle, and is based on restrictions that cannot be applied in the real world.

At about the 33:30 mark in the interview, the topic of ex-gay ministries, gay reparative therapy, and "praying the gay away" come up. It's a good discussion.

"... offering communal support for white-knuckling your way though life trying not to act on being gay..."

If you are an atheist, you may have to wade through quite of bit of Bishop Robinson's hand-waving and blather about God, but the nuggets of real-life wisdom about being gay are really well-expressed.