My 19-year-old daughter has post-partum psychosis. She tried to commit suicide Friday night. A social worker and I discovered her at 7:30 am Saturday morning. The original plan was to keep her baby in our home and make us his guardians. Then the court record of our adopted Russian daughter, Sasha, came up. (She had Reactive Attachment Disorder. We disrupted the adoption in 2008 because of physical abuse/violence toward our handicapped toddler). According to guidelines, they are unable to place my grandson with us.

So our 3-month-old grandbaby is in foster care tonight. His crib is empty. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. His mom is in her 3rd psych ward THIS YEAR (yes, 2013). DH and I have been given power of attorney to be her health proxies.

I just got off the phone with my sister. She lives 2,000 miles away but she might take the baby.

What a mess.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2013 05:03PM by shannon.

I'm sorry.....It's going to be a long road, but things will get better from here.

Shannon, I'm so sorry. Hopefully your sister can take the baby for now and your daughter will eventually recover.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that.

so sorry Shannon. My thoughts are with you. I hope the baby is in good hands.

You've deserved better. Love and good thoughts.

I've been following you threat and I too am sorry for all the pain your family has suffered. I hope things start to turn around for you and your loved ones...and soon!

Oh my, Shannon. I'm crying for you. This is so much pain for you do deal with. Please know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome eventually.

(((Hugs)))

TG

Thank you TG . . . out of all the people, in all the world, I was hoping you'd see this thread. Thank you. ((((virtual hug)))).

The wholly, hugely ironic thing about all of this, is that we did EXACTLY what we should have done, according to counsel, in Sasha's case. It just looks so horrible in the court records: "child abandonment." We forced the state's hand so that they would HAVE to provide the psychiatric inpatient treatment she needed.

Today, Sasha is a functioning, member of society and law-abiding adult. She is a treasured member of our family again and continues to receive ongoing treatment from the state. Today she got engaged to her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years - a wonderful guy with a steady job who has had 2 promotions and a transfer in the past couple of years. They live near Orlando.

We did the right thing with Sasha's case. We have a chance to convince a judge to reverse the placement. The origianl court case ruled in our favor, so the Judge can change the baby's placement if he chooses.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2013 05:29PM by shannon.

I'm so glad to hear about Sasha. I hope she'll be happy in her marriage.

What a roller coaster day for you and your family. One daughter's post-partum psychosis, and another daughter's happy plans for marriage.

I hope, hope, hope that the judge will rule in your favor and allow you to care for your grandbaby. What a heartbreaking situation you're in.

My best to you.

TG

Did sasha have insurance? Russian kids have ALOT of problems.

(((hugs))) I hope your grandson can be placed with family. I'm so sorry for all your difficulties.

I guess one bit of silver lining is that you are more free to help your daughter. I'm sorry, this must be like having your heart removed. Sending fairy dust your way.

Thanks for the update on Sasha. I hope your new problems have the same happy ending.

Oh my. This is a difficult time for everyone. My best wishes to you that you can work this out in the best interest of the child.

This is so very sad.

Here's hoping you and your husband present the best, strongest unified front so that your grandbaby will come home to all of you. As you well know, what is in the best interest of the child is the critical factor for the court's determination of ultimate placement. Be sure to write down everything ahead of time--plan what you will say without emotional hindrance while readying yourself for anything thrown at you to test you in court (easy for me to say, huh?). The judge will be watching you and dh intently. Thus, be prepared, be prepared, be prepared.

Wishing you and your entire family the very best. My heart goes out to your daughter. She's dealing with a great many emotions few of us would care to visit for even an hour. I hope she is receiving the best of care.

I'm so sorry. I hope things work out soon. I have mentioned elsewhere that I interned with a company that works with foster homes and group homes. Older kids have difficult times in these places, but the babies are loved and well taken care of. They will watch the baby until she can be back with her family. I've never met more caring people than those that work in infant foster services.

I'm glad Sasha is well. Phew!

All will work out with the wee one. You're strong, and you do your damnedest for kids. You're amazing, Shannon.

I know your heart is hurting and I'm sorry.

Are you in Utah? If so please know that Utah is a great state for foster care family's. Here are a couple of tips I know as a foster parent. First demand visits. From the caseworker to the judge, and if they are holding you back call your state ombudsmen office. Second be nice. To the caseworker and the foster family. Tell the foster family thank you for caring for my grandson untill we can get this figured out. This lets them know you appreciate them and that they shouldn't be hoping and praying for adoption. Third your daughter has a right to name a placement. This means if she has a family friend or relative that can pass a background check and home study the state is required to place with this person. This is important because it can change your access to baby, and let's the state know you know some laws. Lastly go to adoption dot com then the foster care forum. There is a wealth of knowledge there.

If you want to chat more, please feel free to email me. Ask the mods for my email as I don't post it here.

If your in Utah I can help you look into the foster family/caseworker/judge that has your grandsons case and give you the inside scoop on them.

Best of luck. I'm rooting for you.

It sounds like it is time to get a lawyer and to start to appeal. Normally every blanket rule can be appealed if there is a good reason to do so.

A grandbaby is a piece of your own heart. I know. I have some of my own!

I wasn't aware that Sasha's life had been turned around and she got the help she needed. I'm glad to hear that.

I agree with Ducky - take legal action and DEMAND, DEMAND, DEMAND visitation. You've only just started bonding with that grandbaby, and you, of all people, know how important "attachment" is.

I really hope that things take a turn-around for your daughter, too. It sounds like she is in a very dark place just now. Take care of yourself, hear?

(((HUGS)))