They closed the other thread while I was typing this so I'm going to start a new discussion of Tupperwhere's original thread.

I think a lot of recovery comes from getting away from whatever disease you are getting over. For example, if you have a disease where you get stomach cramps when you eat spicy food, you need to avoid spicy food so your stomach can heal. If you have a job that requires you to eat spicy food, it's almost impossible to not feel pain.

Those of us who are still surrounded by Mormonism, because of spouses, kids who don't want to lose certain friends, interfering family members etc. are going to find our "Mormon Malady" flaring up more often than those who've put some space between them and their triggers. I notice the more time I spend with non-LDS, the better I feel - it's soothing to my frayed former Mormon feelings. But I also agree that some wounds leave scars you have to live with. One of my friends got knee replacement surgery last fall. They are very happy now because their knee, while not completely at 100 percent, feels way better than their old, damaged knee. They are still recovering but looking forward to getting better and better. But they also have a wicked scar on their knee that, according to this friend, probably won't get much less noticeable.

It's like that with Mormonism - even if you do recover, even if your "life replacement" is better than before, you'll probably still have a wicked scar. Or badge of honor, depending on how you look at it. It may not hurt, but you'll see it from time to time.

100% agree. I've come to the conclusion that while my life gets better and better every day, my recovery from mormonism will be ongoing for the rest of my life. That's just how it is.

And that's why I came back to RfM...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2013 12:16PM by kolobian.

I have many addictions but this helps because it tells me that I don't have to concentrate on the stupid church, I can be more authentic in my approach. I serioulsy just got the hiccups just now though!

I'm not saying one doesn't exist.

Just begging the question, "how would you even know you're recovered if you don't know what that means?"

I consider myself fully recovered from Mormonism. Here's how I can tell:

- I can engage in conversations with Mormons (family and friends) about Mormonism or religion in general without feeling anxiety or stress or feeling that I've got something to prove. I just don't get incensed when they try to push their religion on me. I'm able to posit my arguments logically and passionately. (In the past, in such encounters, I'd feel defensive, my stress levels would rise, and I'd find myself getting emotional and flustered.)

- I attend Mormon meetings or functions (occasionally, due to family, I get guilted into them) and I feel oddly out of place and everything seems so strange, bordering on the bizarre. I usually leave thinking, "I used to think that was NORMAL!" These sorts of things remind me that I've left that part of my life far behind.

In general, I just feel very comfortable being not Mormon. I feel very comfortable being non-religious and agnostic. No one can fluster me by telling me that I ought not be these things. I don't feel like I have to defend my position to anyone. When someone starts spouting off religious mumbo-jumbo, I just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes, or (if I'm forced into a response) have no problem saying, "I just don't believe that."

I could not tell you the best path out of Mormonism and to recovery. But I think it helps to surround yourself with friends and acquaintances that are not Mormon or (perhaps even better) were Mormon but are now out of the Church. Being able to candidly (and often repeatedly) discuss your grudges against the Church with friends that will affirm your observations or can sympathize with them is important.

Also, going against certain prohibitions of the Church (albeit safely and legally) may help. Learning to enjoy alcohol, coffee, and the occasional cigar has been great for me.