"The Church" continently refuses to acknowledge that their teaching system, of constant put downs and criticisms veiled in “we’re only trying to make you a better person”, causes despair in some people because they have sacrificed so much and being obedient to the Church program have chosen to put the Churches demands 1st in their lives and now the promised happiness is unobtainable.
The member realizes that they will never be good enough or perfect enough to be happy and the teaching have taught them that it must be their fault and the system teaches them not to reach out to professional mental health services just counsel with your Bishop, pray, pay and obey and everything will be all right.
So the cult victim never considers that anything may be wrong with their Church, its teaching or its counsel.
"Peace and love to all of us as we deal with our struggles in getting out of the Morg. It isn't easy for most of us. You don't just give up the church-you give up everything. But the rewards to me of being able to think for myself, intellectually grow every day, set me free from the prison."
If you read this, please email me. I am an ex-mo in Jacksonville, FL. I had all of my children re-baptized Catholic (the church in which I was raised before I converted to Mormonism as a young adult).
I resigned in 2007 with all of my children. (My husband did not - he is a Jack Mormon). I no longer have contact with my Utah in-laws either, as they are horribly arrogant and judgmental.
I work with special needs children, too.
I was active when your husband committed suicide. I'm wracking my brain to place you and your story. I wonder if we were in different stakes??
If you need a local friend with lots in common (and close to your age), please email me at shannonjax59@aol.com.
I'm so sorry for your loss and pain.
Love, Shannon
P.S. I don't know how to post on the other board. If someone knows "Kelly," please forward my message to her. Thank you.
There are often high stakes involved in leaving Mormonism. While my own journey out was hard, I must say that there are many whose journeys were much, much harder than mine. I have the deepest respect for those of you who left after having children and after having spent considerable time and money in the process. Reading stories like Kelly's make me incredibly sad and angry.
People need to be warned about Mormonism. It is easy to join, far too easy in my opinion. But it is damned hard to get out. And even then, they don't leave you alone entirely. Run away, people! Run as fast as you can! There's nothing this cult has to offer you but lies, heartbreak, and pain.
That is the only way it can be best understood in my observation and experience. Joining the LDS Church as an 8 yr old BIC or as a convert, etc., results in being ensconced in a tightly woven, inclusive, 24/7, generational, familial, traditional, cultural, religious tribe.
Leaving it is almost always going to be extremely difficult as the defector has rejected everything and in the view of the members, rejected them personally, also.
Nope. Not easy to get out, especially if it's your main family and culture.
It's no surprise to me that many prefer to stay in their generational culture and pick and choose what they want to believe.
Sad and tragic ending for the husband/dad, but there is a silver lining in that the rest of the family has been set free from the clutches of a heartless, clueless cult.
"Kids are First", you didn't cause your husband's depression and resulting suicide. Your first thought was correct: it was someone really decent and honest trying to be a perfect everything because his community expected it of him. God knows many of us have been there and suffered similar depressions and forms of madness. I came close to shooting myself in the head several years ago for failing, in my eyes, to achieve the cult's insane goal of "perfection".
I loved how one of the children flipped off the self-appointed authorities in a "court of love"! Way to go! Would've done the same thing, except I'd have given an hour long speech to those idiots.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2013 09:05AM by charles, buddhist punk.
Shannon, Kelly hasn't logged in at postmormon for over two years. I'll send her a PM there with your message, but if you don't get a response, it's very likely because she hasn't logged in there.
I knew or knew of just about every active family in this area. The news of a former Stake Prez shooting himself in his backyard here would have spread like wildfire through the Mormon gossip mill.
I'm not sure she really lives in this city. Perhaps she disguised some of the details of her post (as I would) to protect her family's anonymity.
In any event. I believe the story and it is tragic. There are moments when I HATE the Mormon church. This is one of them.
Geesh, her husband killed himself. My heart goes out to that poor woman.
The other part of me thinks how (bleeping) selfish he was to do it at home to be 'discovered' by his family.
Policies were a little different back then. A fellow teacher failed to call in sick for a couple of days, I went to his house, with another teacher who was as concerned as I. We knew where his secret key was hidden and we went in. He did not kill himself, died of a heart attack, but I will always remember seeing him.
At least that woman has found peace in another caring church community.