Maybe it's just my ward but it never ceases to amaze me that when I had a few questions about the church, the ward rushed to condemn me without giving me the benefit of the doubt or even asking what was going on. Having hung out on RfM since then, I realize it's standard operating procedure with a lot of Mormons. What I don't understand is WHY on earth they think the kids would want to still come to anything at church when they see how their parents are treated. And why do they think they can do an end run around the parents and invite the kids to activities they must realize the parents are against?

Bishop Buttercream dropped by our house personally today and in his best Relief Society Sister voice, invited the kids to come to a fireside tomorrow night about trek next summer. My kids NEVER go to church, never go to seminary, my son never goes to YM and my daughter only very occasionally goes to YW when they are doing a fun activity like beach volleyball. Why on EARTH would he think they would want to go on a pioneer trek? And why would he think that my kids would want to go to a church when they see how ward members treat their parents - like a naughty boy and girl who should be shunned or scolded until they come to heel.

I'll tell you why. This was a common technique we used in Primary - to try to activate the children and when the parents saw how the children benefitted from the church, in theory their hearts would be softened and they would return to activity. In reality now looking at it from the opposite side, it's a very threatening move to go after someone's children. Wouldn't it be smarter to build bridges with the parents and let the parents bring the children back? Rather than acting like sneaky child predators, I mean. How would they feel if I started giving their children links to this website and Mormon Think?

Mormons - unbelievably clueless since 1830.

I ALWAYS get in between the mother moose and the baby.

Then I start herding the baby away while saying, "Come with me - your mom's just a stupid bitch anyway."

It works incredibly well for me every time.

It's even more of a rush to get between a bear and their cub. But even that doesn't compare to getting between a human mother and her child.

I think I understand what is causing your health problems. Having the doctors check your last MRI scan for the hoof marks that they missed on your spleen.

The TSCC has attempted to use both of my kids, multiple times. One of the best was a few years ago while my son was still in HS. He met a girl in AP Stats he really liked and they started going out. Turns out, this girl that was in the church. He didn't know she was initially and she didn't know he was "inactive," until the ward leadership told her.

He immediately became a reactivation project. Y'all get that, I'm sure. Unfortunately for TSCC, it did not have the desired effect. Instead of developing a testimony of TSCC and wanting to be with this girl for eternity, he got tired of her wanting him to go to church with her all the time and telling him he should go on a mission in a couple of years. He attended a few YM activites while they were dating which were basically video game nights but they weirded him out.

Now, I must say, my son is kind of a computer freak. He builty his own computer and loves his video games, However, he said a whole group of teens plus two or three mid thirties guys who were more into it than the teens (and, he noticed, the guy whose house these were at treated his wife like a servant!) was just too weird.

The charms of the pretty LDS girl just couldn't compete with the lack of brain function required to hang on to her, so he cut her loose, to my great relief and joy (which I kept under wraps, of course!). More stories, but enough for now.

My son went through something similar with a TBM girl he liked. With a little subtle help from me, he noticed how manipulative she was being and now they are just friends. Big relief. One thing I've always done is point out to my kids when Mormons are behaving badly. It kind of bugs DH, who thinks people should get credit for good intentions but it helps my kids see friendshipping for what it is.

Another similar story here. DH and I haven't resigned, but we know TSCC is a crock. Son became friends with a Mormon girl he knew at school. She immediately started taking him to her ward (where her dad's the bishop) and all the activities. For a while he was interested in her, and it was all good.

He doesn't like her anymore (partly because she's the clingy, overly-bubbly Molly-Mo type), so lately he's been avoiding Sunday meetings by being "sick," forgetting to launder his church clothes, etc.

The girl and her family have actually been genuinely nice to DH and I, but it was easy to tell that my son was their "project." He finally figured that out.

I have an expression I use with my son for being very careful about getting involved (in a less-than-healthy way) with church stuff, girls (TBM in particular), and all other stupid things that could mess up his future, etc. It's a little crude, but it drives the point home nicely... "Don't stick your dick in crazy."

That's the arrogance I've noticed with Mormon people. They believe their religion is so right and perfect that it's a required belief.

It's like they're trying to prove that point by harassing you.

I get harassed all the time by Mormons because they're trying to prove the point that they're better than me.

They won't break me down. Not anymore. Almost have a few times, though :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2013 12:46AM by liminal state.

It can be hard, no question. Do you live in UT, liminal state? If you're constantly surrounded and bombarded, really hard. Hang in there.

When my daughter was going to church with one of her TBM friends (because there was a cute boy she liked, basically), she didn't believe me when I told her that she was now the subject of meetings by TSCC people on how to get her into the church.

So she asked her friend, who told her yes, they did talk about her in meetings and didn't even think it was weird. My daughter was totally freaked out, felt like she was being stalked. Which she was. Thank God my kids saw through the crap, I really feel for those whose kids and spouses are still entangled.

that he didn't come for us. He came for the kids.

I don't think he thought that comment through from a parent's point of view.

All the sudden, the candy and coloring books he brought for them seemed more creepy than ever.

I "fired" him shortly after that.

WHY do they think it's okay to groom underage kids for church?

The rest of the world calls that a Predator.

The Mos don't operate under the usual socially accepted rules of conduct. They are governed by a sense of self-entitlement.

And if you ask questions they will condemn you because they are very insecure (understandably so) about their house of cards.

Keep calling them out.

It never hurts to ask, right? Sure they're mother isn't interested in Mormonism whatsoever, and the kids never go to Mormon church or any of its related activities -- but maybe they'd like to go on a grueling "trek" experience for a chance to be like Mormon pioneers. What would it hurt to ask? (???) Don't these people ever burn out on being shameless tools?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2013 09:03AM by Makurosu.

Is it time for you and your kids to resign?

As long as they are members of the church the bishop and others will see it as their duty to invite them. As long as they are members of the church you are implying that it is OK to invite them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2013 10:31AM by bc.

We would but my husband, who is currently inactive, doesn't pay tithing, makes comments about the church spends it's money etc. still claims Mormonism is a good way of life and Mormons mean well. I'm not sure he even entirely believes it, I think it's just all he knows having grown up in a very large, extended TBM family and he's kinda scared to take off on his own. He's been extremely cool with my not believing (buying me a coffee maker and getting me a cool gold cross necklace from Ireland) and I think he's relieved to not feel he has to jump through all the Mormon hoops any more, but he's not ready to burn bridges yet nor is he ready to see his wife and kids do so. He's not outraged about the church enough to resign. It's the compromise we've come up with and in a couple years, when the kids are off to college, I'm hoping we can move - he's getting ready to move on too. Being away from Mormon friends and his family may help him change his mind about starting over.

That's right - I knew that. Thanks for the explanation. Arg.

The only thing Teens love more than reenacting zealot handcart treks, is spending hours on a beautiful sunday afternoon being told not to play with themselves

+100!

The Mos are unable to engage the parents, because that would mean they have to talk like adults, and possibly address adult issues squarely. This they cannot do.

So they go for the kids, and try to apply a "program". This way they don't have to face anything, and yet they feel they are doing something for gawd.

The church approves of this, because they live by the programs and by peer pressure more than by truth.