so as you may or may know the fridge profet is spreading truth and light to all his duck like FB friends still standing on the pier he lept off.

this of course is an effort to help them to learn a little critical thinking before opening the door to the tall cool one where they will see the light.

I have noticed that like this post
http://gentlyhewstone.com/2012/06/03/a-response-to-salons-but-im-a-good-mormon-wife-article/

the typical TBM approach involves assumption of immens levels in an effort to brace up the shelf, I personal have clearly stated my opinion or point of view several times only to have a comeback of assumption. if any of you have had luck countering the constant assumptions of how you must feel no matter what you clearly say what you say, let me know

Your TBM friends didn't even address the issue in question. Lots of testimony bearing and lectures on the atonement. Sheesh!

Is there a way to combat cognitive dissonance?

When the writer of the linked post can make this comment:

"For someone who calls herself a “scholar” in her own article, she doesn’t seem to know the difference between doctrine and urban legends, and she seems ignorant of some obvious facts that contradict her new worldview . . ."

and then make THIS commnet:

"Regarding the hieroglyphics, how can we know whether or not any symbol ever had a certain meaning in any time or place? Maybe some of those interpretations are only for our time and place. So claiming that any are in error is subjective. What’s objective is all the hieroglyphics he clearly got right . . ."

well, there's just nothing you can do. You've just encountered a logic-proof mind. Better to sigh and walk away.

Over the years, I have been the victim of verbal lashings because I dared to question. Unfortunately, the people delivering the verbal lashings were very dear loved ones. I stopped speaking with them for a time and I was very angry that they didn't bother to understand my point of view. But I didn't want to go through my life not speaking with them and being angry about it, so I tried to give them the understanding that they did not give me.

You like to refer to the shelf that people put concerns on when they don't know how to deal with them. The question to ask is why can't they deal with them. For some, their whole identity revolves around being Mormon and you are going to come along and tell them it's all a fraud. You are taking away their sense of self and most people would fight you on that. I've been fighting for years to regain my sense of self after it was systematically stripped from me growing up. I can relate to that.

Others, have been deeply hurt and the church gives them a purpose for their hurt. They were being tried and tested, through the atonement Jesus takes on all our pains, etc. Feeling like you are not hurting in vain or that there is a future free of this hurt is very powerful. Heck, we are all here trying to work through our hurt. Different people deal with hurt differently. I can relate to that.

I'm sure there are other reasons why people hang onto their beliefs even when they don't make sense but those are the two that I've seen the most. The key is that when that shelf comes down, it's not just these false beliefs that go away there are other things that go away and it's the other things that people are protecting even if that means turning a blind eye to a blatant falsehood.

When people don't feel that their shelf is in danger of collapsing they are more likely to listen rationally. I've had some success in getting my loved ones to think about their assumptions with a word here or there. Primarily, I try to show them another perspective, one that is harmed by the belief in question. Basically, my loved ones are good people and they respond when they see the hurt caused. My biggest challenge is keeping my own emotions in check so that the discussions don't escalate to the point where my loved ones feel attacked.

I recognize that if I could address the reasons why the shelf is so protected that may be more effective but I'll be the first one to admit that I'm probably not qualified. How do you get someone to adjust their sense of self away from Mormonism? If their identity is not tied up in the church they are not so protective of it. Some of these things cannot be forced they must happen organically.