Many years ago, I was chatting it up with a co-worker's boyfriend at a party. We were comparing our growing up experiences which were very similar. He had grown up in a small town in the south where most of the residents were Baptist. I grew up in a small town in Utah where most of the residents were... you guessed it! Mormon. At the time, I found the conversation enlightening because I was inactive and trying to deal with the judgmental and abusive behaviors I had experienced growing up. Until that point, I hadn't really thought that there could be other mainstream religions that were as messed up as the Mormons. In that moment, I thought... "maybe the church isn't so bad it's just human nature for a group of people to force everyone to conform". This was before I realized that many of the bad behaviors were institutional and actually taught by the church leadership past and present. I wish I had more information at the time, it would have saved me some further grief that resulted from giving the church a pass for a few more years.

Anyway, my point of this story is to ask about experiences others have had with different mainstream religions. Do they all employ some type of cultish behavior to keep their membership in line? How does the Mormon church compare? Is there some demarcation that differentiates a cult from a regular religion? I'm wondering how much blame for bad behavior goes to religion it general and how much the Mormon church is responsible for.

I "tried out" several brands of Christianity after mormonism. . . and it seems like most "ex" whatevers can recount cultish behavior.

Catholics talk about confession, guilty concise, parents upset about marrying non-catholics, birth control, abuse cover ups, etc.

Fundies talk about speaking in tongues and outward displays of faith to be considered legit. They ostracize people who believe in evolution, abortion, gay rights, etc. etc. A lot of them are very focused on paying a heavy tithe as well.

However, I think over the years it is much less "taboo" to a Catholic or Protestant family to see a person leave the fold. And while there are guilt tactics and damaged family relationships that happen, there really aren't membership numbers, revocation of temple blessings or having to choose a different underwear.

This matches up with my observations. I can't really speak from experience because I've never spent enough time going to other churches to get a true sense of their culture. Mormonism definitely pervades every aspect of ones life telling it's members what to wear, what to eat, how to spend their time, etc. Fundamentalist Judaism and Islam seem to be the other two that are so invasive into one's life.

From my personal experience, after years of living the Mormon lifestyle it is the guilt over changing some of my behaviors that seems to be the most difficult to overcome. For instance, I don't feel guilty about rejecting principles like polygamy but I feel guilty about having a cup of tea in the morning. Crazy I know!

I wonder if there are ex-Catholic or ex-Fundie discussion boards where they are complaining about the same things we are. I think I'll Google that later.

I am Methodist and I am not forced to believe anything. I attend when I want, do a job or not do a job for the church each yr., work on a mission project, camping assignment only if I choose to, no one bugs me with calls and visits to the door- but they would come by if "I asked them to". Mormonism is so different. YOU have no control. THEY do as they want to keep tabs on you. YOU can not compare Mormonism to MOST mainstream Protestants and the Catholic religion. Virtually nothing is the same.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/06/2013 12:28PM by honestone.

Thanks for your insight. I think I need to learn more about other religions. What you have described is the kind of religion that I would like to be a part of. I'm tired of getting guilt trips every time I talk to a TBM.

Some individual branches of mainstream churches have tried to introduce it to their individual church.