A family member undermined my rebuke telling the child (relation but not either of our child) to tell me a smart-arse response.

There was no modesty issue, just cleanliness and safety.

I believe this is a passive aggressive attack on me by the other adult, and said so.

Yeah, we need more details on this one. Unless its your daughter, or the girl was in immediate danger, you don't get to rebuke without repercussion here.

Source: I am a mom who has been known to let her child do cartwheels on ditty store floors. :)

Also, why the anon for this, just out of curiosity. Cartwheels aren't exactly sensitive issues in most cases.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 12:45AM by rqt.

Maybe Anon because CULT minions will find out their tag if if used due to the information given.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 01:03AM by ozpoof.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 01:04AM by Beth.

The store management should have a cow about that, and their insurance carrier certainly would!!

All around too dangerous to be doing cartwheels on a concrete floor in a grocery store. I'd say something.

And they would have a cow because it is very dangerous. A gymnastics/dance teacher would have a cow too because it is VERY DANGEROUS.

It is also rude to other shoppers.

I wouldn't actually be all that worried about the super market floor. Yes it is dirty, a lot of people walk across it, but so is every surface your child touches. A good strain of germs now and then are needed for your child to build an immune system, and as long as they wash their hands before eating, you should be okay.

That said, cartwheels in a grocery store is not only dangerous, but it is annoying. I am willing to bet she was not paying any attention to other shoppers, or the location of grocery carts or displays for herself to crash into.

forbiddencokedrinker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A good strain of germs now
> and then are needed for your child to build an
> immune system, and as long as they wash their
> hands before eating, you should be okay.


Meanwhile it's more harmful to the child and greater society to be breaking out the disinfectant and sanitizer all the time. All that does is kill off the weaker germs and create less competition for the stronger, disinfectant-resistant germs.

There is the sanitary issue but there is also the issue that you don't play in a store. She could hit someone or something (like knock over a display). Just innapropriate for being in a store.

My niece walks on her hands and my sister is not big on making her wash her hands before meals. It grosses me out. Also she picks up food and smells it, and puts it back, like a cookie on a plate of cookies. When she bakes with me she washes her hands with soap and water in the kitchen while I watch her. She plays with a her rabbit and the neighbor's dog and does not wash her hands and often eats food with her fingers. Her parents ignore it and I will say "shouldn't that be eaten with a fork?". Then they suddenly notice that she is eating her green beans with her fingers. She will be 10 in a two months and I think her eating manners are terrible.

There are some customers that may be extremely fragile.

It could literally kill some people if another person crashed into them, possibly breaking bones or doing internal damage. Usually you can't tell who these people are by just seeing them.

That would be my biggest concern.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 02:42AM by mia.

Give me a break. We should all be happy enough to do cartwheels!

I had to work very hard for about 5 years to get that judgmental Mormon quirk out of my system, once and for all. When you feel it building up inside you--stop yourself--just let go. Live and let live.

You make me wish I was straight.

1+
Getting bent out of shape because someone's kid did cartwheel on a supermarket floor...

What is really the beef, I wonder; the kid's safety or the OP's hurt ego because his/her authority got undermined by a relative?

The grocery store is not a playground. Clean floors or dirty floors, this is not a place for cartwheels. They shouldn't be rolling around on those heely shoes or climbing the shelves or running around either. They could hurt someone, hurt themselves, or knock over and break items on the shelf. At some point someone is going to say something about appropriate behavior and safety, hopefully the parent or person in charge of the child.

Is that you grandpa?

Although I agree with the mantra of "living and letting go", I do think that we need to foster appropriate behavior in children at a young age. I agree with the posters who commented that the germs aren't so much of an issue as the fact that it is inappropriate behavior.

An 8-year-old is old enough to receive and understand an explanation about why and how performing gymnastics in a grocery store is unsafe and impolite. You could make her start to harbor some compassion by asking "what if there is an old lady in a walker, or a baby in a stroller coming around the stroller? Or what if you knock things over and make a mess for the people who work here...a mess that could make other people slip and fall?"

I think that the bigger issue is the parent motivating the girl to make a snarky response. This girl is being raised in a culture that tells its members to submit blindly to the authority of strangers, yet she's receiving another message that authority of non-Mormon family members doesn't matter, even when that message is truly intended to look out for the safety of the child and others...a very, very confusing and disturbing message for a young person to receive.

Children are trained in schools on appropriate inside behavior for public buildings. This includes no running, no skating, and no cartwheels or other gymnastic movements. This is part of being considerate for one's fellow citizens.

I used to watch my fragile, elderly mother get a terrified look on her face when children would run by her in a store. After having broken some of my own leg bones, I often feel the same way. Will the parents of these children pay for my time off of work while I am recovering from a severe fracture?

If the parents of such children won't correct them, I will. In most cases, the kids really do know better.

Running, cartwheels, and so on belong outdoors on the grass, or on a playground, or in a gymnasium.

Sorry, but I'll say again and NOT anonymously.

I would let my child do cartwheels on the floor every day of the week.

Then I would wait to see what curmudgeons around me made a comment.

Then I would say, "oops, your judgment is showing."

It's not being stuffy to tell kids not to do cartwheels in a grocery store. If you cannot see the obvious danger to other people and to property that does not belong to the parent, then you have no business having kids.

I don't want some kid kicking me in the groin because she is "having fun" down the aisle, or breaking her tooth on my grocery cart. She can wait until they get home or the park to do gymnastics.

Sorry, but I can't see the danger. Better give my kids up to the state to raise since I have no business having them.

You really don't see a problem here?

Teaching your children appropriate behavior for appropriate situations is one of the most important functions of parenthood.

As a child who was very much into gymnastics, I can tell you straight up that I kicked my brother in the face at least 3 times doing handstands and cartwheels. That doesn't count the number of times I hit furniture and damaged myself. Imagine if I had kicked a stranger in a grocery store and done some damage.

The idea that whatever children do is ok is absurd.

You do know what a cartwheel is right?

I'm wondering if you do.

When the girl inevitably slips and falls, hitting something and breaking something, the parents will sue the grocery store and drive up your grocery bill.

Supermarkets are not gyms. The girl could hit someone or damage something. Tell her to go play in the park.

I'm less worried about my grocery bill being run up than I am about my health insurance going up (which is slated to double) next year because people smoke and over-nutritionize and spend more time clucking in disapproval at children than minding their own business and waistlines.

Judgment goes both ways.

Keep yours to yourself.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 09:23AM by rqt.

Personally, I think kids should be taught there is a time and a place for everything. Cartwheels are an outside activity unless you happen to be in a gymnasium. You don't see adults doing cartwheels at the supermarket, do you?

It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

I don't recall if I've seen an adult do a cartwheel in a grocery store. I suppose there probably are, somewhere.

However, I have seen an adult talk on their cellphone while driving.

I'd rather be hit by a 70 pound 8 year old doing cartwheels than a car driven by a distracted driver.

Raising kids is a crap shoot when it comes to public opinion. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Do I get on my kid's case for doing cartwheels in public spaces like grocery stores? You bet I do.

I also try and get them to notice the people around them. I want them to pay attention when someone is coming down the aisle and let them pass. Lately I've been teaching my kids to open doors for the people behind them because there's nothing more annoying than when someone casually lets a heavy door close in your face.

But here's the thing, I get flack from strangers who think I'm too strict with my kids on a pretty regular basis. My children are great, but they have personal space issues, and these issues aren't going to go away if I look the other way whenever one of them get in someone's face or just casually forgets to notice the feelings of those around them. It may be cute now, but in ten years no one is going to understand.

Anyway, for those who think doing cart wheels in a grocery store is fine, I can see your point of view too because I also get flack from strangers who think I'm too permissive with my kids. One gentleman even came up to me when my youngest was a throwing a tantrum in a store and started lecturing me on the importance of administering spankings.

As if dealing with the tantrum wasn't stressful enough already!

So, you see, where kids are concerned, someone always has an opinion, and there's just no way that you can please everyone. At the end of the day, all you can do is your best.

I love threads like this. They let me know who is actually considerate, and who thinks they and theirs are too good for common courtesy.

Considering only the cleanliness issue, whicch would you consider cleaner, the supermarket floor or the schoolhouse lawn where dogs poop and all manner of chemicals are sprayed?

I think children should be taught when and where things are appropriate to do.

The grocery store is not the venue for cartwheels.

I don't think it's about judging - I think we can all agree only a pretty bad parent would let their child do cartwheels in a supermarket. It's unclean, unsafe and just mean to your child because you are not teaching your child proper behavior, causing them to be thought of as badly behaved, dirty, out of control etc. When the truth is that they are probably nice kids who are neglected by their parents.

I think it's ridiculous to behave badly and when people look down on you for it, to behave even worse or place the blame for your bad behavior on the people it's annoying, inconveniencing, making unsafe. If you act like a jerk, get called on the carpet for it and then act like a bigger jerk, I PROMISE you are not bugging the person you say is judging you. You are proving them right, making them feel even more smug and superior than they felt before and confirming their judgment that you are, in fact, a socially inept jerk. Why would you want snotty, judgmental people to feel right and more superior than ever? I never understood people who acted worse when caught acting bad because why would you want to make someone judgmental and looking down on you to feel happy and justified?

Thanks for clarifying that I'm a bad parent.

My $.02 -

No issue with germs. All of our immune systems could use practice here and there.

I've had kids who were playing tag in Wal-Mart run into me. The parent had no control over her kids, and one was knocking stuff off the shelves to prevent the other from tagging him (like you see in movies). I wasn't terribly thrilled about being nearly knocked over, and I'm sure the employee cleaning it up didn't appreciate the extra work. Time and place, people.

Also, I reject the argument that adults do worse things by talking on cell phones while driving. In both cases, it should stop, but appealing to a worse situation doesn't make it OK. Otherwise I could say, "I would rather have people driving and talking on cell phones and running into cars than having a nuclear bomb dropped on the city."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 10:52AM by utahstateagnostics.

Here's why I made the cell phone argument - I would have no problem if someone told me to get off my cellphone while driving. The chance of death or dismemberment is quite a bit higher than a child doing cartwheels in a grocery store.

I do have a problem with people telling me I'm a bad parent and I'm endangering public safety over cartwheels.

Could someone send me the list, please, of what is acceptable child behavior and what isn't?

I'd like to know so I can keep my kids from doing anything on the list and being called a bad parent.

A scenario that could easily happen.

She does a cartwheel, hits an elderly lady and knocks her down. Her hip breaks. Most elderly women don't survive that. They usually die within 6 months of fracture.

She does a cartwheel. She hits someone who has been going through chemo and radiation. It took everything they had in them to get out of bed to go get something to eat at the store. They still have stitches, and may not be able to use certain parts of their body. Their balance isn't good. They may look perfectly normal to you, but if they get kicked, knocked into a shelf, or cart it could literally kill them.

Someone with MS looks just fine. They have very fragile bodies. Their balance isn't good. A little shove or push in the wrong way could knock them to the floor. They're injured and end up in bed. One problem leads to another and the develop pneumonia that can kill them.

You have no idea how fragile some people are. The store is a place that people have to go to in order to be able to eat. They shouldn't have to worry about someone's out of control kid that could put them in the hospital.

It's selfish, irresponsible, and just plain dangerous to let kids do whatever they want wherever they want. The grocery store is for buying groceries, it's not a gymnasium.

Whoever is responsible for the child at the moment could end up in a huge lawsuit if someone gets hurt. I can't think of anyone who would want to go through that. You could be sued by the store, and the person that got hurt.

A scenario that could just as easily happen. Youre so busy chiding someone else's child that you accidentally knock your cart into another shopper. They die. You are put in jail for manslaughter and have to eat nasty prison lunches for the rest of your life.

And that's the real tragedy of the whole thing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2013 10:21AM by rqt.

I don't chide other peoples children for misbehaving. I go to the store manager, and they will tell you to control your kid or leave. They don't want to be sued because you an irresponsible parent.

You chastising someone else's child was inappropriate.

Your family member using that child to give you a smart-arse response was passive-aggressive and inapropriate as well.

I have yet to see a child doing cartwheels in a store but I have seen things that are just as bad if not worse such as a child riding a bike down store aisles or trying out roller blades in the store also children laying on the bottom rack of a shopping cart while the parent is pushing it. A lot of the time the parents say nothing until something goes wrong or they break something the time so speak up is before it does and before someone gets hurt. More then once I was the one that said something, I did so because I am an employee and have no desire to see a child other customers injured.Just because I have no children of my own does not mean I don't know what proper behavior is.

Such a strange thread.