I just about threw up a big steamy meal directly on my keyboard.
Why is it that Mormons have to use the word tender in such a ridiculous way?
The only things that need to be tender are my steaks, my financial offers on land, and my buddy's date finder app (Tinder).
Why must they go and make it sound so awkward?
That and the word 'even!' Gordon B. Stinkley uses the phrase "even the Lord Cheeze and Rice amen" and the next thing you know people are working the word 'even' into every prayer, talk, musical number, daily conversation and AIM instant message (at the time) they can! Does saying what he says make them more holy?
Tender is one of those words that one of the Primary presidency ladies said during conference while all of the men were asleep once and everyone felt the need to emulate.
"The hearts of the children are tender." What? I've never heard someone use so many words to actually say nothing. Now, worse, I have to see TSCC members all over Facebook throwing the word 'tender' around like they're talking about a juicy T-bone.
GROSS. Tender is a gross word when used out of context. So is moist. So few things are truly moist. Unless you attach towellete to the end of that moist, you're grossing me out.
The vocabulary culture of the church is ridiculous. If Dieter gets up there one year and says, I testify that the Lord works through our buttholes to get to our hearts, I guarantee the next FaT meeting someone will testify that their buttholes have been tingling and someone will pray for the Lord to touch their buttholes.
I wish I could become a GA just so I could influence the lexicon of a mass amount of sheeple.
I testify to you that my butthole is tender in the name of our Lord and Savior, Even the Lord Joseph Smith, Amen.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/10/2013 04:20PM by mondaymorning.
As a nevermo married to a mormon with a tbm family, I don't like that one either. "Nourish and strengthen". It especially sounds weird to me when they say over a dinner that is less than healthy like pizza.
I also hate the word tender. It reminds me of a piece of meat.
Though I've known some people with synesthesia who don't like certain words, I've noticed a lot of women who aren't fond of that word, and just refer to it as the "m-word."
Gag. Think I need a bar tender. And just how do the RS Morgbots know "babies' hearts" are tender? This wouldn't happen to refer to certain horror movies, would it?
Great post. Every closed society/cult has their own lexicon. LDS Inc is particularly annoying because the body of the church is so eager to please the dear leader, they mimic every little thing.
"We're so very grateful for thy bounteous blessings and precious truths that have been spoken here today nourishing our souls, and may thy uplifting spirit be upon each of us as we travel to our homes from this wonderful meeting so we can break our fast with a double portion of tender moist loins to nourish and strengthen our bodies so that no harmer accident will come over us on as we travel to our homes while obeying the speed limits this beautiful sabbath day that we're so thankful for..."
Damn it! I just threw up on my laptop.
I feel so much better now.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/10/2013 06:36PM by Bite Me.
my family did the "please watch over us as we travel today" prayer once. My dad got pulled over for speeding. Luckily, the officer who pulled him over was a guy that he went to high school with and so he just gave him a warning.
I mean, the lard said we was good to go so we did because of that there prayer!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/10/2013 07:14PM by Tupperwhere.
I remember watching a general conference, and I think it was Hinkley, was giving a talk about senior missionaries. He stated that one couple had received a "tender" letter from their son telling them how proud he was and how they were a fine example . . . I griped and complained to my wife stating that no men I know would write a "tender" letter, unless it was to their favorite female and they were trying to score a little action. Men don't write tender letters. That was so feminine. It was one of those moments where I knew that I was not like the "leadership", and I never would be. Tender, you use tender in the world I live in, and it doesn't apply to food, you would get laughed at for being a wuss. I thought that the leaders were wimps then and I know that they are now. The wussies aint' man enough to accept the truth that the whole damn religion is a big damn lie.
I always think of tenderizing meat with a meat mallet when they use that word...don't know why, it just pops into my head. It just makes me ill the way they use it.
This was decades ago. I still remember it. Picture Johnny Carson in his "The Amazing Carnac" role. He touches the envelope to his head, and says, "Dippity Do!"
Opens the envelope (and while busting up laughing) says, "What do you call that moisture that forms on the end of your dippity?"
So whenever mormons inappropriately use the word "moisture," I giggle.
Mormons (and for that matter, other groups) latch onto a trite word or phrase and suck it dry. Toward the end of the word's life, you just can't take it anymore.
The last primary presidency I was in I heard that word a lot. The president was always talking about having to be careful of peoples' tender feelings and the importance of talking gently to them. In her defense, she did understand how Mormons can be really hard on themselves and how on edge people could feel because of the constant emphasis on worthiness and how hard it was for some people to feel good about themselves. She did get that concept about Mormonism but she's so died in the wool that if she ever left the church, someone would have to give me serious medical treatment for shock. She even married a guy from small-town So. Utah who said "Crick" for "creek" and "Woof" for "wolf". She's old school, baby.
lol me! Actually, this thread reminds me of the bobby brown song Tender Roni
"The truth about Roni, she’s a sweet little girl You could treat her real nice and hold her tight Only tender ronis can give special love A special kind of love that makes you feel good inside"
ya, that's not creepy at all bobby B!
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2013 02:01AM by Tupperwhere.