Had a talk with mother about this year's taxes and her rather large donation to LDS, Inc. Reminded her that TSCC (a multi-billion dollar conglomerate) built a mall rather than using money to help the needy or even their own missionaries and members. Explained that all the $ she gives goes directly to Utah and isn't used one whit to support her local economy. Mom is not happy about any of this. But when I suggested her donations, if they must go to a church, would do much more good to help the needy if she gave it to the Salvation Army. I could not get a response.

I don't get her attachment. She knows TSCC doesn't hardly ever acknowledge Christ on either Easter or Christmas and it bothers her. Somehow she still thinks LDS, Inc. needs her money.

Can anyone here explain to me what gives?

At the end of the day, it's... a cult.

Operant conditioning reinforced by positive stimulus. What she doesn't know is that the stimulus or perceived reward is all BS promises in this and the afterlife. When I started questioning and seething inside at age 36, I automatically reached for the tithing envelope every payday. This took years and years of training beginning from my teen years.

and then when she needs money, comes to us. I won't turn her down because I help her twin brother financially. I see them as both having their own addictions.

She gives way too much in FO.

BUT she hates the mall. She won't discuss it. She did go to it with my aunt at GC in October, but under duress.

I've found it doesn't do any good to discuss her donations.

I have pretty much despaired of my TBM mom ever coming to a realization that mormonism is a fraud. She is one person in particular (due to remaining married to my ex-mo dad all these decades) who has had ample access to all the material she would ever need to come to such a conclusion. She's refused to avail herself of any of them.

Over the years I've read a few things that go into some of the psychology of how we tend to over-value and refrain from criticizing actions, beliefs, paths taken once we've made up our minds and especially if we've invested a lot of time, effort and money. It's intensely painful to realize it was all for nothing, and it was all wasted on something foolish, fraudulent, hurtful, wrong, etc. So we do the cog-dis tango over and over rather than go through that pain.

This was one of the best books I read that covered cognitive dissonance spread over a wide variety of topics. Highly recommended, and useful when trying to understand why those presented with a blinding light refuse to even glance in its direction:

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366385694&sr=8-1&keywords=Mistakes+Were+Made

Thanks everyone. I see I am not alone. The book sounds enlightening.

If she's physically able, maybe volunteer with her at a homeless shelter or something so she can see how the donated money is used.

I don't recommend giving to the Salvation Army. Their track record toward LGBT people is less than stellar.

I've heard other people say that the salvation army is bad. Can someone explain why? Are they an actual church? If they do treat LGBT people bad then they can fuck off in my opinion. I do not tolerate anyone that treats LGBT people bad. But I'm just curious. I know I can google this but I'd like to hear from someone with experience.

It was a tempest in a teapot. My son was up in arms about it until he did some research. The Salvation Army, as a church, maintains the right to hire people who adhere to certain beliefs. They also don't widely ordain women. According to my son, they offer their charitable services to all, gay or not.
From Wikipedia:
Some in the United States have alleged that The Salvation Army discriminates against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals in their hiring practices.[40][41] The Salvation Army states they do not "discriminate against hiring gays and lesbians for the majority of its roughly 55,000 jobs".[42] Because The Salvation Army is a church, Title VII of the U.S. Civil Rights Act of 1964 allows it to inquire into religious beliefs in its hiring practices.

The weirdness comes into play if you join their "army."

The rules are, well, cult-like, and they don't care for teh ghey much:

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/The_Salvation_Army