To Exmos.

MrsRaptor and I live in Northern California now, and there are just enough Mormons in the area that most people know at least one Mormon. The funnies part is that whenever new people find out that MRJ and I are exmo, the flood gates open.

They love talking about how weird Mormonism is, and usually say, "well, the Mormons were nice, but they were weird too."

It's really quite funny to me to see that most people who know Mormons really view Mormonism as a freakshow. Do TBMs understand this?

I don't think I did as a TBM.

A recent case in point: the suspension of BYU basketball player, Brandon Davies. My daughter who attends there is thinking that it has turned into a real plus for BYU and LDS, Inc. I think most people regard it as very odd and maybe a little disturbing that an educational institution is meddling in someone's personal life to that degree.

But because humans are humans they generally possess some degree of magnanimity, and often love Mormons anyway. The creators of the musical "The Book of Mormon" do, and that, apparently, is one underlying vibe of the show: Mormons are weird but lovable.

Many of my friends "came out" to me after my disaffection. One that I had given a BoM to told me that the Testimony of the Three Witnesses triggered his B.S. detector since it's obvious you could only believe such a book by relying only on faith. People don't share everything, and this allows the Mormons to project what they want into that empty space often arriving at false assumptions.

Yep. Mormon watching is all about the freak show. Magic undies, secret ceremonies, sex addicted founder, polygamy. ...you can't make this shit up!! Plus the white bread stupidity and the arrogance. It is irresistible!

JWs have their strange beliefs but they just don't compare to the Mormons.

Scientologists is just pure silliness. I have no respect for anyone who falls for that crap. I have never met anyone who is a Scientologist but Mormons are all over the place displaying their weirdness for all to see.

A wise man once told me "Your TBM brother thinks everybody is weird except him. Actually he's the weird one."

I grew up in Indianapolis, and people there are pretty honest about what they think about things. Being a Mormon there was like going around wearing a propeller cap every day of your life. It was an uproariously laughable thing to be a Mormon, and I heard about it all the time. Then I went to Utah, and people there act like it's cool to be a Mormon. Then I started doing the laughing.

I was laughed at for being in a religion that thinks coffee and tea are opposed to God's health code. I was laughed at for polygamy - especially for NOT KNOWING about polygamy as late as the 7th grade. I remember someone telling me he saw a Mormon temple, and it looked like a big bowling trophy. Mormon missionaries were like the Blues Brothers. Or maybe the Coneheads. Then I'd go to Seminary and hear about how the City of Enoch is a spacefaring cube a thousand miles on a side that will one day come down to rest in the Gulf of Mexico during the Millennium. That was how it was for me growing up in the Mormon church. Every time I told anyone I was a Mormon, it was like the cover fell off of Rudolph's shiny red nose.

So yeah, Mormonism is like a big freak show to everyone except the Mormons. When my ex-wife and I left the Church in Minnesota, her coworker gave her a big hug and told her that she had known people who had been in the Mormon church, and it is so weird and that she is so glad we are out. My coworkers asked questions like "Are you embarrassed to have been in a religion like that?" Some of my friends have compared my experience to having been Catholic, and while I agree to some extent, it's really not the same. Catholicism is weird, but Mormonism is stupid weird.

Hahaha! I love all these visuals and I will have a hard time getting them out of my head. propeller cap, rudolph and cone heads.

When people find out you are Mormon, they emotionally distance themselves from you. You walk among them but are not made part of them. At least that is my experience with it. Probably why Mormons stick with their own kind for friendships.

---> Catholicism is weird, but Mormonism is stupid weird. <---

I always knew we were weird, and even taught my son that once when we were driving past the Cathedral of the Madeline in SLC and he said that Catholics were weird.

I explained to him that to most of the world, we were the weird ones.

My wife is only this year getting that Mormons are weird and not seen as so great by everyone. She was still on the everyone loves mormons and thinks highly of them bandwagon last year.

This NeverMo in Northern CA thinks it's mixed. I would argue that most NeverMos outside of heavily Mormon areas know little about Mormonism other than that they find the knocking on doors by "those nice missionaries" annoying. They may know about the no-coffee drinking rule too, but that's usually it. I agree that there are enough Mormons around here that it would be hard not to know at least a couple of Mormons socially, unless one socializes and works almost entirely within a particular immigrant or ethnic group like Chinese, Indian, etc.

I think my mom is a typical Californian NeverMo. As a Catholic, she was not raised with any of the anti-Mormon stuff a lot of fundamentalist Protestants hear. She is a fairly devout but also very open-minded and accepting of all other faiths. She's also known some TBMs fairly well. (Two of her teacher's aides for many years were Mormon, and my mom would be invited to their children's wedding receptions, etc.) When I've occasionally shared with her over the years things I've learned about Mormonism, she will say:

"Oh, come on now--NO ONE would believe anything like that. That must just be some anti-Mormon propaganda you've been reading." Even if I explain that it's something I've heard confirmed as a Mormon belief by a practicing Mormon, this is almost inevitably her response: "THAT couldn't be true."

My NeverMo father will make similar comments, although he's a little more open to believing that there are some odd beliefs out there. (He found it offensive even as a kid that the then- newly-built LDS temple in Oakland was closed to other faiths, so he and friends snuck in one night to take a peek! They found it disappointingly un-exciting. :-) )

I have often thought that the very weirdness (and yes, I realize that is a highly subjective term when it comes to religious beliefs) of many Mormon beliefs and practices actually protects Mormons from criticism, to a degree. "Heavenly Father" is not the traditional Judeo-Christian deity but only the god of this planet? Faithful Mormon males become gods of their own planets when they die? Jesus of Nazareth was Adam's brother? Satan rules the waters? Wives must be eternally pregnant in the next world, birthing spirit children? A lot of NeverMos just can't comprehend that Mormons believe those things, even if they do hear about them.

Yup!

I'm not at all hesitant to talk about my mormon upbringing, and my subsequent departure. While most people claim to respect the mormons up-front, a casual derogatory comment about mormonism will open them up. Then it's weirdness after that.

Same with the JW's. They all think the world puts them on a pedestal for their righteous living.... as if the rest of the world wishes they could live the higher laws and be as cool as the believers.

Any derogatory comments directed at mormons are considered satan-inspired persecution. They believe everything else must be praise.

She dances with glee when the missionaries come by. She loves to discuss doctrine with them. (She's retired)

No they don't understand it....and one reason is because they look at all nevermos as "lost". We don't know anything. Also many people think Mormons understand religion as it is practiced in the USA, but they jsut feel they have the better way and are the only truth out there. It is sad they know nothing about mainstream religions and do not wish to know anything. The Mormons I know have no clue the difference between a Lutheran, Methodist, etc. and some weird holy roller group. It is a shame they are so sheltered.

I was 20 when I started reading about Mormons. I think the first book I read was _From Housewife to Heretic_ & it's been an on-and-off hobby ever since, more than 20 years now. I even watch conference talks from time to time . . . not often, because they pretty much all say the same thing. But it's fascinating. And reading Mormon history exposes one to a lot of general American history that one might otherwise overlook. It's not the freakshow quite so much as the way studying Mormonism takes you through so MANY different subjects, not just the history. You know how studying a foreign language gives you insight into your own language? It's kind of like that . . . learning about LDS theological ideas actually made me understand mainstream Christianity better. I don't know what my point is. Anyway, I'd say most people have pretty much no awareness of Mormons at all. Of those who do, maybe half still believe the old lie about "Mormons take care of their own" because of the church welfare system. The rest think the "saints" are actually kooks.

i wish i knew half the shit about mormonism that i do now, as opposed to when i lived in utah in the late 70's early 80's. i stumbled on richard packham's excellent website a few years ago and that led me here. i had many mormon friends in utah both jackmormon and tbm. i often wonder if they have seen the light as many enlightened people here have. i was surprised and delighted at the mass exodus from tscc

I did not have the luxury of being in the majority as a Mormon kid. I was one of, maybe, 20 in my high school of 2,000 and that was a high ratio for the region. I lived in your typical built-in-the-70s suburban neighborhood but since it was about a mile from the church, we had a few Mormon families in the 'hood with us.

When I was in middle school I was at my friend's neighbor's house (same subdivision) when one of the other Mormon families was mentioned. The neighbor (an adult woman) said, "Oh, them. How many wives does that guy have in his basement anyway?" not knowing that I was a Mormon too. Of course I did my duty and informed her that in my best self-righteous 13 year old voice that "we no longer practice polygamy." But that was the first time I had ever really heard someone say something so flippant about the church, and it left an impression. It was the first time the lyrics to "I'm a Mormon" ceased to leave me with warm fuzzies over being "as different as can be."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2011 10:40PM by fallenangela.

I've sensed the social hesitancy from people when they find out I'm from Utah. Typically they'd make a comment about how beautiful it is or ask me how I like it here . . . While they edge slowly away (not quite, but it kind of feels like they want to).

So I have diffused the situation in one of the following ways: I usually agree that it's very beautiful but a strange place to live, or mention something that gives a strong indication that I'm NOT a Mormon.

It always cracks me up how instantly they warm up and start asking tons of questions. I hadn't realized that people really do see Mormonism as a fascinating oddity. I really used to think that people looked up to Mormons. I can't believe I didn't notice the social distance that non-mormons in my neighborhood created (when we lived outside Utah for a while). Because looking back, they didn't invite us to socialize. They were just "nice".