I mean, it doesn't seem he would have the time, what with him being a drunkard and everything.

How else do you explain that unique ecosystem of both fauna and flora, that are scattered across the world? Unless it was all just made up, and that is crazy talk.

he must have. He must have been in the oceans, zoos, and other assorted animal enclosures. I fully believe in reincarnation. He was Steve Irwin before Steve Irwin was Steve Irwin.

O ye of Little Faith... (snicker)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2013 01:55AM by guynoirprivateeye.

Noah knew how to distribute the animals; liberal donkeys were released on the coasts, and conservative elephants were dropped off in the interior lands. Red and blue states formed over time.

Guess he ran out of racoons and armadillos before he got out
of the Americas. Too bad, about that -- they would have made
a nice addition to the European forests.

Why he only put kangaroos in Australia and Dodos on a single
remote island, I'll never know.

At least he provided the exact kinds of Darwin's finches to
populate each of the Galapagos Islands -- wouldn't want the
wrong kind of finch beak poking around for seeds it couldn't
masticate, in its own little insular domain.

Three cheers for Father Noah (except for those damn mosquitoes)

UD

He saved at least one dodo for Utah.

I masticate all the time. I'm glad noah helped me with this. I used to talk to my bishop about it but i don't anymore

The animals walked to the boat on their own, let them find their own way home! Noah's had a raging hangover he was trying to recover from and was in no shape to make sure everyone got home safely.

At least that's one version.

The area below deck was quite a mess, but the enterprising Shem and Mrs Shem cornered the market on fertilizer when things dried out.

At least that's the version I learned in a musical I saw once.

At the time of The Flood, the lands of the earth were all joined together in one place. Is wasn't until the days of Peleg (a descendant of Noah), that the earth's continents separated out.

"According to the Doctrine and Covenants, there will come a time when 'the land of Jerusalem and the land of Zion shall be turned back into their own place, and the earth shall be like as it was in the days before it was divided' (D&C 133:24). In the days of Peleg the earth was divided into continents (see Genesis 10:25), but before that time it was all united in one land mass."

http://www.lds.org/manual/print/old-testament-student-manual-kings-malachi/chapter-18?lang=eng

It really was one land mass once, but Pangea was a bit before Peleg's or even Noah's time. About 300 million years earlier, actually. I shouldn't say "once".. Super continents are now known to have formed several times before Pangea..



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2013 09:56PM by rationalguy.

misplaced



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2013 09:59PM by rationalguy.

FCD:

How in Hell did the Ark get parked on top of Mt. Ararat?

I bet Carnival would like to build a ship like that, eh?

He didn't drop horses off here in the US either...Unlike what the BOM says The Spaniards first brought horses to the Americas in the 16th Century (1500s). Another piece of history it clearly goes against

The water dried up, and miracle of miracles the ark begin to fly! Just like santas sleigh. He flew all around the world and dropped off all the animals in one night.

He was tired he wasn't watching where he was going and ran into Mt. Ararat. And they all lived happily ever after. Amen

Duane E. Jeffery, "Noah's Flood: Modern Scholoarship and Mormon Traditions," published in "Sunstone" magazine, October 2004, pp. 27-39, 42-45, at: https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/sbi/issues/134.pdf


("Jeff" is a long-time, great friend of mine who helped start me on my way out of Mormonism with his magnificent essay, "Seers, Savants and Evolution: The Uncomfortable Interface," originally published in "Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought," Vol. 8, No. 3/4, Autumn/Winter 1974, pp. 41-75, at: http://dialoguejournal.com/wp-content/uploads/sbi/articles/Dialogue_V34N0102_195.pdf)



Edited 10 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2013 06:43PM by steve benson.

Of course he did, but he had the same problem as the farmer who needed to ferry the fox,the chicken, and the grain across the river . . . .

robertb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Of course he did, but he had the same problem as
> the farmer who needed to ferry the fox,the
> chicken, and the grain across the river . . . .


Well then, let's go back to the old Mormon teaching, from the
Lectures on Faith in the old D&C editions, wherein we are told
that the continents are all joined together back then.

In that case, having landed his ark near the site of the
subsequent Tower of Babel, Father Noah only had to let the
critters out into the open (very muddy) landscape, where they
could breed, multiply, and set off for their new homelands.

Musk oxen to the tundra, penguins to the ice and snow,
marsupials to wherever they could best fight off competition
from the placentals.

But I still want to know how the dodo birds ended up on
Mauritius. They didn't fly there. And if Mauritius itself
was joined unto all the other land masses until Peleg's
day and age, why didn't a few dodos survive elsewhere?

We really need a latter day prophet who could tap into
continuing revelation, in order to explain these things.

UD

<snicker>

God did it!

When a nice young snake couple was leaving the ark Noah told them to go fourth and multiply. They said they couldn't multiply because they were adders. Noah built them a platform out of driftwood tree trunks, then all was right.

Even adders can multiply when given a log table.

*groan*

Yep, them koala just trecked all the way to Australia,
fighting off their natural urge to curl up in the nearest
tree. Elders and Sisters, if only we could be as dedicated to
the cause as those koala were. Just think of how the Kingdom
of God would grow if we were all so single-minded as those two
koala. But, I fear you have not lost yourself in the work.
You know you are letting your savior down every time you don't
work as long and as hard as is possible. I won't say "humanly
possible," because, if you are praying like you should and
reading and pondering the scriptures like you should and
keeping your thoughts where they should be you should have
divine help to call upon. But if you think worldly thoughts
now and then how can you expect the Spirit to help you? You
must be worthy of the Spirit, and, remember, the eternal fate
of all the people you come into contact with depends on YOU.

Now I'd like the sisters to leave the room so I can talk to
the Elders about a problem that may be making them unworthy.

I don't understand why he wanted a flood in the first place. Couldn't he just kill all of the wicked people with the snap of his fingers and be done with it? Why go through all of the trouble of building a boat, gathering two of every species, etc.?

Why did he make wicked people in the first place? It sounds like God isn't as smart as everyone keeps telling me he is.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/21/2013 09:59PM by rationalguy.

There is absolute, definitive proof that the world was not covered in a global flood like the Old Testament indicates, spanning a variety of scientific disciplines. Even as a TBM I recognized this obvious fact and turned to the isolated event theory - that it was just a local flood and the nearby residents played it up until it became this worldwide thing. Of course, this flies in the face of numerous modern prophets and apostles who have taught otherwise, but even as a TBM I knew they could make mistakes. Silly me, I guess that's why I'm here.

Anybody ever consider that Noah brought all those animals on board for food? No wonder when he opened that door after the flood, the animals scurried far and wide so they would not become Noah's dinner. Just think of all the species that are now extinct because Noah got hungry.

How this worked according to the same Young Earth Creationist who told me that more advanced critters were higher in the strata because they out ran the flood longer that the others.

When the Bible says two of each kind,it doesn't actually mean two of everything. It's like two canines, two equines, two snakes, etc. Then after the flood there was a period of extremely fast micro-evolution (because macro-evolution isn't biblical, by micro is???), which caused the two canines to evolve into wolves, coyotes, foxes, etc. The equines into horses, donkeys, zebras and so forth.

It makes my brain hurt.