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Posted by: fallible ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:09PM

they no longer exist. It's just like they were never there. We're taught to believe in cities that no one can find evidence for. See, God can make things like that happen. This earthquake in Japan has really been a testimony builder for me."

You can't make this shit up.

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Posted by: Jim Huston ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:12PM

All inventions of the Industrial age were to prepare for the return of God's Church. All inventions since are because Joseph Smith restored TSCC.

Next most idiotic
The internet was started to help spread Mormonism. The fiber optics are the "sea of glass" from the scripture.

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:14PM


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Posted by: Mr. One Two ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:17PM

"I know the church is true" ... just dumb, dumb, dumb.

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Posted by: Needanewname ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:21PM

"Maybe it is a blessing in disquise" Often used when something terrible happens to someone who is otherwise rightious and something like that shouldn't happen to them. AKA the rightious are always blessed. But I must agree with Forest Gump
S___ happens!

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Posted by: GayLayAle ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:28PM

"I never understood why blessings wore disguises. If I was a blessing, I'd run around naked!"

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Posted by: T-Rex ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:26PM

Y2K was God's plan to moderate technology.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 05:29PM

"I bought this covered wagon to use when we have to go back to Jackson County" --my own sister in 1975

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Posted by: Charley ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 06:05PM

If you don't go on a mission you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Ha!

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Posted by: searching27 ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 06:06PM

but this one ranks somewhere in the top

"Hi I am __________ and I am Mormon"

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Posted by: questioning ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 06:16PM

In Relief Society:

"We have to OWN polygamy. It is part of our history and we have to be PROUD of it. Let's stand up and own it!"

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Posted by: questioning ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 06:17PM

this from a woman (obviously, since it was in RS) who admittedly HATED THE IDEA OF POLYGAMY and couldn't bear it if her husband practiced it.

cognitive dissonance abounds in the church.

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Posted by: Just Browsing ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 06:58PM

**STRAIGHT FORWARD FACE - ABSOLUTELY NO JOKING -IN A MEETING**

"AS WE ARE THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH -- GOD WILL ONLY ANSWER LDS PRAYERS"

While falling off my chair, my laughing was heard and scoffed at by many in the meeting

JB

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Posted by: unworthy ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 07:02PM

I've been throught the temple,,so I know every thing about everything. Fellow TBM worker.
I served my mission,,so I am entitled to the promotion,,
The list is endless

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Posted by: tawanda2011 ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 10:07PM

An old man who gave our son a healing blessing literally cried and said he believes if he (the old guy) "had been more worthy my son wouldn't have lost his eye". That was years ago, but heartbreaking for us as tbm and very sad for an old guy to live with that.I bear my testimony I believe it is a true cult and they are all very fucked up.

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Posted by: nadamo ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:02PM

A Christian friend had a stillborn baby (I think she was 8 or 9 months pregnant) and at the funeral a mormon neighbor expressed his condolence by saying "Well, at least he got a body." Like it was ok that the baby was born DEAD! Everyone within earshot was mortified.

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Posted by: dthenonreligious ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:18PM

I absolutely hate when they say this. My murderous rage goes off the chart.

No sympathy and thoughts regarding the emotional trauma suffered by the family. Just well it was all part of the lards plan of screwing with people. The child must have been so righteous to come here and die. Good friggin' god, how do they believe this pile of BS. Even when I was a member this particular thought train made me visibly angry.

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Posted by: zimmy ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:19PM

the dumbest thing i have ever heard in church was in california. "i can never know as much about the gospel as my husband because he has the priesthood and i dont". i almost fell off my pew.

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Posted by: wjexmo ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:30PM

"The only people making a positive difference in this world are those who are taking the sacrament every Sunday" My Brother last year

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:37PM

On the early afternoon of November 22, 1963 my Dad told me, "I can see the hand of the Lord in this."

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Posted by: anonmiss ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:41PM

"It's true!"

They like to say that alllll the time. Who cares? If it is true why do you have to keep reminding yourselves? Why don't you just go out and live it?

Also:

"Our prophets are the same as Moses and Elijah"

Ummm yeah have you ever read the OT? I'm guessing the answer is no.

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Posted by: JoD3:360 ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 08:54PM

Mission President had the gall to stand there and tell us that the tragedy was Gods wake up call. It was because of the Gays and the Abortions and other sins that this happened.

I thought- wow! This dooshbagge is repeating almost word for word the bile spewed by Robertson and Falwell.

I was looking around and a lot of people were just as embarrassed and shifting in their seats as I was.

Still total TBM at the time, but this guy lost any sustaining I might have felt prior to our meeting.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 09:59PM

GayLayAle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Dooshbagge" This spelling breathes new life into that wonderful word. That made my day.


LOL Me too.

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Posted by: adoylelb ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 09:47PM

About a month after the 9/11 attacks, the SS discussion was on why bad things happen, and some woman actually said that she considered the attacks to be a blessing, as more countries would let missionaries in.

It was about a year after that statement that I resigned from TSCC.

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Posted by: monomore ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 10:10PM

This was said to my wife on her birthday by a relief society idiot. " Happy birthday, just think, you're one year closer to heaven!"

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Posted by: jpt ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 11:00PM

Pink Floyd's "shorter of breath, and one day closer to death."

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 10:14PM

After giving a blessing to a little boy who had spina bifida, and was in a wheelchair, a then friend sat down and said, "Darn. I was going to bless him so that he'd walk again, but I forgot." He was sure if he'd remembered that the child would have been totally healed.

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Posted by: Outcast ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 10:29PM


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Posted by: tawanda2011 ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 11:10PM

OMG, I can't count the times I've heard that - the church is perfect but the people aren't. Crazy Bastards!!

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Posted by: Don Bagley ( )
Date: March 14, 2011 11:52PM

If you put on a suit and attend, a testimony will come to you. You have to look and play the part first.

---My Idiot Father

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