I knew moving to Alabama would be a jump into Bible wonderland. I know the Bible belt isn't exactly representative of all Christian-dom. But damn, it's a culture shock after being surrounded by Mormons for 30 years.

First the good things. It's beautiful here in Alabama. My job is perfect for me. The people are nice. I like it here don't regret moving.

I have to say Mormons are BY FAR less annoying than the average Christian here. Mormons say goofy things and do weird things no doubt. But I have never seen religious intrusion like I've seen here.

I am quiet and respectful of the nonstop Christian influence here. I did expect it to be Jesus this and Jesus that. However I was not prepared for how oblivious they are that someone might not think like them. I would NEVER, in my wildest dreams let on that I am not Christian here. I would no doubt be looked upon with suspicion if not the actual Antichrist.

In Idaho, you might hear a couple Mormons talking about going to the temple, or they might ask you what ward you are in. Sure they are clannish and weird.

Here is just TWO days of living here with (mostly Baptists but some Lutherans and Catholics):

My boss answers the phone with "Have a blessed day."

I get colored glossy (expensive) brochures in my mail box inviting me to this Jesus church or that Jesus church.

I found a flier on my front door - my first contact with neighbors - inviting me to church.

At least 5 people where I work routinely sing out loud gospel songs. Loud. In harmony. They talk about church (choir, pastors, etc.) nonstop.

There is a 3 mile stretch of road near my home that has 9 Christian churches- more dense than Mormon ward houses.

Today a "youth leader" baptist coworker informed me that the urge to date means you don't have a strong relationship with God. (No one is ever going on a date with her anyway.)

Yesterday some guy at work was telling me that "the ladies determine the state of the country." "This is based on a Bible passage," he explained. "When the ladies stop being ladies, the country falls." WTF?

Another coworker came up to me to tell me something funny her kid said. "Billy came home from Sunday School and told me he learned about John The Batman." Hahaha. (Like there's a difference.)

Never mind the church programs on TV that are numerous and crazy. Lots of them. Worse than conference.

The TV and radio personalities don't even try to keep religion out of things. The Bible is an authority in public and there is no attempt to cover the fact that they want religion in public schools.

It is assumed that everyone agrees with them. They have no concept how alienating their beliefs are. They have no idea how crazy they seem to someone like me.

But this is THEIR territory. I knew what I was getting into so I adapt and try to find common ground wherever I can.

This is not different than living among Mormons. Mormons are at least a little more protective and secretive when they think someone isn't Mormon. Believe it or not, I now appreciate that about Mormons.

Christians who complain about Mormons (and vise versa) are two sides of the same coin. Which side is worse? Right now Mormons are looking less in-your-face. Some things never change I guess.

I suspect the real true religion in Alabama is actually football.

Get ready for that question. I'd find a Universalist or equally nonoffensive church and use that as an answer.

Can you say where in Alabama?

I don't think anyone would ask if I'm religious. It is assumed.

But they might ask me which church I attend. Yikes. I think I could weasel my way out of that (oh, I visit a lot, blah, blah).

I'd be afraid to say Universalist to them. That's not Christian enough. It might creep them out. I want to make them feel comfortable around me. I don't need to tell them too much about me that they don't really want to know.

So far so good. Praise Jaysus!

I posted the following when I first saw that you had moved to Alabama.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,113322,113322#msg-113322

Welcome to the South. It's a culture shock eh?

Enjoyed your update.

Enjoyed your rundown of your experiences! I got the biggest kick out of singing gospel music in harmony at work! I think I might even like that and would join in! :-)

What part of Alabama are you in?

As far as church density, I think I can top it. My hometown in the PA coal region had about 7000 people when I was in HS in the 80's. It was probably 90-95% Catholic. I just made a list of the churches and there were 14 churches in the square mile of the town- 8 Catholic, 2 Methodist, 2 Baptist, a UCC, and a Lutheran. The unofficial motto of the town was "A church & a bar on every corner"! I kind of understand your predicament (though I think you've said before that you're atheist). Being in the middle of the born-again universe is a lot like being Baptist in a sea of Catholics.

You could always tell them you're a member of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. I got my online ministerial "credentials" from them. The theology, as it were, is the wisdom of the Dude from the Big Lebowski.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2011 09:49PM by janebond462.

Part of the "Where do you go to church?" thing in the South is about figuring out if you know some of the same people, not so much whether it's the right church. The assumption, of course, is that you go to one Christian church or another.

I have lived in the heart of the Bible belt for 25 years now. My next door neighbor, for a number of years, was the head of the Church of God - Lamar Vest. It was like living next door to the Mormon prophet.

Religion permeates everything here. You get used to it and keep quiet. I have a few friends that are also agnostics and we rarely discuss religion. There are too many other interesting things in life.

It would be fun to meet some time. I will be working in Alabama in a few weeks near Florence.

Welcome to the South!

Maybe someday everyone from the area can get meet somewhere.

I would love to buy you and your wife (family!) dinner sometime and meet the person behind the board that has entertained me for over a decade!

Florence or Chattanooga don't seem that far away now.

welcome! fyi, there is a North Alabama Freethought Association. One of my exmo friends in Huntsville attends their meetings. Hopefully we'll all be able to link up someday.

It's the social network of everything.

Good thing I'm a goober who doesn't care if I fit in.

I'm here for my job and it is pretty much all I do anyway.

I just did some Googling because I was worried you were around the real crazies, but I see the Duggars live in Arkansas...

I was going to deputize you to love bomb them with some Planned Parenthood literature...

You may think that is a lot of churches, but where I grew up ( population 6000 ) there were 26 churches that were NOT somebody's living room.
I can't even imagine how many of the living room ones there were.
These were almost all Protestant, with a few exceptions.
Kingdom Hall, SDA, some type of East European Orthodox church.
This was in Zion, IL.
A lot of the home churches were attend mostly by people who had moved there from the south.

You are right about football being the real religion. And lots of people there (many of them related to me :-/ ) used to think professional wrestling was real. I don't know if that's still true. My rellies have now gone on to that big pit BBQ in the sky.

I'd feel safer critiquing Jesus than SEC football.

Good to see you back online!

Dagny, I agree with jpt. The SEC conference has many zealots. My husband is an LSU one. 22 years with him and I still shake my head at the beginning of college football season.

Maybe you should start a blog...

Moira

My sister-in-law moved from here in Cali to Tennessee a few months ago, and she says she's still looking for the right church. Apparently you have to attend one church or another. Of course it has to be Christian. How do people tolerate it?

I love California.

In the early 90s I moved from Utah Valley to Northwest Alabama (the Shoals area). I'd never been East of the Rocky Mountains. It was a bigger culture shock than living in Japan. Just because I was still in the USofA but it was so different. Unfortunately I WAS mormon then and when everyone would ask me what church I was going to go to or invite me to theirs and I'd tell them it was OK, I was Mormon and we had a church in Florence I'd be going to, well, you can imagine how popular I was in the neighborhood.

Then I moved back to Utah for 7 years then moved across the country again to Memphis. It's not as bad here because it's a bigger city and I work mostly with people who are not from Memphis, most of them being from the Northeast. But still, the Jesus Freak evangelicals are MUCH worse than the mormons in Utah ever were.

I was in the Alabama Birmingham mission, but I stuck out, everybody knew where we went to church. Generally people didn't give us too much guff because we were preaching jesus. If you like BBQ you need to get to Dreamland, and you also need to try Buffalo Rock ginger ale. There really are some great people there, I met a lot of really nice people who aren't mormon. You just gotta figure out if your Alabama or Auburn. I go Alabama.

Welcome to the SOUTH!! While the Christians here may seem a little zealous they really are just nice people, probably wouldnt give you to much trouble if you told them you dont go to church! I dont live that far from you and I promise you will get used to it!!

I figured you for more of a Washington state type of person. It is very beautiful in Alabama and pretty much everywhere here in the South. Sure, there's a Jesus presence, but it's really just a different culture. They don't mean to be in your face. Remember, I had a hard time living in Tampa when I first came here. Christians can be a more extreme than Mormons, but I think Mormons as a culture are more emotionally unhealthy and bad mannered.

I think Alabama is a nice place. The cost of living is low, winters are mild, and it's very scenic. The forests are gorgeous, and seeing the green out your window is calming. People in Alabama are polite and have good manners, despite the Jesus thing. It will grow on you.

i was at a stock car race in richmond virginia, they had a pre-race prayer, over the p.a. system, as follows "lord i know i'm a sinner but let me see that checkered flag and make me a winner,amen " [ i am not lying ] dagny: you're about 50 miles from talladega superspeedway, 2.66 miles long, 33 degree banking in the turns. one helluva party weekend, when i lived in new orleans, i went twice a year, nationwide races on sat. cup cars on sun. april 16-17-2011 they even suspend the no beer on sunday law, at the track, even if you're not a fan, you should check it out

If you're in the Birmingham area, there's plenty of non-Jesus culture; you just have to know where to find your own tribe. Head downtown to the UAB/Little Five points area and check out some coffee shops or something. You will find the non-religious crowd. You can ONLY find it in certain little pockets of Birmingham. If you venture out of that city, anywhere else in Alabama is Jesus Central.

(I live in North Florida.) I disagree however. I find the generic Jesus-Christians and Baptists to be less annoying than mormons. At least they take no for an answer.

There's some generic fundie church on my block, no idea what denomination. Once in a while, the members of that church walk around the neighborhood and just talk to people. I kind of like that they reach out to the community in which their church sits and don't just act like "don't talk to us; we're better than you." One day, these two ladies were canvassing my street and I was doing yardwork in my front yard. Of course they stopped by and asked me if I wanted them to pray for me for anything.

I dropped my trowel and blinked up at them in the baking Florida sun. What more could I possibly ask their deity for? I have a great job, love in my life, awesome friends and family relationships, I love my little house and my dog and my cat. Could not be happier or healthier. I couldn't imagine how, on such a beautiful day, anyone could possibly want for anything more than a cool breeze and the sun on their back.

So I said, "Well, I really don't need to ask for anything..."

The churchy ladies were puzzled by this. "Well, what about a better job..."

Me: "No, I have a good job that I like very much."

Churchy ladies: "Well, what about your health? Or your family'?"

Me: "No... everybody is healthy and happy and doing well... I know! Why don't you send up a prayer of thanks for me? For all the blessings I'm so fortunate to have!"

Churchy ladies: * blink blink * "Are you sure? You don't want us to pray for anything for you?"

Me: "Yeah, just let your god know that I am grateful for all I have."

Churchy ladies: "Erm, well... okay, then. Have a blessed day!"

Me: "I just did... didn't I?"

LOL

They honestly have no idea what to do with someone who is healthy and happy and has no need for a church/crutch to get through life. No clue.

at local baseball games. It is beautiful there. Go eat grouper and key lime pie with mai tais in L-A (lower Alabama) or Pensacola at Chan's out on the beach (Santa Rosa Island, I think).



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2011 10:25AM by mav.

Welcome to the People's Republic of Dumbphuckistan!

Poverty and ignorance are very fertile soil for fundamentalist religion.

I've got one guy I work with that gets on a Jesus kick. I give him hell in return. Other than that no one really bothers me about religion but it does get peppered in average conversations.

My son is pretty open about his atheism too. He is 6'1 220lbs and very sarcastic about "gawd" so most people don't get into it with him.

If I didn't have land here that I love I'd be in Vermont.

dagny partially Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> My boss answers the phone with "Have a blessed
> day."
>
If he tries that with you, you could always respond, "Blessed be."

It's been a few years. Would you drop me a note? I'm still at the one you've always had for me.

I'm pretty close by too, just inside GA. I grew up with no religion. I was too naive to think religious affiliation mattered when I was a little kid so I was open about not going to church. Oh but it did. It's very hard to date and I had few friends in middle school. That's partly the reason why I ended up even looking into mormonism, they were far more inviting and accepting than the other brainwashing sects around these parts. Plus the cute girl I ended up marrying sure helped my conversion.... Now I'm back in the same boat as before, nobody around here wants to date someone who isn't religious. I'm damn glad to work and have friends in Atlanta where there is a large population of non-brainwashed people.

Wow! I used to visit my grandparents in rural TN just up the highway from Birmingham. I had no idea the xtians were so in your face in the south. Of course they all knew that my mother had disgraced her family by joining the morg so they didn't push it so much.

I remember being shocked when my grandfather gave me some money before going to SS. I asked him what it was for and he said to give it to the SS teacher.

I've thought about moving to TN when I retire but now...