Another thread got me thinking about the many situations where Mormons see nothing wrong with completely invading one's personal boundaries, so I'd like to hear more examples. To kickstart this, two that come to my mind:

1) My private conversation with stake pres where I told him of my disaffection, was shared with another mutual friend whilst they were on the golf course together. As if that wasn't bad enough, mutual friend then approached my wife about this conversation before I'd even told her how I felt about the church. She took it surprisingly well but it could have ended disastrously. SP apologised and was completely embarrassed when I called him on it. Other 'friend' has given us complete cold shoulder since then.

2) Another TBM friend was in hospital for a few days and the nosey bishop's wife decided to offer some service by visiting his house and helping to clean it. During this visit (and unbeknown to my friend's wife at the time), nosey woman went through A) his extensive DVD collection and literally binned anything that she felt was inappropriate (her own family were never allowed a TV in the house) B) went through his underwear draw and disposed of all his garment bottoms that had even the tiniest holes in them.

The illogic of Satan buffeting apostates is obvious. If being apostate is what Satan wants, he would be giving us everything we want! Buffeting those who leave would be absurd. Of course, Mormon doctrine is a scare tactic to prevent those who are on the edge from leaving - that they will lose everything and die a horrible death, etc. The only losses that happen to those who leave are those created by TSCC to punish apostates. Earlier in TSCC history one might be killed for becoming apostate and the temple oaths carried out.

A TBM neighbor with whom I'd barely ever spoken offered to help me bring a large item inside from my porch. Within the course of ten minutes of conversation, he opened cupboards, my entertainment center and a closet door to look inside without reason or permisssion.

Best one I have was when I was 17 and 30wks pregnant. A tbm in our Ward had my mother drop me off at her house so she could make me a maternity dress. Sweet, right? The woman lectured me for the entire three hours I was at her house on how wrong I was for keeping my baby and how I should give him up for adoption. I was furious! I couldn't leave because she lived 45min away from us and I was on bedrest so walking home would have been bad. It was middle of summer so I couldn't even sit outside until my mother picked me up. And 13yrs ago, my mom didn't have a cell phone and had gone shopping so I couldn't even call her to come pick me up!!

Bizarre!!!! I can't think of anything specific right now that has happened to me, but I do know of VTers who have stalked a woman down at her job, going so far as to schedule lunch during her shift at a restaurant, and sit in her section so that she would be captive to a "message", and know that they "care".

I had just come down off the mountains at the end of summer after running a fire look out station. I hadn't unpacked my gear,kitchen equipment,etc. It was piled in my living room.

I also had all my books from the 21 credits I'd just signed up for in the Fall term of college, and my husbands 24 credits.

And I had all the materials that were required for my two first projects of my sewing and weaving classes.

We also had two lugs of fruit we were going to be canning that day and our kitchen was full of jars, pans and the canner.

Our ONLY friend in the ward, ( we were new there), came to our house and lectured us on how "messy" my house was and how I needed to clean it up "because no one in the ward wanted to come see us and be our friends because your home is too 'dangerous' to little children"

That EQ had brought his two year old by and the only thing I'd had for him to play with was a case of tuna fish next to the door. The toddler enjoyed stacking them like a bunch of blocks.


When I had therapy 30+ years later to find out why or where I'd started with the concept that I was a "hoarder" and a Messy person ... it came from the condemnation of that smug self satisfied clueless 24 year old EQ!!!!! With the BP backing him up telling me to 'clean your house'....who had never been in my home.


And of course, NOTHING was said to my husband whose half of the stuff belonged to, that he could pitch in and put away things too!



I saw the pictures from that apartment recently......THE APARTMENT WAS NOT MESSY OR DIRTY! All these years I'd thought it was because I remember the pain of that EQ shoving my husband and I out of the acceptance circle of the ward!

It had literally scarred me for over 35 years!!!!!

My mother lent out her wedding photos to another TBM woman who was working on some project, who then "lost" them.

My parents only have one photo from their wedding now, and I think it's even an engagement photo.