So now I got over the tears and the next thing is that I feel guilty for not believing in this scam anymore. I am a 6th generation, ancestors were polygamists, walked with BY to the Salt Lake Valley. My guess is because I am still getting many phone calls from family and church members calling me and telling me their testimonies. I don't want to take their faith but I can not believe it anymore and I will not teach my children that JS was a prophet as he was a con man.

I never did feel the guilt, but I did feel scared, and full of anxiety that I might be wrong, and also as I thought of the likely consequences. I was aware of the potential loss of friends, the reaction of family members, and the dissolution of my entire social network. You shouldn't feel guilt unless you did something wrong, which you did not.

Bear your newly found testimony, that JS was a con man, they'll soon leave you alone.

Have you watched any of the 'and I'm an EX-mormon' videos? Those are what finally set me free from the residual 'ick' feelings after I left. The one that resonated most with me is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8KbwLC_BGg I hope this/these help you as much as they helped me.

I watched that video too and it's very good!

Also, click on the link to the site to read the rest of his story. It's very good and he makes a great point on what it means to live in obedience to love and not a corporation as I would like to put it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/12/2013 09:55PM by nickson.

Subeam, my ancestors also walked into the valley with BY. In fact, some were in the very first company to enter the valley. My great great great grandfather (more or less greats) was a polygamist and my ancestors were quite influential in settling Utah and Idaho.

The only thing I ever felt guilty about was the sacrifices they had made in following their hearts and what they believed to be a true prophet of God. Was I spitting on their graves and being disrespectful?

In the end I figured that I can respect what they believed while I cannot believe or follow their path.

Never feel guilty for following your heart and being true to yourself. I think that is really what life is about.

Your ancestors were deceived. You're honoring them by stopping the cycle.

That's how I chose to look at it too. Even though I was a convert, I later found that I had polygamist gg-grandparents. One of them was one of the Mormon girls that they found to try and wash up Joseph Smith's blood. I figure if they were still around, and had time to sit and observe everything that's gone on since they've been dead and could see the whole picture, they would be cheering for us to correct the lies that they were fooled by, so that their grand children could live the normal lives that they were kept from.

Your ancestors were APOSTATES. They left the church of their forefathers to join their con-man neighbor's polygamous cult. Is that anything you should honor?

My ancestors (on both sides of my Mormon Royalty family) were close neighbors of Joseph Smith's, and held very high positions in the cult. I had the privilege of reading some of their diaries in their own handwriting, and that opened my eyes! The BYU confiscated all the diaries on one side, by persuading my old aunt into handing them over. BYU said the family could read the diaries any time. Well--several of my TBM cousins and I have tried, but BYU claims to have "mis-filed" them and have lost them. Yeah, riiiiiight.

It took me a couple of years to not feel guilt, that I had made my TBM family unhappy. But, in the Christian world, it is normal for people to change religions once in a while, and their families don't have fits over it. In fact, most of my Christian friends parents don't even know which church they go to, or if they go to church at all. My wise grandmother used to say, "Religion shouldn't be an issue in a relationship." She loved her children and grandchildren who left the cult, just as much as those who stayed in.

I'm sorry your family is the guilt-inducing kind. Don't buy into it. Your right as an American is freedom of religion, plus there's the 11th Article of Faith. Never feel guilty for being happy. "Man is, that he might have joy."

you feel guilty or proud that you wanted to break the dysfunctional cycle?

subeam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My guess is because I am still getting
> many phone calls from family and church members
> calling me and telling me their testimonies.

How would they feel if you called them out of the blue and told
them that the Church was bogus and that Joseph Smith was sexual
predator scum? Would that be OK? Is randomly calling THEM to
bear YOUR "testimony" acceptable? If not then why is it
acceptable for them to call you with theirs?

One friend of my mom called me last week again and told me that "Satan took over my heart and soul". She said that just because my brother got sexually abused by a high priest doesn't mean I should get inactive in the church she told me that I should have the missionaries come and give me a blessing. When I told her that husband already gave me a blessing and that we went to the temple and that we read the book of Mormon together but that it doesn't change that JS married a 14 year old and 11 wives who already had husbands. When I told her that she flipped and testified that JS was a true prophet but also a man. I thought yes he was a con man someone with big imagination.
She bore testimony of how she thought of committing suicide but then the missionaries showed up at her door so that was the answer to her prayer. How come Utah suicide rate is so high? And the Prozac rate too? And foreclosure rate?
The church put a huge pressure on the family by having to give 10% and the callings are time consuming.

Our ancestors pioneered in... I pioneered out. They didn't have access to the world's information like we do now.

jpt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Our ancestors pioneered in... I pioneered out.
> They didn't have access to the world's information
> like we do now.


I like that.