All this fracking minutae about the Book of Mormon. Enough already! The Bishop and his boys can find all your reasons for leaving the faith anywhere on the internet, or by reading RFM.

Why are you so enticed by their "respectful" and "friendly" reply letter? They are bating you, can't you see? They are not going to review your evidence, take a democratic vote, and write you a letter telling you they've seen the light and agree with your POV.

They've already passed your letter around. I'm sure some of them have passed a few remarks around also. Do you really feel that this will not trickle down to your son, who is still in the scouting program at Church?

I applaud you for wanting to write a book about your journey and exit from Mormon fundamentalism. But unless your audience is LDS, they will not care about your back-and-forth correspondence or "open dialogue" with the brethren.

Are you trying to prove your "sincerity" to your future readers, to your former Bishopric and Stake Presidency, or to yourself? Stop being so ingratiating!

My guess is that you are most comfortable expressing yourself through writing (it's a good thing) and that once you've written enough to mentally exhaust yourself, you will finally calm down.

Take it easy. Take care of yourself. Don't get caught up in a cycle of kowtowing to these Mormon goons. You run the risk of making yourself physically or psychologically ill.

I know I sound like an ass, but you must stop this. I respect your quest for truth, but the Bishop and his boys don't give a rat's ass about your truth ... only their own.

I completely disagree with this post. For many of us writing these back and forth letters is very therapeutic and helps us process things. I actually regret that when I left I didn't get into it more with the bishop and stake president.

For some people writing these sort of things would be counterproductive but for others its a good thing and part of the exit process.

Note to Don Quixote from the last thread: No I don't have a MormonThinker profile - that is someone else - its my public facebook profile - Brian Clark. Hey I had to "like" it since you link to both of the websites I work on ;) - actually that wasn't the reasons I liked it though, I like the subject matter and your treatment of it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 11:59PM by The Oncoming Storm - bc.

Awesome thanks! Just sent you an invite from A.R.

I do see your point senoritalamanita about how futile the letter will be, but I do want him to at least be exposed to some of the info I presented to him. But it's also for my piece of mind too. It's also not in my nature to be anything other than friendly in letters or in person, unless that person really doesn't deserve it. I'm in a good place now where most of my anger is gone, and I'm not very afraid to run into people from the church anymore. I've calmed down a lot compared to a few months ago when I was a wreck. I feel that I've proven my sincerity to my first letter to the bishop, maybe this letter was to prove to myself that I can still associate with members of the ward without getting emotional, angry or bitter.

But just in case he interprets my friendliness as a cry for help I will either correct him or just stop responding to the letters. What I also don't want is my response to open up a whole can of worms by having the entire high priest group writing me letters, yikes! I would ask them to stop if that happened. But so far they have honored my wishes that if they had anything to say to me about the church that it would be in writing, and this guy who I've never really met decided to take me up on it. Part of me hopes that maybe he was a little curious to see how someone could study their way out. Maybe not likely, but possible.

Join the club!

No, I'm not being sarcastic. At the least, it will be therapeutic for you. And if you write it right, then it may have a larger audience and value. A suggestion:

Read a few commercially successful books by people who have left OTHER cults. Pick out what you think makes their stories interesting, useful, informational, and compelling. Outline their structures, and see how they alternate between sharing their personal stories, then provide information about the cult that will intrigue the reader, and go back to their histories.

Bear in mind that you will probably be able to include only a small fraction of just what you want to say.

Here's a suggestion to start with: "Fathermother God: My Journey Out of Christian Science." As an ex-Christian Scientist, I found it very good.

http://www.amazon.com/fathermothergod-Journey-Out-Christian-Science/dp/0307720934/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371530577&sr=8-1&keywords=fathermothergod

Then find a book by an ex-Scientologist, an ex-Jehovah Witness, etc. Take notes, especially on their structure, and their choice of personal information and doctrinal information. Read the ex-MO testimonies and assess which ones "work," which ones don't, and why.

Remember, rants are not good literature. Go for it!

This is some great advice, thank you! All I've come up with so far is to write every story in chronological order and keep that as a journal for my family. Then edit a shorter version of that for a book that a general audience would be interested in. But my writing skills are no muy bueno and I think that reading these books will help me out immensely. I'll start with the one you suggested.

DonQuijote Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
But my writing skills are no muy
> bueno and I think that reading these books will
> help me out immensely. I'll start with the one
> you suggested.

I'm very glad I was useful. Seeing how people deal with LDS helped me deal with Christian Science, part of the reason I stopped lurking here and started posting. Seeing what other people deal with in their cults may help organize and clarify your thoughts.

If your ideas and concepts are good, you can always engage a professional writer. That would involve money, but if it's worth it to you...

I'm relieved to see that you are in a better place then you were a few months ago and I sincerely hope the Bishop respects you enough not to toy with you or your family members. Your reply to this post indicates you are prepared to end the correspondence if they fail to live up to your wishes.

The thought of them sitting at a large conference table, discussing your "problems" with each other, or dicking around with you or your son makes me see red. I'll try to reign in my negative emotions about their "agenda."

I know that it takes a great amount of courage to open yourself up to this forum and to the world at large about your experience in Mormonism and especially in regards to fundamentalism.

I have read women's exit stories from fundamentalist groups but never from a man's perspective. I look forward to reading your book when it is published.

I wish you well. Please keep us informed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/18/2013 01:44AM by senoritalamanita.

Anytime someone on RFM mentions discussing with TBM's the reasons they are resigning/resigned, there's an onslaught of posters who try to persuade them not to saying they don't "owe them an explanation" and to avoid "baiting" them. It's one thing if the poster is terribly distraught about doing so, but if they WANT to discuss the problems with Mormonism with Mormons why on earth do some of you try and talk them out of it?

And to say things like, "there's no point" and "nothing you say will change their minds" is hogwash, IMO. First, you don't know that, and secondly, many people who have resigned from the church, myself included, resigned as a direct result of having talked to a disaffected member about the problems with Mormonism. If it weren't for people like DonQuijote Mormonism would be bigger and stronger with far more members today.

Obviously, the people in the ward who have read DonQuijote's aren't gonna throw up their hands and exclaim "by god you're right DonQuijote!" Mormons don't work that way. They will put on a brave face and try and defend the faith, but, deep down, the wheels are turning.

I served a mission in Utah and was heavily confronted by ex-Mormons and disaffected members regarding the problems with Mormonism. I tried to resolve their concerns, bore my testimony and did everything I could to convince them the church was true. I'm sure I came across as a totally unwaivering, brainwashed cult member, but deep down I was struggling with what they were saying. However they were most definitely planting seeds in my head. Despite still believing the things they mentioned got me thinking. I couldn't "unlearn" what they told me. My testimony was being challenged and it was slowly being widdled away at. I can see why the church is so afraid of apostates. I started with the apologist sources but I eventually caught on that they weren't giving the whole story. Then I started hearing about the Tanners. So then I started reading their books and it was game over for me then.

If it weren't for people like DonQuijote sharing with people like me the reasons they doubted LDS Inc, I'd probably still be Mormon today. Most Mormons simply have no clue about the problems and sometimes it takes people like us to point them out to them to get them thinking. It can be contagious and the more of us that speak up the better. I'm not talking about "shoving" our "anti-Mormonism" down their throats but if someone asks why we left and if we are comfortable talking about it, we SHOULD tell them. Mormons live in a bubble and its time we pop it for them.