Thank you everybody for the very warm comments.
Unfortunately, Things are still the same. I can't get hold of my family. They are not in Sendai area, so I am sure they are all right.

Well, I would like to talk about sticky topic the church wants to avoid.
Entire life until I joined the church, I never felt anything bad about my race or nationality. But after I heard the doctrine of race and Calvinistic teaching, I started to feel shame about my race. It was a terrible feeling. So, supposedly I am not chosen kind and I was not righteous enough in the pre-existence. I am not white means I am not good. And I worked hard in the church but I did not become white as snow. The missionaries told me that the fact I was not Caucasian did not mean that I could not get into the Celestial Kingdom. That did not make me feel better.

In Utah, there was a very sweet black girl came from one of those small islands in Caribbean Sea. When she was a Relief Society teacher, she told all the sisters in the room how sad she felt and cried when she found out that she was a descendant of Cain. I felt her agony. She meant it. But no one said a thing about it. It was a taboo topic.

My American in-laws still believe in this doctrine and behave accordingly. When my husband(before we married,he is from Utah)broke the news of our dating, the news traveled so fast. And the entire family was gossiping about us. Not just gossiping, they were trying to break our relationship. They said to my husband,"you know, Cardon clan is PURE. There is no single droplet of un-pure blood in us. We don't want Japanese blood in our family, for she has an inferior gene"
When I heard this from my husband, I sobbed.
They are all super active in the church and being respected by many. But they were my first stumbling block.

I don't think all Utah Mormons are this way. My in-laws are extreme case. Or is it a norm?

If what Brigham Young said was true, maybe what some people say that Japanese are wicked is true. I don't disagree with that. There was a sister from Peru, once told me that we were/still are so prideful and stubborn that we deserve nuclear bomb. So, perhaps this time, we deserve this calamity as well. But we don't think that way.
Japan is not a Christian country, so people automatically do not think "why this happened to me? What did I do wrong to deserve a treatment like this?" That is why they are a little calmer. They just focus on problem solving.

I am not shame of my gene nor my nationality anymore. Because I no longer believe in the great teachings of Brigham Young.
I don't believe the doctrine of racial inferiority. If one is smarter than the others, then it must be from a background of training. Genes can improve too.

Nevertheless, time to time, the memory would come back and haunts me. People in the church are generally nice people, even my in-laws. But the teaching.....is so offensive to somebody like me. (most of the Japanese Mormons in Japan ignore this doctrine or they really do not know it.)

I don't mean to offend anyone who comes to this board.And I know all of you are more open=minded than Brigham Young.

I have been to Japan and met many wonderful Japanese people. Please don't let a few racist narrow-minded Americans speak for all of us. Many Americans have great respect for Japanese culture.

Unfortunately, America has a long history of racism. It's not just Mormons.

Our country is made up of immigrants from many countries. As each new group has arrived, some of the existing citizens have decided that they don't like the newcomers. It's narrow minded and wrong, and people who think that way don't understand that our country is made richer and stronger by the people who have arrived here and brought the best parts of their own cultures. My ancestors came from England, and I grew up eating Italian food and going to Jewish youth events.

I hope you locate your family and that they are all safe. I also know people in Japan (Chiba prefecture). I heard today that they are all safe and I was very happy to hear that.

Nobody should ever make you feel ashamed of being Japanese. I'm glad you no longer believe that ridiculous piece of dogma.

He was never a prophet or anything like unto it.
Unfortunately, since a Mormon prophet can never be wrong, most people asdopted his sayings as doctrine. Even Mark E. Peterson, Harold B.Lee, Bruce R. McConkie, Joseph Fielding Smith and others quoted Brigham Young extensively.

The church taught many harmful and offensive things, although today they pretend that they did not, and that those who did were only speaking as men, but when they spoke those words they were "living prophets" who could never be wrong.

Here is a particularly damning speech theat Brigham Young gave to the State Legislature on the value of Slavery, Blood Atonement and how nobody but white Americans had any idea how to vote.

http://www.utlm.org/onlineresources/sermons_talks_interviews/brigham1852feb5_priesthoodandblacks.htm

At the end of this speech you may find personally insulting- be warned. I promise you that my intent is not to insult, but to inform and to confirm your feelings.

But the point is this- If Brigham had been a prophet and a man of God, he would know that all men and women from anywhere in the world are of equal standing before the Lord. He would have taught that no man is greater or lesser than any other.

If his successors had been men of God, they would have rebuked him and discarded his hateful words, but they did not. They kept them and expounded upon them. Thus we see that the LDS church was not led by God.

Brigham Young said that interracial marriage should be punishable by death. And it has only gotten slightly better to this day.

The current church handbook still advises members not to mix races.

It's sad but true.

Where does it say that in the current CHI? I can't find it.

I'm in an interracial marriage and my TBM in-laws are so racist it's disgusting. Sometimes they don't even realize what they are saying is racist! Ugh.

Maybe someone else knows better.

The sentiment though still exists.

It is in the current Aaronic Priesthood manual.

scroll down to quotations and discussion

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1f4fa41f6cc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=198bf4b13819d110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD

“We recommend that people marry those who are of the same racial background generally, and of somewhat the same economic and social and educational background (some of those are not an absolute necessity, but preferred), and above all, the same religious background, without question” (“Marriage and Divorce,” in 1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1977], p. 144).

It's all the same to me.

This is supposed to be advice on choosing an ETERNAL companion. Remember how "this life" is but an instant compared to eternity? What the hell do racial or economic or educational similarities have to do with the ETERNAL scheme of things? These seem like they could only impact the brief earthly part of the eternal marriage?

More evidence that these guys don't really believe their own teachings.

Yuko, you should be aware that a lot of people in the US, especially California, have a very high regard for Japanese culture. We think of Japan as a shiny urban utopia, especially Tokyo. We envy your fast trains and your macro-engineering.

The recent earthquake and tsunami was like a punch in the gut to me. It hurts. You should be proud of Japan. One group of islands with little in the way of resources became one of the greatest nations in history.

Welcome, BTW... In the late 70's a close relative of mine married a Nigerian (Catholic), and the LDS half of the family boycotted the wedding... This was after the Kimball "Revelation."

Salt Lake City has become reasonably cosmopolitan, although its size (less than 200,000 in a valley of what, 1.4 million) means that the Mormon power is essentially unchecked, even in the local governments (there are 16 cities in the S.L. Valley last I checked).

There are Americans of Japanese and Chinese extraction who've been here almost as long as any, and many Japanese settled here following the stain of the internment camps of WW II... I was privileged a few years ago to attend a wonderful cross-cultural ceremony here (it's where I acquired my taste for sushi).

Racial differences aren't born out by anthropological and genetic data, and your in-laws are just passing on the bigotry they were innoculated with...

Yuko

I feel your pain. Racism is terrible and people who believe it are just out of touch with the modern world. Most are unthinking.

As you likely know, science, DNA and all of the thinking people now agree that all of us....all.....came out of Africa around
50,000 years ago. There is no mark. There is nothing that makes us different other than years of evolution and culture. We are all related. We are all brothers and sisters.

What our cultures have done to each other is way beyond shameful. I wish I could correct it but I can't I just try to understand it. I am soooo sorry for your experience. I do hope you can get beyond it.

Your intellect brought you here, to do history work, to think critically. It hurts me deeply that those dusty, putrid old men could make you feel bad.

This odd religion has a lot of mythology.

I was wondering today, how can an American reach out and help a more advanced culture of people? Yes, we have nuclear physicists, who studied along side with the Japanese physicists at school now. It's not like reaching out to any other country, as if our version of science and medicine could be of any help. It seems that the entire state of Utah avoided that college course "critical thinking" so they couldn't maintain their quickly crumbling religion. In addition, our children rank behind Cambodia in knowlege of math and science. The quandry will be "how can we help?"

Stay strong. America is a young nation and a foolish one. We allowed a con-artist claim to dig up some golden plates (so he could make money) and build an entire religion.

Please accept my sincere condolences for the tragedy in your native country. I hope your friends and family there are all okay.

I do speak to God the Father & Son, and I asked him about all the different races and ethnic groups. He replied "They are all my children and I love them all!" There is no racial or ethnic difference. All are equal under him. There are no inferior or superior people except in their sick minds.
The LDS teachings from past leaders is plain sick, sick, sick!

The Mormon teaching of the preexistence is abhorrent. It is abusive.

That teaching is one of the most harmful to our sense of well being and self-esteem.

I hope you have news of your family soon.

What a terrible tragedy for your country.

Your in-laws sound like my family. There are a lot of good people in Utah but there are many who are not so good.

My own brother argued with my wife and I just recently about the current teaching to young men not to marry outside of their race. I am white, my wife is not. We have been married for more than 27 years. My brother is on his third marriage after two divorces (all to white women). He teaches the young men and was angry that I and my wife dared to question the manual.

The last time I was in your country was in 2000. My heart is there right now.

I wish racism was the sole reason I decided tscc wasn't true. It should have been, and it was a big factor. The racism is a dead give-away that it is a fraud.

Yuko, I'm sorry your family is so racist. The LDS church and teachings are very racist, and they are completely false teachings. It was all just made up by men hoping to get rich from a church. I'm glad we are all free of this horrible cult.

We have a lovely Japanese DIL, a very dedicated mom. Her only fault is, she is a brainwashed TBM! But we still love her...;)

I wish people could make connections and realize the church is built on lies and be their own person. Brigham Young is so awful..and I went to BYU which makes me even more mad.
I dated a Japanese boy in high school. I come from a very Mormon family and I always got the..you know you aren't suppose to interracial marriage talk. I felt like they treated him different which then gave me low self esteem and felt like I wasn't good enough cause I was in love with a Japanese boy. So you aren't alone!
I do not see race, I see the individual. Don't let that define you. You are your own, stand strong. I can see it more clearly every day. I love all people and want to help them all.

I had a young friend who went as an exchange student to Japan. She is tall with blue grey eyes, very pale skin, and hair the color of weathered straw. She could speak and understand Japanese very well. One time she was in a book store and the people were pointing her out to each other. she found the shoppers reaction funny when she used very polite Japanese to the clerk when she bought her book.
She could understand the national pride that the best in the world was to be Japanese, but she could not find anything about blacks/Africans/Africa in their encyclopedias. It was as if Blacks did not exist in Japan or in the information for the kids.... but that was her experience.

My boys love watching some of the animai like Bleach on line so we are used to hearing Japanese it is musical and expressive, but the gal and her friend from the other dimension are very funny in their relationship!

I was truly shocked to find out that Asians were not granted citizenship until the late 50s early 60s in this country! Horrible, considering how many thousands of Chinese dug the massive tunnels for the coast to coast railroad! In Elko Nevada and Jacksonville Oregon they weren't even allowed to walk above ground! They had to dig tunnels under the town and conduct all of their business and living there!

I have black hair and had Mor(m)ons ask me how much Indian blood I had in me!!! I guess they didn't know Caucasians live in Alaska too!
Then there was the cousin of my BIC husband who told me if you ever turn against the church your skin will turn black! So there is a lot of stupidity in the way of race in the church. Sigh.... well the disgusted are leaving which means only the disgusting are left as members....:D!

I have never visited Japan, but would like to do so. The Japanese culture has accumulated a great amount of wisdom over the centuries.

But unfortunately, there are ignorant people everywhere. Mormon doctrine has a way of encouraging ignorance about race and culture.

When I was molly mormon and I told my best friend (Native American) the book of mormon story about his supposed ancestors he laughed at me for days on end... He thought it was hilarious..

But when I told him about how people of color had done something wrong in the pre-existance to be born of color here on earth he nearly blew a gasket!..

And rightfully so!

Now, I feel so ashamed for ever believing that kind of idiocy! What a load of ultimate arrogance that is! How dare people think such degrading things! That is my biggest regret and shame from my mormon days.

I'm really sorry that this has hurt you. Unfortunately, racism is wider spread and deeper ingrained than I care to think.

NOBODY should be ashamed of their race. NO ONE should be ashamed of not being white. That's a load of rubbish. Somebody who says that to you should have their teeth knocked out.

> People in the church are generally nice people, even my in-laws. But the teaching.....is so offensive to somebody like me.

There's a saying Mormons love to use when Mormons are jerks: "The church is perfect but the people are not." Actually it's the other way around: The people are basically good but the gospel is really ugly.

I home taught a black university student in Utah in the 90s. He told of an LDS father who forbade him to date his daughter simply because he was black. And, yes, this was many years after the 1978 "revelation."

The Church is trying to change their image but they refuse to change their doctrine. When Gordon B. Hinckley was interviewed for an Australian radio program he was asked if the past leaders were wrong about the Church's racist policies. He replied that they weren't.

In other words the Church STILL claims (but only if pressed on it) that they did nothing wrong by teaching racist doctrines for over a century. They can't admit the leaders were wrong then because it might mean that they are wrong now. This means that, according to Mormon doctrine, something spiritually DIFFERENT about blacks. It's not that all are equal and race has nothing to do with anything, it's that, in the Mormon world the time has come when even those who were cursed for something they did in the preexistence, will be allowed to hold the Priesthood.

Until the Church officially repudiates their racist past and admits they were wrong (with an apology, one would expect) Mormonism is racist. Not "was racist" but "is racist." Not just a few of the members but the very doctrine it teaches.

Did you marry into The Royal Cardons? The rich ones who have produced a lot of mission presidents? It always looked like to me that the ones who were not wealthy from the oil business all became dentists, the career of choice for wealthy Mormons.

I am very sorry that you have had some of these experiences. mormons are jerks which is a reason so many of us left. it is really disgusting that Mormons think that a highly civilised culture with thousands of years of history and language is inferior to a bunch of bearded pioneers from New England, USA.

Yuko, allow me to send you positive vibes in the hope that you will find your family in Japan and that they are safe and sound. One suggestion I would make which might help is that http://www.google.com has some sort of thing inside it (can someone help me out?) that will allow you to put your family's name on to some sort of list so that people will know you're looking for certain people and if they are found you would be notified somehow. I don't know how it works, but it would be a starting point.

Growing up Mormon has a detrimental effect on people of colour and people from mixed backgrounds. When I was a little girl, I wanted so badly to have blonde hair and blue eyes. I was ashamed of having "Lamanite" heritage sometimes.

I have a great amount of respect and love of Japanese culture and I think it's disgusting the way your in-laws treated you.

I hope your family is ok.

I am very sorry and share your hurt and pain,,we all do. Almost all of us on this board have been victim to the discrimation and arrogance of the mormons. However there are many good members that don't discrimnate,,there are good and bad in any religion. While in the Navy we visited Japan several times. Very much enjoyed the leaves there. We all wish you the best and keep in contact.

My parents tried to be progressive about race but didn't quite get there. My mom always forbade racial slurs of any kind even before SWK decided black people really were human after all.

But her understanding of the true gospel principles required her to subscribe to the "less valiant" crap taught about the war in heaven. When I briefly dated a black girl at BYU in the mid 80's my mom got very uncomfortable and nervous. She wouldn't say anything directly but it was obvious she was having problems.

It isn't my place to apologize for others, but I'm sorry you've felt the ugly sting of bigotry. I hope your family and loved ones are OK and that you hear from them soon. I long for the day when race, gender, sexuality and everything else is a non issue.

Stunted

Just sayin'.

Not to take away from the unspeakable tragedy of what's going on in Japan, but let's not get carried away with canonizing Japanese culture. I'm the American daughter in law (my MIL is Japanese) and it's not too pretty. I visited The Family once in Ito and Yokosuka, and the only way I'd go back would be if I could stay in a hotel, far from them, but I'm in no hurry!

I was shocked how sexist and racist they were. I have met several very nice, classy Japanese people in the states, but make no mistake - the sexism and racism in that culture goes very deep, irrespective of financial strata within it.

All that aside, it's wrong to judge or limit anyone based on their sex, gender attraction, ethnicity, race or economic circumstances. The Japanese are hardly immune to such attitudes.

It's amazing to me how every time I come to this site I am able to put more of my past into context.

When I was in my early teens my aunt was dating a Japanese man. My cousins and I all loved him and were quite excited when they got more and more serious. Sometime soon after they had started taking temple-prep classes, they decided that it was in their (and their future children's) best interest to break it off. I remember being so sad and confused, thinking that the world was ok with inter-racial marriages, and if they really loved each other, why did it matter? But, at that time I was still under the shiny-happy church teachings, and had no idea that it was probably church leaders leaning on them to not pollute our white and delightsome family lines. Barf.

I am so sorry that you have been subjected to this kind of behavior from people who hold themselves up as being loving and welcoming to all. (I am also sad that normally loving and caring people have been brainwashed all their lives to go against their own true feelings...)

I have also greatly enjoyed reading all your posts the last few days. They are written very beautifully and thoughtfully. I do hope that you will soon be able to stop worrying that you are offending anyone here with what you are writing.

Lastly, a Japanese coworker shared this link with us about AT&T offering to wave fees for calls and text messages to Japan. I'm not sure if it will help you locate family, but it's worth passing on

http://www.att.com/gen/press-room?pid=19324&cdvn=news&newsarticleid=31687&mapcode=wireless-networks-general|consumer