Posted by:
forbiddencokedrinker
(
)
Date: June 23, 2013 02:31AM
I was reading an old account of a ship wreck, where the journals of the survivors mentioned being on the water for a day, when they were suddenly confronted by a very large shark. At this point, I was expecting some calamity, but instead of being fearful, the old 19th century sailors had instead saw the shark as an opportunity, and had tried to lure it close to their life boats, as a free meal. Their accounts, there were multiple journal keepers, instead of being fearful, were about the great disappointment that the shark had never come close enough for them to turn into fish sticks.
Likewise, as I drive by long stretches of beautiful Florida beaches, I am reminded that the ocean is teaming with sharks and other large predators, and not to mention all kinds of small nasty things, such as jelly fish. Then there is the big killer, the riptides, and undercurrents that kill dozens more tourist every year, then all the sea monsters combined. One could argue that it would be perfectly reasonable, and altogether rise just to stay out of the ocean all together, just in case. One would do so, forgetting that the actual risk was really remote, and the joy of a good ocean swim are well worth the danger, so long as one remained mindful to avoid the water at its more dangerous peaks.
Mormons view life, the way a paranoid man who has just watched a Jaws film festival views the water. They know that in the world of adult experiences, tragedy occasionally strikes, so they avoid life as best as possible. They hide behind their families, their church, their desire to avoid the appearance of evil, and so instead of getting into the waves, they stay far back on shore, all the while shaking their heads at all the fools going into the water. Heck, Mormons won't even get their feet on the sand, unless they give off the appearance of swimming.
Another popular topic on this board is Mormon obsession with MLMs. It has been commented that Mormons are drawn to these get rich quick scams, but I don't actually think it is the get rich idea that actually attracts a Mormon to the latest version of ScamWay. Instead it's their aversion to risk, and the promise of them being able to earn a living, without ever having to leave the safety of their little community.
So while others head off to clubs, drink the occasional adult beverage responsibly, go on dates with people of other faiths, and wear two piece swimsuits, Mormons avoid all of these things, because of what might happen. After all, they can't even take off their underwear, for fear that a spiritual Jaws is lurking somewhere near.