What should I do? I left a year ago and have had zero contact from the bishop or any priesthood leaders. I am not scared to say anything to them, so advice? My husband has recently left, still believes somewhat, but doubted enough to leave and refuses to discuss it. He doesn't participate in anything Mormon and doesn't have any contact with anyone from church except his TBM family.
I asked him what we should do with this "invitation" to see the SP and he has told me to do whatever I like and he will be fine with it. Should I ignore the calls or go and see him? There is so much I would love to say but at the same time I want them to see how well we are doing. I was the primary president and my husband was in the bishopric so it was a real shock to the ward when I suddenly left with all my kids. It was an even bigger shock when my husband left.
Thanks.

Dont go. Don't feed into their belief that they have the power to rule your life. Write to the sp and tell him your family does not believe, you know the church is a lie and it is fiscally corrupt and he is not to contact your family again. put the sp in his place, which should be under a rock.

I doubt they are fiscally corrupt. They might be.

BUT, I would say there's a huge disconnect between it's insistence that it's a Christian Church and the way the $$ is spent.

It's likely more of an ethical and moral corruption than actual money-laundering corruption, although anything is possible. The first two are easier to identify because it's so blatant.

If it will bring closure for you (and you feel you need closure) this might work for you. It won't make any difference to the SP, no matter what you say or how wonderful you are doing. He really has one motive and you know what that is. (Hint: It ain't "love" and it rhymes with "Funny")

Personally, I wouldn't stick my finger back in the tar baby. You will get feel yucky and end up getting tar all over you. Let it go and focus on where you want to be, NOT where you have been.

Actually I wanted to add that my stake president wanted to know how much I knew and who I have been talking to. It was purely damage control. Now the people I shared my knowledge with have three callings to keep them too busy from finding out more...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2013 10:15AM by smith.

Have you guys formally resigned or just gone inactive? If you're just inactive, then they think they can reactivate you by:

*Love-bombing you

*Offering to help you with those "troubling" questions that are shaking your testimony. The answers usually range from pray, read the BOM again to pray & read the BOM again.

*Threatening you with a court of love if they feel you're being an active apostate.

You aren't obligated to meet with or speak to anyone from the LDS church. You don't owe them an explanation for your non-attendance or you beliefs. The bishop or the Stake Pres or Monson himself don't have any power over you.

From what I've read in 5 years on this board, your SP won't listen/absorb what you tell him, nor will your happy life make an impression. To him, w/o the Morg and Ol' Joe's gospel, you can't truly be happy.

Unless you seriously *want* to go for your own recovery sake, I'd tell them no thanks.

Leaving a firm message is better than ignoring the request because you probably don't want to be continually harassed. If they call back in spite of your refusal, repeat it as needed.

If you go you open the possibility of negative outcomes.

If you go you empower them with authority over your life.

Even though there are "things" you would like to say to the SP, you really do not owe them an explanation.

The SP will not be able to give you any valid answers to any questions you have about doctrine.

Why place yourself in an uncomfortable situation?

You don't have to respond to their request for a meeting...I always thought it a pompous action from church authorities to think they can call inactive members for a meeting and seriously expect inactive members to respond.

Good luck...

+1

I've been through this. Stake Exec Sec contacts me to say:

"Hi Brother Stumbling, President Smith would like to meet with you on Thursday. Can you make it to the Stake Centre for 8pm?"
"Well thanks for the invite, but I'm not available. I will let you know if and when I want to meet with him."
"Oh. Can you make it the Thursday after?"
"I said no thanks. If and when I want to meet with him, I will contact you. Goodbye."
*click*

Thanks guys, you are all right as usual. Sometimes scenarios run through my head where I get to tell the priesthood dicks what I think, but reality won't be like that.

Here is the message I just sent to the Stake secretary who had been trying to get in contact with us to set up the interview.

"We were quite surprised to receive your message as I have repeatedly asked for my contact details not to be given out and only a couple of people had my cell number. It means people are not respecting our wishes.
We would like to decline the invitation to meet with (first name of SP) because we no longer identify ourselves with the Mormon church and do not recognize any man as our leader.
We know that the church leaders have been given extra pressure recently to reactive, but we would like our decisions to be respected.
Please tell him we are much happier now that we have left the church and that we wish all the best to the church members.
Kind regards,
Inky"

Good reply.

Very good reply

Excellent reply! These people have no power over you. Have you resigned? I would.

I have it on good authority of about thirty ex-Mormons, including my daughter and me. The Stake President wants to offer you a calling. That is their new strategy, to get people involved and obligated and back into a position of obedience. Say "NO." and do not give any explanation at all. You might have to repeat "NO" maybe twenty times in one conversation, and that is no exaggeration. They will invent an easy, supposedly "fun" calling, specifically to involve you. (All the callings are invented and useless, and don't come from God. The Mormons told my daughter that her calling would require that she only attend church twice a month! What kind of lie is that? My daughter attends about once every 6 weeks, to keep her TBM husband from pouting.

My daughter loves little children, and the calling was to teach the sunbeams. There are only two Sunbeams in the new ward, which was a combination of 3 old wards. Our neighborhood Mormon population has shrunk drastically. Hey, how much trouble is it to go only twice a month? Not worth it, when her husband and kids wanted to go to Park City last Sunday, and had to wait for her stupid class to be over. With only one ward per stake house, church happens in the middle of the day, to best disrupt any family plans.

Even a former Mormon "friend," and even the smiliest, most pleasant Mormon face is trying to steal your time and money from you, through lies. I'm very curious what shiny new calling they will have to entice a former Bishopric member and a former Primary President--and especially your kids, who are also targets. Let us know.


What a great analogy, Deja Boo:

>>>"Personally, I wouldn't stick my finger back in the tar baby. You will get feel yucky and end up getting tar all over you. Let it go and focus on where you want to be, NOT where you have been"<<<

Good answer. I suspect he's trying to offer you or your husband a calling.

He is a leader in a group you no longer affiliate with.

If a Catholic Cardinal summoned you, would you come running?

Stiff sh!t for the SP. Don't answer his summons.

Let me guess. The SP himself didn't contact you, it was his
exec secretary. The message went something like this:

"Hello, sister Inky, you don't know me from Adam, but I'm
President Puffedchest's exec. sec. President Puffedchest would
like you and your Brother Inky to meed with him. Would Thursday
night at 7:00 be good for you? . . . . No, I can't tell you what
it's about, President Puffedchest will tell you when you meet
with him."

So a total stranger calls you out of the blue and tries to set
up a meeting with another total stranger at that other total
stranger's office and won't tell you what it's about. I don't
know about you but I would ignore such "invitations."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2013 08:47AM by baura.

As Cheryl aptly points out, a real church does not summon its members. Grow cojones. Don't go. Or, if you feel out of some sort of fear that the meeting MUST take place, do so on your own terms. Do not feed the beast.

Also please note that he wants to see your husband. Often this will turn into a situation where he pressures the husband to take charge of the family and the back-sliding wife and to bring them into activity. I mean, why would he not contact the woman and ask if there's anyway to influence the husband? Eh? One might well ask. But it never happens.

Totally up to you. You already know what they will say.

Remember, everything related to church is 100% voluntary. Every bit of your participation is your choosing. I say decide what you want your relationship to be with church and stick with it.

PERSONALLY I Wouldnot go!I wouldnt give them that kindo satifaction. Or power over me. BUT if youve got some good comments to leave them with. It would give you closure. Otherwise NO! DONT GO! Theyll only think theyve got their foot in the door!

by your local Committee for the Advancement of the Work of Salvation. Just say no!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2013 10:36AM by munchybotaz.

Ask him for a New Home Loan. Tell him you want your tithing money back!

I think the more people that are vocal about why they don't attend church the better. It helps open up dialog and inform them and demonstrates for them that people are leaving and for what reasons.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2013 10:47AM by snuckafoodberry.

"I used to subscribe to <insert service/magazine, etc here> and I cancelled it a while ago. Now they want to talk to me. What should I do?"

The church is a business trying to re-activate a previous customer. No special powers. Treat them accordingly.

Think of this as an abuser in an abusive relationship. The abuser/dominant wants control over the victim/submissive. He re-courts his victim when she breaks free; this would be equivalent to "love-bombing." The "good times," the happiness, the love of family and friends, the good feelings of being connected to something meaningful and important, etc. are emphasized. Promises and possible benefits are touted. When and if the victim's affections are successfully won back, then -- little by little -- the mechanisms of control are gradually re-applied.

A person can be involved in an abusive relationship with an institution, such as a church, a company, a political organization, as with an abusive person. The victim's challenge is to not just separate, but to become healthy in one's own right, and break free of the cycle of co-dependency.

The risks of re-engaging the abuser far outweigh any possible benefits benefits.

Putting yourself in the position of defending (or even asserting) your right to leave is disempowering.

Tell him you will meet him at the local tavern; over drinks and the sounds of a screaming guitar...

Looks like the overwhelming advise is to decline, and I agree.

However, if you went and he offered you a calling, I would tell him the only calling you would accept is that of Apostle, and for only long enough to open the doors of the GA's vault, disclose all financial records, and be the one, lone, voice for honesty.

"Should I ignore the calls or go and see him?"

No don't go....TELL him PLAINLY that you and your husband have no desire to meet him. It's your choice...exercise it.