If members could just leave the LDS Church without all the judgement and shunning, sites like RFM would be unnecessary and wouldn't exist. But we are judged, shunned and made to feel like scum for finding out the truth and standing up to the corporation. Many of us belong to TBM families and are the only ones who don't believe. The cold looks and obvious disapproval are difficult to handle. We need a place to blow off steam. So RFM exists because the cult makes it necessary.

I don't have enough experience to know what it is like if I left the Catholic church, for instance. Let's say my family had been Catholic for generations, my wife was Catholic...and then I leave because I don't believe in it. Actually, come to think of it, I had a neighbor in Michigan and the spouse left Lutheranism for her husband's Catholicism. When he was investigating the LDS church she said "I'm not changing again for you". Anyway, it wouldn't be like it is leaving Mormonism, I think. Catholics, in my experience are pretty non-judgemental and easy going. Or at least I thought that until this last election and seeing Prick Santorum and Paul Ryan kinda sullied my image of Catholics, with all the birth control nonsense and abortion hard line stuff.

So, yea, Mormonism has its claws in people, spouses, families, and politics. It is one hard mother-you-know-whater to disengage yourself from.

I have a relative who left the Catholic church to join Mormonism...technically a excommunicable offense if I understand correctly. He has never once in nearly half a century been contacted by them.

I think it says a lot about the Mormon church that the owners of this site think it's necessary to post the national suicide hotline number.

+1

Yeah, that number isn't there because we're bitter.

Ana

+3. Mormons polarize themselves and create polar opposites.

She told me that one of her favorite parents is a Lesbian couple and that they are really involved in their children's education.

Imagine a school run by Mormon where they accepted a Gay or Lesbian couple's children.

I think that "The Proclamation on The Family" would pretty much prevent this from ever happening and The Catholic Church fights Gay marriage.

Hmmmm.

Excommunicated Catholics are still Catholics. Once you are baptized, you cannot be "unbaptized" in the eyes of God. One cannot resign, either. It doesn't matter if you send a threatening letter, lol.

Excommunications are rare and are viewed as a remedial or punishing action -- with the view that one can come back into the good graces of the church and God.

Those who are excommunicated are banned from receiving communion [sacrament] or from taking an active part in church, such as reading from the bible, collecting church offerings. And of course, priests and bishops can be excommunicated for violating their vows.

I believe the story about the Gay and Lesbian couple having children attend parochial school. Lots of non-Catholics send their children to parochial schools. All the school cares about is if your kid sells enough chocolate bars, Christmas wrapping paper, and coughs up any extra required donation-money to satisfy that kid's quota for the year. [This is in addition to monthly tuition fees, of course]

For all the blather about birth control, Catholics rarely take it seriously. To be honest, I don't recall ever hearing a priest bring the subject up in mass.

No one really gets in your grill. The priests for the most part, don't know your name and don't really care. If you refrain from joining any Catholic organizations and don't enroll your kids in Catholic school -- its a cinch staying under the radar.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2013 07:49PM by Senoritalamanita.

There was a comment about RfM from someone at slashdot years ago saying "That's the sign of a quality religion -- when your former adherents band together and form a recovery group."

Hmm, I can see that point of view. It basically means the religion was so "good" that it requires major therapy to be without it.

That is a strong counter argument. How would I contest that? I'm stumped now. I guess the best way is to show that we are stronger and happier now, and that these recovery groups are just to help us temporarily at first.
They should rather be called Redemption groups, to reveal, redeem and destroy the fraud. Lol

You know, it didn't even occur to me to think of it that way. I assumed he was being sarcastic -- that Mormonism isn't really a "quality" religion at all, but something destructive enough that people needed recovery afterward.

I guess war is good since so many vets need recovery from it when its over.

Drugs must be good since they are hard to recover from after quitting them.

It may not have been this way in the Middle Ages of course, but I am under the impression that Catholics are allowed to be skeptical, to struggle with faith, relapse, etc, and not be hounded out of the church but rather welcomed.

With the Mormons, it's accept absolultely everything with total obediance, or you're not wanted and will be shunned and/or ridiculed.

I drifted away from membership in the ELCA in college. It was no big deal, it really didn't worry my parents or their friends at church. Sometimes I go with them at Christmas when I visit their town and catch up with people.

I still for the most part share almost the exact same world view as my (still members) parents because they don't believe in the superstitious stuff in the bible like miracles or the second coming or really worry about the concepts of heaven and hell at all. It was a move two steps to the left of them, not giant steps into a whole different world view to leave.

We still share the same values.

I don't have personal experience there, but I would guess maybe the Presbyterians and Episcopalians and churches like that are the same.

Those institutions do not place the church before family.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2013 05:43PM by 2+2=4.

If you leave, you are left alone, people don't come after you and hound you to come back.

If you move to a new place, they don't tell you what church you're assigned to. It is up to you to find a new church home, and sometimes people might even switch from ELCA to Episcopalian or some other close denomination when they move just because they like the location or pastor better or there are more young families or something.

When I visit my parents church, no one even asks me if I attend church in my town. We talk about other things.

When I left, no one worried about my immortal soul.

If I was an axe murderer or an embezzler or a drug dealer or running an MLM scam (or had joined a cult LOL) or I was doing some other kind of thing that crossed an ethical line then my parents and their church community WOULD have been concerned about me!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2013 05:59PM by 2+2=4.

Back in the late 70's, the twenty something son of a couple who belonged to my parent's church got sucked into Amway...I don't think anyone was really 100% sure what it was but they saw the high pressure sales and suspected a pyramid.

I DO remember my parents and their friends talking about that situation with concern.

The instant that Joe Smith claimed he had 'The ONLY Truth' and everyone else was full of shit, the battle began.

My wife quit the Catholic Religion a few years ago and has NEVER been asked why or contacted by anyone.


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

Absolutly!! Ive never heard of a recovery from christianity site. Or recovery from buddism etc... No other western organised religion (that i know of) gets so much into your life your spare time,your energy. THEY ASKS so much!! And everything they promise is unseen & unproven.! they take,take take.

Well most. But I would include Jehovah Witnesses and most definitely Scientology as groups where its not easy leaving it.

This is from a post of mine a few years ago on the Post Mormon board and more recently on our support group Facebook page:


I think that the very existence of Exmo groups and mormon recovery support organizations like this one is clear and present evidence of the damage caused by the cult of mormonism.

I just think there is a reason there are no ex-Presbyterian or ex-Buddhist or ex-Universalist recovery support groups out there, as these are largely benevolent groups who, though they may teach some verifiably false concepts, nevertheless are not mind control cults and are not capable of creating the sort of "raw" trauma common to escapees of mormonism.

No, mormonism, like war, creates its own special trauma such that escapees of it become immediate kinfolk and share an almost immediate and unmistakable affinity.

By way of analogy, let me quote some of journalist Joe Galloway's comments from a speech to a combat Veteran's Association group:

" I now know why men who have been to war yearn to reunite. Not to tell stories or look at old pictures. Not to laugh or weep. Comrades gather because they long to be with the men who once acted their best.....men who suffered and sacrificed.....who were stripped raw......right down to their humanity. I did not pick these men. They were delivered by fate and the military. But I know them in a way I know no other men. I have never given anyone such trust. They were willing to guard something more precious than my life. They would have carried my reputation.....the memory of me. It was part of the bargain we all made.....the reason we were so willing to die for one another."

"As long as I have memory I will think of them all.....every day. I am sure that when I leave this world....my last thought will be of my family and my comrades.......such good men. . . .. . Thank you. I salute you. I remember you. I will teach my sons the stories and legends about you."

Shared suffering, sacrifice and being "stripped raw" define exmormons in a way very much characterized by Galloway's sentiments. IMO exmormons share a knowledge and experience of betrayal and trauma in many ways much like combat veterans.

Just about every exmormon I know has paid a heavy, heavy price and they have given their pound of flesh (or soul) as the case may be. Even among exmo strangers our affinity seems natural and easy, our compassion and affection seems automatic and instinctive. To me it is obvious that this natural intimate bond with fellow exmormons may easily last a lifetime -- and it is clear that many people on the boards and in the exmo community have been enjoying a special close association for decades or even longer. I find this to be tremendously positive, healing and constructive. It is no surprise that exmormons seek to gather, share their stories, and offer support to each other.

It is well to point out that:

No one was recruited to this Board.

No one was love-bombed or fellowshipped to join it.

No one was threatened or frightened with eternal consequences if they didn't join.

No one had to pass the exmormon "investigator" class of concepts to be allowed to join or to relate to the people here, nor is there any official canon of exmormon doctrine: any reasonable evidence (pro or con) is welcome on the Board.

If people did not have a natural affinity for the stories and experiences and comments and people here they would not be here.

In short, our non-coerced existence here, our shared common experience, and our natural common affinity and empathy seem like irrefutable evidence of the reality of the effects of the cult of mormonism. Hundreds of people nearly 24/7 are silently devouring the stories and discussions on the exmo websites. All of them are offered completely organically and voluntarily, without any "correlation" committee and no slick Madison Avenue message control. Is it really plausible that thousands of people are drawn to this information out of some desire to invent "lies" about mormons? I think not.

Is it really plausible that in 12 months our local SLC support group grew to hundreds because everyone just loves to hate mormons? What could possibly be more positive than people seeking to really love and support one another?

"They" say money is the root of all evil. The upper echelons of the MO Corp cult are so desperate to keep their money stream flowing that they mandate the judgement and shunning as a deterrent to keep others from leaving and taking their money with them. This does not sound "Christian" but sounds cultish to me.

Bad habits are very hard to break. RFM has helped me break my bad mo habit. Now, I can look back with little pain and a lot of humor (except for the thousands I paid for a place in the imaginary ck).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2013 10:02PM by evergreen.