Anyone else have a non-supportive spouse? In other words one that gossips about private things to the next-door neighbor in exchange for juicy gossip?

Next door neighbor: My wife is seriously obese, and is VERY sensitive about her weight.

My husband: My wife has webbed toes and is VERY sensitive about it. She always wears covered shoes, never sandals.

Wtf!

Is there anything the neighbor doesn't know about, honey?

And you thought women gossiped?!

So I have been walking on pins and needles so I don't add any extra verbiage to their discussions. This means that what I used to discuss with my spouse, I no longer do. I miss the days when we could talk about anything. I don't have that any longer. Gawd! I'm sad.

You feel violated, and you have been.

My TBM ex-wife did the same to me. She was a good 'listener' and so many people would open up to her. I guess she thought she had to share her own negative stuff in return (except that she was the 'perfect molly-mo' so she shared MY crap). I was so hurt when I found out, but she didn't care - she said she couldn't help it and that she can't keep a secret.

Well, I can assure you that she NEVER 'shared' with anyone else the sexual affair she had with the father of one of her 6th grade students when she was teaching school. For some reason, THAT never came out.

Ask hubby if he'd like the tables turned. There's stuff you know that he doesn't want shared.

Tell him to shut the fuck up or you're going to start talking about his poop stains.

Lol

I'm so sorry. He doesn't have the right to gossip about things that make you feel sensitive. Not that this gives him the right, but he probably thinks that your webbed toes are no big deal, or even cute, and thus thought nothing of saying something like that. However, it was inconsiderate. Have you talked to him about it?

Ditto. Sometimes people are just insensitive. Try talking to him about it.

If you overheard this just volunteer your own TMI, to wit:

Yes, my webbed feet are constantly causing Mr. LoseLips here to be impotent. His ED may soon bankrupt us with the cost of Viagra being so high.

I guarantee he will get the point.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2013 09:56PM by ramonglyde.

Wow husbands can be mean, mine today just told me in front of the boys Women should not vote and all of the worlds wars have all been started because of women(he was being serious). Sorry your husband made you feel bad.

Make an appointment with a plastic surgeon to have them fixed.

When he sees that bill he'll never run his mouth again.

LOVE that suggestion, Mia!

that now you feel like you have to hide anything from him that you don't want your neighbor to know. Maybe ask him how he would feel if you told your friend (insert his deepest and darkest secret here).

Tell him that he's going to have to earn your trust back by showing that he understands, and by keeping confidences again, but it's going to take you a while to feel safe enough to open up again.

You definitely need to talk about this with him, or your relationship will be ruined, and he might not even know what happened. It could be that he's a little clueless. However, if he tries to invalidate your concerns, then head to counseling.

Sorry this happened.

And after all those healthy suggestions, just make outrageous, but plausible, stuff up and watch it spread around. Then I'd have the conversation about how you're supposed to be able to trust your partner with your deepest secrets and without trust, you've got nothing.

"And now don't you feel silly for telling the neighbor about me waxing my mustache off every month?"

Talk to your husband about what you consider acceptable or not acceptable to share with friends and neighbors. It sounds like he has a lower threshold for privacy than you do.